Intention vs. Resolution

Like everyone else, I have made my fair share of resolutions for the incoming new years of my life. That all stopped, maybe ten years ago? It could be longer. What's the point? I'm not going to do it anyway. I'm so stubborn that I won't even listen to myself..... 

A few years back I started celebrating the winter solstice. I'm mildly into that kind of thing, I think the rituals are cool.  I would consider myself a spiritual person, who is (or tries to be) in tune with nature, so it fits. On the evening of December 21st, when we burn the Yule log, it is a time to set your intentions for the coming year. So, same thing right? Actually, no. Intention holds a more powerful meaning, to me anyway. When I write my intention(s)on a piece of paper for the coming year, they are things I am firm on doing. I couldn't tell you what I wrote in 2023, but my life has taken a big swing, so the follow through worked. 

I will probably never forget what I wrote this year, but I'm not telling. I talked over the incident with my "Guru" Preston, (my nephew) and he said to keep it between me and the Universe. This is what happened.  Picture it, Northern Wisconsin, 2024......

We had just returned home from Christmas with The BEM's family. He wanted to move the small firepit to the front yard for the winter season and set about doing that. I made sure he didn't forget the Yule log I had picked out, and I went in to feed the cats and write my intentions. I wrote three very unrelated things on the paper, then I shook some cinnamon (for prosperity) and nutmeg (protection) on it, folded it up, and headed outside. 

The Brown Eyed Man had the fire set up, and I popped the lighter out of my pocket, and got her going.  There wasn't much of a wind, so it was pretty easy. Once the fire was started, I tucked my little paper into the middle and sat down on my chair on the porch of the shed, to visualize my intentions while watching the fire creep closer to them. The fire reached its peak, and the little paper burned quickly. I kid you not, and I have a witness, the minute it burned up the entire fire went out. Boom. Just like that. There was no wind. 

The Brown Eyed Man and I both kind of jumped with a start. He said, "What the...?" and I asked if he had ever seen a fire do that before. His answer was no, and I haven't either. Bonfires normally go out in more of a gradual way, and you can tell when you need to move to add fuel to the flame to keep it alive.  I sat there staring for a moment or two, and then I said, "Accepted? Denied? Get your affairs in order???"

Later that night I told Preston what happened, and his take on it, was that something accepted my intentions and shut it down firmly before anything could be added or changed. We also agreed it was best to keep what I wrote between me, and the universe. He didn't even want me to tell him.

So tonight, I make no New Years resolutions, because I already have shifted a few things, and I INTEND to keep it that way. 

If you make resolutions tonight, or you don't, I wish you a very Happy New Year.  Please know that no matter what, you are enough, as you are, right now in this moment! Good-bye 2024, thank you for the lessons learned.

Cocoa and Memories

 Christmas this year has been going on since before the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers were eaten.  Turkey day was late on the calendar, and our first get together was early.  I eagerly popped the little tree up, in the hopes that this year our cat, Gracie (2) would let it stay that way. (she has) I had crocheted the most amazing giant rubber duck for the youngest guest, and I was so excited to give it to her! I also made a red and white scarf for it. 

Our friends, and also neighbors down the road, have become like family to us.  Their youngest sometimes slips and call me Grandma, and the oldest calls me Auntie on the regular, which is certainly fine with me. The kids come over to play from time to time, and their dad is like a son to the Brown Eyed Man.  If you saw them together, you would think he WAS the Brown Eyed Man Jr. Their Mom is very crafty, and likes to read, so we are never at a loss for things to talk about!  

This year there were some homemade cocoas included in the gift they gave us! The other night I tried White Chocolate, and I thanked Steph again, telling her how good it was, and that it was my favorite hot chocolate ever, even though I hadn't tried the others yet. Yesterday afternoon felt like a good time for a hot cocoa break, and I decided to give the plain old chocolate a try.  When I opened it, it smelled like the cocoa frosting my Grandma Meys used to make. MMMMmmmm I was eager to try the cocoa.  When I did, I got the surprise of my life.  It was identical to the hot chocolate my dad used to make for us, on the stove, when we were kids.  Nothing I've had since that time has matched it.  Nothing.  I was instantly transported back to my parents' pumpkin orange kitchen, with the avocado green appliances.  It was 1970 something, and we had just all returned from the local outdoor ice-skating rink. The three of us, (Davy, number 4, would have been small in this memory.) plus friends were crammed at the table, talking and laughing, waiting for Dad to finish up the hot chocolate he had made for us. 

