A Few Of My Favorite Things! (That are 50)

The year 1969 was a pretty big deal.  The USA put a man on the moon!  I have no personal memory of this, as I wasn't around yet, but I've watched it on news programs quite a few times over the years. Thinking back to the lack of technology in the 70's, I can't even imagine the awe one would feel watching a man walk on the moon. There was also a small gathering called Woodstock, but again, I wasn't born, so I have only second hand knowledge.

The things I do know, and love, that turn 50 this year:

First and foremost, Sesame Street!  I grew up on Sesame, then it continued to be on in the house for my younger siblings. In my teens I watched it while I babysat, then during my first full time job as a nanny, and sometimes during my earlier childcare teaching years.  This past summer, while working as a PCA for my niece Cece I got to enjoy it all over again!  Although now it isn't on PBS, it's on HBO, and that's sad.  Every child should have the opportunity to grow up with this wonderful, educational program!

Speaking of Sesame, PBS itself was created in 1969.  Mr. Rogers Neighborhood (my other childhood favorite), and Masterpiece Theatre were two of the first programs.  Masterpiece is still going strong today!  Love me some Downton Abbey. 

The Brady Bunch turns 50 this year, and although by the time I was old enough to watch the show it was in re-runs, I enjoyed watching them over and over.  Peter was such a hottie!  Scooby Doo is another childhood favorite, and they were also created in 1969. 

Nutter Butters, one of my favorite cookies to dunk, and treat to share with Cece, turn 50 this year, so do FunYuns, and Fla-Vor-Ice.  They are two of my childhood favorites, and there are usually Fla-Vor-Ice (freezies) in my freezer for the kids, or the kids at heart who live here.  Blue or pink are my personal favorites. 

I love reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to the kids in my care, and I had no idea it was written in 1969.  I guess I assumed it was newer, because I hadn't read it during my childhood, and we had a pretty big library in our house.  I've been reading it to preschool/toddler classes since 1989.

One of my favorite sing-a-long songs was written in 1969.  "Sweet Caroline" (BA-BA-BA) by Neil Diamond.  If you didn't sing the BA-BA-BA part, we can't be friends.

Some of my favorite people were born in 1969, and I have spent my entire life growing up with many of them.  There's a core group that has gone all the way from K-12, and I am blessed to say that we are still friends to this day. Facebook helps a lot with that.

 I spent the day yesterday at my childhood home (Thank you to my brother Jerry and his wife Jenny!) having a family birthday party, that had the exact format, menu and music that my parents would have thrown for each of our birthdays in the 70's.  I miss my folks all the time, but especially right now, as I, myself, turn 50.  It's the only thing that snags me up a little bit about hitting this decade.The people who are not here with me.  Otherwise, I intend to rock it!

To me growing older means gaining wisdom, and a sense of understanding about life, and I'm all about that. I've made enough mistakes to make smarter choices, so here's hoping I will continue to do so. (You never can tell......) 

So here's to 50!  Life is what you make it, and I intend to continue to fill mine with friends, family, love, and laughter!

"Baby" Mo

THE magnificent Mo has turned two!  The kids that I taught in Preschool always refer to him as "baby" Mo, so a lot of the time that's what I call him, although he is a huge sixteen pound cat!  What can I say?  He likes his treats, and you best just hand them over when he wants them if you know what's good for you.  I'm trying to just give him two when he asks, because he asks a lot.

Mo is two! He is a gorgeous cat.

I'm not really a cat person, but I've raised four now, and this little bugger is the worst thing on four feet.  He will take pictures right off of the wall, and he pulls the curtains down about once every two weeks. I can't put any kind of decorating that is breakable out, because it WILL be destroyed.  He opens cupboards and rummages around in them, and he can open drawers too.  I have to keep my end table drawers taped shut or he will empty them out.  That wasn't such a big deal until we got a puppy who would eat things.  One of Mo's favorite things to do is toss our stuff down to Loki.  At least now that Loki is older he doesn't eat random things, but he will for sure hide it somewhere, and possibly chew it up, depending on what it is

Hmm...what's this?

