No Place Like Home

Cierra with Daddy at a rehab outing

Today after lunch Cierra is coming home!  After 43 days I can't imagine how good it will feel for her family to begin the journey back to abnormal.

 Buddy, the young dog, is going to lose his mind!  How awesome it will feel for my sister to sleep in her own bed again, and for CeCe to be able to watch her shows, ( They didn't have her channel at the hospital.) play with her own toys and books, and see her dogs!  Also, for my brother-in-law, Tom, who works away from home, to get back to his routine and give the "Keeper of the Home Fires" title back to Kate.

It has been a long emotional roller coaster, and that's just for those of us on the sideline.  I didn't see her this weekend, so I will finally have the chance tonight to hug her, hold her, and play with her without twenty tubes coming from everywhere, and that makes me cry.  Quite frankly, I think it's relief.  I only lost it one time during the thick of this, even in private I didn't cry.  Then yesterday Kate sent me this picture of CeCe on a bowling outing with some of the rehab patients, and I lost it.  Good thing it was over the lunch hour. :)  It makes me tear up even now.

This is the second time in six months that something life threatening has happened to one of the Goovers, and it really makes you think.  I have dealt with many forms of loss in life, and I know how to do it, and I feel like I can offer some pretty good words of comfort, and, or, advice on the subject, but not on this.  I'm way out of my depth, and hope to keep it that way.  I'm going on the assumption it's not something you ever get over, but something you learn to live with.

So many people have offered prayers for Cierra, and for my family (myself included), and I want you to know that every night before I fall asleep I offer them back for you.  With the reach of social media, and the number of unknown people at the hospital and various churches who have been praying I just cover it by asking God to send blessings to each and every person who has lifted her up in prayer.

Next week Cierra will even be returning to school.  I don't like it.  Nope, not one bit.  I vote for a bubble.  Just like "The Bubble Boy."  No germs.  Ugh.  How do you parents do this without losing your mind? (reason 342 why I don't have my own)

Adventually

I know, I know, it's Lent not Advent, but I am way behind on this one and didn't want to hold it until next year! 

I don't actually celebrate Advent in the traditional Catholic way, I'm aware of the meaning and the season, but I don't light an advent wreath every evening at dinner. I do, however, have an advent calendar that goes up every year. 

I actually can not remember a time in my life when this calendar wasn't up on December first.  My Mom must have made it when we were very little, or even before I was born.  It caused great anticipation and not a little fighting..... 

We had to go in order.  Joanie, Jerry, Katie, Joanie, Jerry, Katie.  If you forgot to take your turn first thing in the morning, someone might do it for you later in the day, and then it was ON.  Soon I became old enough to realize that if you go in order of birth every year, then every year Katie gets to put the star on the tree.  Oh I don't THINK so.  So then Mom had to start each year with a different child.  No wonder her hair was salt, with a little bit of pepper.

Then David was born (dun dun DUNNNN) and by his second Christmas he had his own (with help) turn.  I  imagine that was a battle too, why not?  If you were helping David it was pretty much a free turn for you.  At least 24 is still divisible by four so we all got the exact same amount of turns, I can't imagine what kind of hoopla that one would have caused. 

For the last twenty years or so I have had all the turns.  ALL THE TURNS!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  sorry.... My Mom wasn't a saver, by any means.  At least I caught her before she trashed all the decorations she no longer wanted, and fished this (amongst many other things) out.  How could you toss out something so sentimental?  Something you made for your sweet children?  So now it's MINE, MINE, ALL MINE! sorry....  I do let the kids put them on when they are over, and doncha know there was an issue?  Someone snuck one on when it wasn't her turn, and was busted, cause I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday, Tater.  Especially when it comes to the Advent calendar. :)

My Mom put a lot of work into this thing, and it is a treasure that I hold dear, mostly for that reason, not because I get all of the turns. She did a lot of felt work, all of our stockings, and a couple of other Christmas decorations that I have up.  I could part with those, but for whatever reason, not this.  Several times I have almost handed it over to another sibling, but I just can't do it.  Someday when the nieces/nephew have kids maybe I'll be ready.  Maybe......