It's something how a smell, sound, or a taste, can bring us right back to our childhood.  I've worked really hard over the years to create fun memories for the kids in my life, blood related, or not. Cocoa costs almost nothing, but those kiddo's who coming running through here in the summertime always ask for it, until I remind them there are popsicles (freezies) in the fridge. I never thought about it, until this very moment.  When I think about traditions, and making memories, I always give my Mom the credit for instilling that in me and making our holidays so much fun. Dad was there too though, on the outskirts of it for sure, and I always think of him on the 4th, because he really loved setting off fireworks, and finding the best spot to watch the big ones.  I had forgotten about he cocoa and the skating.  That, my friends, is a New Years memory.  Stay tuned, and Steph, thanks for the cocoa! 

In The Meantime

I feel like the time between Christmas and New Years is like a pause, the "meantime" if you will. A space where the year slows before saying good-bye. I am normally working during this time, but it's still hard to know the date, let alone the day of the week. If I am on vacation, which I happen to be this year, I have no idea which way is up. 

 I held pretty firm with my weight loss during the holiday season, but in the "meantime" I don't seem to care. I'm not pigging out, just enjoying treats and cooking some of the things I've avoided, but love. Salad is waiting for me when I'm ready to get back to it. I've had a vegetable or two. 

 I'm sitting here at 9pm, writing in my jammies. Yep, the jammies I have had on all day. I think I'll be wearing jammies all weekend. Oh wait, we're going out for dinner tomorrow, so I guess not. Oh well, I can wear them, shower and go for dinner, and put another pair on when I get home! In "the meantime" it is important to be cozy.

 I have gotten some laundry done, dishes washed, dried, and put away, and a bit of clutter cleaned up, so at least I'm being somewhat productive. Not as much as I had hoped, but at least it's something. It's raining and gloomy out too, so that doesn't help. We would really have had a nice snowstorm if the temps were where they should be. As it is, the yard is flooded, and the snow we had is gone. It will all turn to glare ice in a few days when the temps go back to closer to normal. "The meantime" is better (in my opinion) with fun winter activities! Sledding, skiing, ice skating, and then hot cocoa afterwards. Well, I put some cocoa in my coffee this morning......

 I've listened to quite a bit of my audio book today too, "The Giver of Stars" by Jojo Moyes. Good story about some strong women. Highly recommend. I like to listen while I crochet, and I also finished the cuffs on Taters Christmas sweater (just a little late) and one pocket. I started a birthday present for Leah too, and reorganized my yarn stash. Maybe I haven't been totally unproductive today after all! It's hard to tell in "the meantime".

 My traditional holiday decorating begins mid-December, and I'm loathed to put it away New Year's Day. This year, perhaps because it has been up since the minute Thanksgiving ended, I've had enough of it. I thought about taking it down this evening while The Brown Eyed Man hangs out with his buddy at the garage, but instead I decided to make it cozy and dark in here, with just the tree and the candles. If nothing else, "the meantime" is cozy.

 I'm trying to watch "The Holiday", but the internet is being kind of a ..... today. When I'm finished writing this I'll try again, or go back to my book, and enjoy the comforting silence of "the meantime". Whatever you're up to, or not as the case may be, during this "meantime" between holidays, I hope that you take some time to slow down and enjoy the cozy. comfy silence.

The Queen's Corner: Christmas Calendar

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500 Days of Writing

Good Morning! Only two more sleeps to Christmas! I stopped in this morning to write about "Goovermas", or "Sister Christmas", which my sister and I will celebrate today, but when I popped open the blog I noticed a number that I hadn't seen before. 499 I have written four hundred and ninety nine blog posts since 2010. How on earth is that possible? Think of how many there would be if I actually had written semi consistently all this time. I'm trying to change my mindset from, "I'm going to be a writer" to, "I am a writer." That stat definitely helps! My mind immediately kicked into fast forward mode. What to write about? I'm not spending one minute of this milestone on anything political. An old fashioned Christmas story? Eh? I have plenty of those in the archives, I could set up attatchments to them at the end. Goovermas? Sister Christmas? Winter Solstice, and a very strange thing that happened?(that one is definitely coming) There's no way to work through all the scramble in my head to decide which one deserves the honor of being number 500. I still have to get ready to go out into this day. I have Sister Christmas, coffee with Patsy,(that's an upcoming blog also) then work from three until at least nine. I have nothing profound to say about this milestone, except thank you. Thank you for reading, especially for those of you that have been on the entire journey. If you haven't read my earlier blogs,they start out with a lot of online dating nonsense, and the earlier days of The Blogger and The Brown Eyed Man. (Holy crap, I might have just titled a book right there.) Throw in some stories about growing up in the 1970's (GenX O.G.and proud of it!)and just general everyday life and lessons I had learned at that point. I would highly recommend checking it out! I think I'm going to give it a re-read this holiday season, to mark where I've been, and how far I've come along. Have a wonderful Merry Christmas my friends! Tomorrow I'll re-post my Christmas Past stories, today I have to get my feet on the ground to celebrate the present!