If I have to correct Mo's behavior I always get the squirt bottle.  If I try to remove him from the kitchen table, or the island, or my desk, I'm going to get scratched or bit.  If I swat at him I'm going to get clawed for sure.  When The Brown Eyed Man yells at him to get down, Mo does right away, but he walks away sassing, and it is hilarious! Otherwise, he is a quiet kitty.

Time to clean Mom's desk

Mo Mo isn't a lovey kitty.  You run the risk of a swipe even reaching to pet him.  It's best to do that on his terms when he comes to you, and even then there's no guarantee.  He sleeps with me most nights, and at least finally stopped attacking my feet while I slept.  There was a period of about three months, right before Loki came home, where Mo was evicted from the bedroom.  The only time he is really lovey is in the middle of the night.  He wakes me up for pets sometimes, but even then he will claw me if I'm not doing it right, or falling back to sleep. 

Squirt bottle time!

 Milkie and Mo still spar from time to time, but not like when he was little.  Jake and Mo were tight pals, and he taught Mo how to be a good dog.  When Loki arrived that changed.  Jake and Mo don't seem to have much to do with each other anymore.  Loki and Mo are pals, and they play, but as Loki gets older that has settled down.  Mo can hold his own in a battle with the 84 pound pup for sure, but Milkie (who is front declawed) can still kick Mo's butt.

Make me get down and I'll knock over the stool....again.

I think that as time goes by he will improve.............. oh well. We love him anyway, little jerk.

The Back Burner

Today was a free day.  I could choose to work, or I could choose to play, but I chose to stay home and have a "me" day.  Well, it was more of a necessity that didn't pan out, but here I am.  So I set a couple of goals:

1. read something
2. write something (here we are)
3. clean something (boo)
4. garden

Later on I'll have an early BBQ with The Brown Eyed Man, and then head up to help with the end of day on my best friend's rummage sale.

This subject, "The Back Burner", was a planned blog, and probably the next one I was getting to.  Today while I achieved goal number 3, and was cleaning out a drawer (one of many) I found a letter that I wrote to myself.  "For Joanie to be opened on her 45th birthday."  Uh.....whoops.  I wondered how long that was sitting in there??  Turns out I wrote it just after my 40th birthday.   I'm four and a half years late, so I figured I better open it! 

The first part kind of rambles along, which we all know I tend to do on occasion..... then the next part talks about some hopes and dreams.  Nothing big, but number one on the list was getting out of the YMCA, which I did.  It's funny, I think of that often, mostly how unhappy I was, and it really wasn't a fabulous organization to work for, but there are worse things.  Hindsight is everything, and I actually realize now that I had it pretty good, for the most part.

I hoped, in the letter, that I accomplished a few things that I am proud of. (check)  I hoped that I was healthy (check), and in a healthy relationship (check....me into the nuthouse, but yes)  I hoped that I still maintained a good relationship with family and friends, and to fix it immediately if I didn't. (check)  Then it goes on to say this:

"The most important thing is that whatever I am doing, wherever this world has led me, I am HAPPY.  So that is the only question I pose to you today.  Are you happy?" 

I really think that things cross our path when they are meant to.  If I found this a year ago I would be pretty upset.  In the blog before this one I talked about everything being put on the back burner, and it has been.  Anything that's important to me anyway.  I was too tired, too irritated, too, too, too, to get to the things I enjoyed.  I chalk a lot of that up to mentalpause, some of it possibly to anxiety. but most of it to being mentally exhausted. 

I need my own time, I need to write, I need to read, I need to be out in the world just being one with nature.  I need quiet time.  If I don't get these things everything else in my life suffers.  I also need to be productive, and whatever I'm doing needs to matter.  I happen to be very good with kids.  Especially children who need a little extra, but that takes a toll, it really does.  You bond tight to these kids and it drains you.  If you can't recharge, it doesn't help anyone.