My sister in law, the mother of The Artist Formerly Known As Pablo, made this calendar for me.  It's also something that my Mother used to make every year for family/close friends.  This seems like the perfect place for it.  Thanks Jen. :)

Lil Fighter

Today I had the chance to spend a few hours with CeCe up in the PICU.  She was up in the wheelchair doing laps around the joint when I arrived, but she greeted me with a silent "Hi" and a wave.  Her hands aren't tied when she's in the chair, but she didn't try any covert maneuvers.  Although she did knock the finger thingy off a couple of times.

We went back to her room and read some books, she wasn't really interested in any of her toys, but again she managed to boss me around and initiate some of the odd games that are just for Auntie.

I had a chance to see the speech therapist give C some things to eat, and she was cautiously optimistic.  CeCe is swallowing, but they want to take it slow and not screw anything up.  We don't need any more set backs.  It was neat that two doctors and a nurse came in to watch Cierra eat and see the progress that she's made over the last few days.  Just seeing the looks on their faces shows you how much they care about their patients.  I believe I saw her nurse wipe away a tear.

I actually heard Dr. Kelly tell my sister that she doesn't think C will come home with the traech in, she's doing that well breathing on her own.  She is being given freedom from the machine for three hours in the am and three in the pm now, and she is breathing on her own all the time, which is good, because I don't know how many times that damn tube popped off when we were  playing.......

Speech therapy left it at "small bites of soft foods that she likes" (applesauce, banana)  which apparently translates into nacho cheese.  Tom came back from one of the taco places with lunch for him and Kate and CeCe went wild when she saw the bag.  Out popped the tube, off came the finger thingy, and she was heading out of bed!  So Tom gave her small globs and she was crazy for it!

Cierra is moving over to rehab at Miller Dwan (just a sky walk away) on Monday.  She has an intensive therapy schedule that really limits visiting time now.  Weekdays no visitors before 3:30, and Sat not before 1:30.  Sunday is a free day.  This does not jive well with Aunties schedule, but all that matters is getting her home.  If I don't see her for a bit, I don't see her. 

Cmonster is also scheduled for a  (dang it I never remember the right lingo) tummy tube to be put in on Friday.  It's a feeding tube, to supplement her nutrition if she isn't eating/drinking well.  My sister has high hopes that C will show them she doesn't need it.  If they had only seen her go after that cheese...  :) 

So things are going well.  I've written it down and jinxed it I'm sure, but it's so refreshing to have something positive to report!  She isn't as strong as she was, but she's getting back to her old self.  They don't believe in tie downs at rehab, she will have a full time nurse.  (cause that's worked so well) So we'll see how that all works out. 

Eggsactly

I am afraid of eggs.  It's just one of those weird things that makes up who I am. :)  Let me explain.

When I was a youngster, back in the BD (before David) days, my father was the one who always got up with us in the morning.  He packed the lunches that my Mom made the night before, made sure we were moving on time, and made our breakfast.  It's that last part that scarred me for life.  Well, at least I will still eat eggs.  My sister wont get anywhere near them, unless it's an omelet and the eggs better be done.

My dad would make us soft boiled (gag) eggs.  I can not abide runny, snotty (gag) eggs.  To this day, if I notice anything wibbling on an egg, I am done.  He also was a wiz with toast.  Swap, swap, with the butter knife, and wherever it hit was where it got and that was it.  He tried.......

My Mom made fried eggs and bacon every Sunday morning, and for the most part I would eat them, she could get the whites cooked through without cooking the yolk, and I loved them!  My ex would try, but there was always a wibble, and I wouldn't eat it, and he'd get ornery.  So I stuck to scrambled or omelets.

Then along came The Brown Eyed Man, and he can cook a fried egg to perfection!  He even taught me how, and for the most part now I can too.

That brings us to my other issue with eggs.  I am afraid of "real" eggs.  I don't know why.  You know, the brown colored eggs that come right from the farm.   I guess I am so used to the white eggs that I didn't want to chance it.  A patient brought in some eggs for the gals at the office the other day and after telling her that I was afraid she brought me an egg six pack to try.  I brought them out to the Brown Eyed Man last weekend and he fried em up just right. ( I wouldn't touch them.......ugh I have problems......) They were absolutely delicious! 

So now I am on the list for fresh eggs, and I am no longer (mostly) afraid of eggs.  Unless, of course, they wibble.  (gag)