Ring The Bells

 Every year, a few days before Christmas, I re-post this quote from Leonard Cohen.  It speaks to me so deeply.  

It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to chuck it in the fuck it bucket if you really aren't feeling it, and maybe try again next year, or not. There really are no rules. I think we're raised to feel that there are specific holiday goals to achieve, and we are further conditioned by all the holiday programs, commercials, and Christmas decor tossed in our face everywhere we go beginning in October, and I'm here to reassure you that there are absolutely not. You are free to celebrate in your own style, on your own terms.  

Adversely, if you are deep in the depths of grief, but you feel the urge to celebrate, that's ok too!  Grief is a weird thing.  After we lost Cece I totally scrapped Thanksgiving.  We stayed home and had a turkey breast with some store-bought sides. The Brown Eyed Man was in heaven. I only wanted outside lights at Christmas that year,  but I did set up just the tree as we got closer to the day.  I took it all down immediately after.  I'm sure the kids still came over for Goovermas, because I would never, ever, ever short them on anything.  No matter how I felt. Now that I think on it, they came for New Years Eve, and we had a bonfire, and burned pages of the calendar, talking about the year that was, and how we felt about it.  (Something they wanted to do. ) We ate good food and played our favorite games.  I'll write about Goovermas in another blog, it deserves its own space. 

In my opinion,  celebrating with little kids (although my nieces and nephews are young adults now) changes things a bit.  They deserve to have good Christmas memories, period.  That doesn't mean breaking the bank, and it doesn't mean going all out. It means doing what you can with what you have, with a smile on your face, and the love you have for them in your heart. They do not need, or deserve to carry the weight of your grief, trauma, or bad holiday memories, period. If they, themselves are struggling with something, give them the grace to choose what they want to do.

" There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

My Mom made Christmas magic, and I'm sure she was tearing her hair out. Those memories are where I've spent a few (thankfully) Christmas Days over the years, until the kids came over, and then I put on my big girl panties and hopefully made the most wonderful memories for them. 

So be kind to yourself, and if you are struggling, please seek the help you need. 

The One Where It Turns Political

 Good morning! Santa arrived early, and I'm coming to you from my Christmas present, a brand-new laptop.  I have decided to get serious about my writing, which includes blogging and a couple of other projects, so I needed the tool to do so!  This morning, when I started to rant on a Facebook post, I realized that I have a much better platform for that. :) It also gives anyone who is tired of my opinion, but likes to follow along for the comedy, or just because I'm cute, the opportunity to scroll on by.  I'm going to try and limit the drive by politics on that platform, when I can resist the urge to do so.  Be forewarned, if you pop in here from now on, you'll be getting the full force of my opinion. 

Can you believe that I haven't had a computer for five or six years??  I handle my life on my phone, and I can blog with the phone too, but it is very tedious. This goes much faster, as I can type almost as fast as I think. I also don't have access to comments and other stats on the phone ap. Specifically, the stat that tracks views of the blog since I began to write in 2010. "The Queen's Corner" has had over 36,000 views.  Wow!  That is exciting and humbling all at the same time.  I suspect some folks who don't know me personally are lured in by the title, perhaps thinking Queen has a different meaning.  In this case, no.  It's my family nickname, well deserved, cherished, and accurate. 

Wasn't this supposed to be political?  That's how my mind works, seven different directions at once.  I wanted to write about the laptop the other day, but didn't find (ok, make) the time, so that blog was still simmering on the backburner when I became irritated about the incoming regime this morning.  Now I've lost steam, but I still have a thought or two. Here goes!