When I went back into childcare just about four years ago I told the owner and the director that I would love to work for them, I wanted to be a help, but I did not want to teach. Yes, I love teaching.  Yes, I'm pretty darn good at it, but I can't do my best work, and that's helping these little ones with "extra" if I have the other responsibility. I can also be a solid assistant for an overloaded teacher, and help guide new staff along the way.   That was my intention.  That is not how it went.  I assisted for about six months, then more and more I was just put in preschool as the lead, until it just became mine.  No one ever asked.

So last year at this time I took matters into my own hands and offered to PCA for my then twelve year old niece CC, who has down syndrome.  My sister and her husband were looking for help, and I decided that if someone wanted to pay me to play with Cierra, well........OK.  So I cut my summer hours at the center and left early on Tuesdays and Fridays to hang with CC.  I also was out for doctor appointments.  Then in the fall I switched to teaching Preschool Monday-Friday from 8:30-2:30, and then went to hang with CC til five on most days.  I was also off for most of her appointments.  I was much happier, but now I was working two jobs most days, and exhausted.  Not from being a PCA.  Taking care of CC is nothing compared to teaching preschool.  Nothing.

This spring the opportunity for more summer hours with CC popped up, and instead of hiring another PCA to do hours too, I took all of them.  I requested a leave of absence for the summer, and then have offered to come back in the fall as an assistant, working 10-2 Monday through Friday, but off on days when CC doesn't have school.  I'll try and do hours with CC at more meaningful times, not just hanging out every day after school, unless they need me for something, so I don't burn out.  I don't care if we do overnights or Saturdays. I am grateful that the center accepted my offer, and I am actually going to be going in to do breaks or whatever they need from 10-2 occasionally during July and August.  (The Jetta doesn't pay for itself.....)

So I "retired" from preschool on June 7th, and did a few break days the following week.  These last few weeks have just been with CC, and it has been awesome.  My soul just needed a break.  I'm writing again, I'm reading again, I come home with tons of energy for gardening and household things that need to be done.  I'm not crabby.  I probably haven't threatened to kill the Brown Eyed Man in a week or so. I feel like next week when I return to the center to hang out with the kiddos a couple days I will be a better caregiver to the ones who really need me.  I will actually HAVE something to give.

So yes, to my 40 year old self, I am happy, but more importantly, I am content.  I am at peace for the first time in a LONG time.  I'm no longer putting myself, and the things I need on the back burner.

Jetta!

I embraced 2019 with a lot of hope, and excitement for a new year.  My friend Anna was my secret Santa at the daycare this year, and one of the things she gave me was a memory jar.  You write down special things all year long on little slips of paper, put them in the jar to keep, and then read them on the following New Year's Eve.  I've always wanted to do one, but it got shoved to the back burner, like pretty much everything else in my life that I enjoy. (more on that later)

2019 did not start off how I had hoped.  The jar sat empty for quite awhile, and then it just had a few notes in it.  The winter was hard, work was stressful, we almost lost Cece to illness again.  Then I realized that the love of my life was going to have to leave me.

Yes.  The Mitsubishi Eclipse that I have been driving around since 2007 (it was a 2000) suddenly had a big oil leak, and too many other problems to list.  It's just a car, so no big deal, right?  Wrong.  Very wrong.  Every year I say, I just want to make it through one more winter with her, and every year I did, but when the time came I just couldn't stand the thought of being without her, and another year would go by. I was a wreck when I handed her over to the dealer, and I'm not really ever a wreck about much. She was kind of a representation of my freedom/independence. Let me try and explain.

