Day One

Very original title, I know. Hell day would be more appropriate, but I did survive. The worst day is the first, and now it's in the review mirror. It would have to be a Saturday, so it was my first Sat night alone in awhile too. How did I spend the day? Not crying in bed like I wanted to, that's for sure.

The lovely neighbors above me woke me up at 6am, so I indulged myself for about two hours in bed thinking about our relationship. I can't say dwelling on what went wrong, because for once, I don't have anything I wish I could take back or do differently, except for following my four month rule, which I will explain in a later blog. So I crawled out of bed at 8:00, turned the coffee on, sat down at the computer and ran into an old friend on facebook. We spent an hour or so catching up. I haven't seen him since High School and it was awesome to reconnect!

I decided around 11 it was time for a nap, and slept for about 15 minutes before the neighbors were at it again. Then I just lay there missing what a normal Sat had become, and remembered that I know how to do this, because I've done it so many times before. You have to make new routines, plan out what you are going to do. Thought back to what weekends were before Leon and started to make a plan. Honestly, you have to retrain yourself or you'll just sit there bawling about what you "would be doing right now if he were here".

Then the phone started ringing, neighbor in #2 complaining about neighbors in #3. We'll see if we can't get them evicted, mua ha ha. We've done it before. Then my Aunt Pat called to report in on a family funeral, but had heard about my situation so we talked about that first. It's nice to still have ONE older family member to comfort you, cause really that's what you need.

Then I got myself up and dressed and got the AVON order (yes I'm an AVON lady) processed, and cleaned the kitchen including washing the floor! Easter dinner with my siblings and their families is at my house, so I have a lot to do. Went over to my sister's house and babysat my niece for a few hours, and that really took my mind off of things. She has down syndrome and it puts things in perspective, plus the love she gives you is amazing. As I rocked in the living room chair with her in my lap doing "This little Piggy" for the 643rd time I wondered how many times over her lifespan, almost five years, I had done this for therapy. The same applies to my other nieces, and nephew. So I noted that in my how to survive manual.

Must note that my sister is the best sister in the world. She brought me a big mac and fries, which I would NOT have gone out and gotten for myself. It did hit the spot! Mc fries are magic.

Got home around eight and there sat the Netfix movie I had picked out for our Sat night movie fest. Journey to the Center of the Earth. Saw the little red envelope in the mailbox and lost it. So I thought, well...I'll just watch it. Then I remembered the plan and thought back to what I used to do. Really? Do I really want to chat on the Internet with people I don't know? That is what I used to do on a dateless Sat night, or hang out at my sisters if her hubby was working. Or I would peruse dating sights, but that is not an option right now. Hmmm..... I could go to bed. I would like to curl up and sleep for 15 hours straight, but I'm not falling into that pattern. I could read, but my thoughts are bound to wander. Ok, Internet chat here I come.

I must say that I enjoyed myself. It is nice to share thoughts anonymously, no strings ( I don't mean cyber sex by the way) no harm, no foul. I met a few interesting people, and even did add one to my messenger to consider later. He lives in Canada, and if Sarah Pahlin ever gets into the White House, I'm going to need friends in Canada. I plan to live there.

So I entertained myself until about 11:30 and then called it a night. Lost it once more right before bed, because honestly this is NOT the way I want to be spending my Sat nights. I would much rather be curled up on the couch with a movie and the worlds best popcorn, Sam at our feet, knowing this is the most right my life has ever been. Life doesn't always give you what you want, so the key is how to make the very best out of what you have.