Wait your turn donald, (small d intentional) or is it elon? (again, intentional small d) I'm a little confused about who was elected.  You begin Circus 2.0 in January.  

Dear reader, please remember, for the most part when the ranting and tweeting start it's all nonsense. -Meant to confuse, I think, or maybe they are just confused themselves and need Civics 101.  I should teach a course, "That's not how that works." The USA is a democracy. There are policies, procedures, laws, and hopefully enough good people in Congress to stand up for what is right.  The Republicans have a real opportunity here (the actual GOP, not MAGA) to stand up, take control, and get some good work done for the people who elected them.  They could easily just keep the clown in the circus, and he'd be the lame duck that he in fact is. Would that hurt their future in politics?  Nope. If I was on any one of their political teams, I would be shouting from the rooftops that this was their moment to shine. Take the reins, work across the aisle, ignore the quacking from the White House, and get back to work for the American people. 

Would I agree with the policies of a GOP controlled Congress?   Hahahahahaha nope. However, it would be nice to be able to argue policy, instead of having constant battles about morality, empathy, and nonsense. I'm tired of trying to explain why you should care about other people.  I'm tired of the hypocrisy of people being "religious" and not caring about their fellow human beings. Im beyond tired of the cesspool of humanity that represents MAGA. If I can't pass a background check, I cannot do my job.  Why should you be able to???

This country was built on checks and balances, to keep the branches of government fairly equal. It's true, that we are tilting in a wrong, and in my opinion very dangerous direction, but We the People, are the stop gap here.  The quackers are hopeful that the nonsense will make us numb. Don't fall for it.  I'm not saying pay rabid attention to the news, you'll go bonkers.  I'm saying find a couple reliable, responsible sources (no, that is not FOX news, just stop it) and just keep an eye on the bobber. For heaven sake, speak up, speak out, donate to the causes you believe in. We CAN hold the line. We HAVE to. 

The Life of a Hooker

Sorry to disappoint, but this blog is about crocheting! 

I grew up watching my Mom, her sister in law Aunt Dorothy, and my Paternal Grandmother crochet. Grandma made us beautiful blankets for our twin beds, and Mom made us ponchos and a ripple afghan that was on our couch for years. My Aunt made me a couch cover when I got married, and she made "Piggy" whom my brother Jerry (54) still has. I know they made many more things, but these are the few I remember. 

I asked my Mom to teach me to crochet, and I learned how to do a chain, but that's about it. She claimed she didn't have the patience to teach me. (She had been a nun, and a teacher, so add that one to my therapy list.) I believe my Aunt taught me how to single crochet, and I made a little outfit for a stuffed toy. When I worked as a childcare teacher in my early twenties another teacher used to crochet at nap time. She taught me enough to make a shell stitch baby blanket. All new babies in my life for the next ten years received one of those! I also made the blanket that still is on my bed today (30 years later) with the mile a minute pattern. 

That was the extent of my adventures in hooking, until the pandemic hit in 2020. I began teaching myself other stitches, and creating lapghans that I would randomly give to people. I also did several afghans. In 2023 I learned to do amigurumi, (stuffed animals etc) more specifically gnomes, and I've probably made over 50. I have even designed a few of my own that were Star Wars themed. 

I always have at least three projects going. I just love to create, and see what I can come up with! I can't share a picture of my most impressive project to date, because it's a Christmas present for my two year old Great Nephew. I wanted to do something, but I couldn't find a pattern, so I figured it out myself by following a picture on a graph. I started over no less than 5 times, but the final result is worth it! 

I am currently working on a sweater for my niece for Christmas, and for some reason I put the hook through the high bun that is in my hair to hold it for a minute. Three hours later, I got up from a chair on the porch and heard a metal clinking noise as something hit the deck. I couldn't imagine what happened. Yes, the hook had fallen out. I didn't believe it! How had it stayed that long? While it was in my hair I had cooked and cleaned for a Christmas gathering, walked all over the yard with the dogs, including way down to the mailbox, and somehow I didn't lose it! If I had, I never would have remembered that the hook had been in my bun in the first place, and I would have lost my marbles tearing this place apart looking for it. Then the drama of remembering what size it was and scrambling to see if I have another. My niece is coming next weekend, and I am no where near done. 🙃 Whew! 

My first adult sweater! The one I'm working on is the same, but in in greens, and I basically have a vest at the moment. Time to get hooking!!

Be Who You Are!     

  Auntie Jo