To the world she was just an old car.  Most of the black paint had faded (factory defect that I couldn't ever afford to fix) and she was starting to rust.  The exhaust had a small hole for awhile, now there were at least two, and you always knew when I was arriving.  She was 19 years old, and 12 of those years were spent hauling me, Leon, the kids (Auntie, you need a bigger car.), and all of the pets that I have owned in my life.

Stuck in the ice a few weeks before we parted.

To me, she was everything.  In 2007, I found myself newly divorced, on my own, starting over again, and really not wanting to be. I was driving a green Ford Escort that I hated, and had always hated.  It was reliable enough in town, I had owned it seven or eight years, but I wouldn't trust it out of town anymore. Online dating was just becoming a thing in my life, and I met someone in Two Harbors, so I needed a newer set of wheels.  (THAT is a whole other story that has never been in this blog.)  I wasn't really sure how I was going to get a loan, or make the payment, now that I had an apartment to pay for, but as usual, I managed.

One morning I drove up to work, at that time I was still teaching preschool for the Y, and this beautiful, shiny, black sporty looking car was parked in a parent spot with a for sale sign.  I went running into the building, stopping at every room to see who owned that car!  It happened to be one of my students' Mom, and she was selling it because she was pregnant again, and swinging a car seat out of that two door would be pretty difficult.  I asked if she had a few minutes for a test drive and she flipped me the keys, saying "Go ahead, take her for a spin."  I sat in that car, and I knew.  I didn't care what she wanted for it, this was my car and I was going to have it.

In a strange twist of fate my Aunt Mary had passed away a bit earlier, and I was co-executor of her estate.  A large sum of money was in my checking account to handle some of her affairs,so when the bank looked at me for the loan that is what they saw, so of course they had no problem lending me the money for the car. 

I believe it was the Friday before Memorial Day Weekend.  I remember cruising in my new car,  windows down, radio blasting, wind in my hair, no one to answer to but myself.  The way I used to prefer it before my X.  The way I really am at my core.  I was 37 years old, and I still really knew nothing about life, or myself.  I was standing on the edge of figuring a lot of it out.  It was a hard time for me, but I fought through it to to rediscover who I am.  The Eclipse took me through that journey.  It stood as a symbol of how far I had come, I guess.

 I went to the dealership when I realized that there was one more major problem to be fixed, and I just couldn't justify the expense anymore.  It wasn't planned, it was just kind of "OK, today we are doing this." The sales dude, Nick, and I looked at a few cars that he thought might be in my price range.  They had sold most of the VW deal cars the weekend prior, but there were a few on the lot, and a few others.  As much as I needed to get a new car, I wasn't going to settle for something that didn't call to me, ever again. (see above Ford Escort) So we were walking back towards the building because nothing really grabbed me.  Then she pulled out onto the lot.  All freshly cleaned and shiny.  A 2013 Volkswagen Jetta.  Silver Metallic is the technical name of the color. I looked at Nick, and I said "You did that on purpose."  I knew it was my car. He claimed that he didn't, and he probably didn't, because it was actually cheaper than any of the others we had looked at. :) 

After a very quick test drive, we settled into a few hours worth of wheeling and dealing and paperwork, etc.  All in all I was pleased, but oh so sad.  It should have been a happy time, but I was on the verge of losing it though most of it.  I had to trade the Eclipse in.  I just had to.  I needed to use it toward the purchase, and I wasn't going to bring it home and watch it just sit around here, or have it turned in to a race car.  If I didn't part with it then I couldn't trust myself to actually sell it outright. I would be dragging it with me the rest of my life, like my blankie.  (Yes.......)

So now I tootle around, happy as a clam, in my very comfortable Jetta.  I've hauled myself, Leon, the pets, the kids, (Cece just loves to ride in Auntie's car.) and I am enjoying having a four door reliable vehicle again.  Plus there's a sunroof, AND a moon roof, and a kick ass stereo, so I'm still cool.  Yes I AM Vicki.  The eclipse carried me through some very dark and difficult times, and also some of the happiest of my life.  I'm looking forward to wherever the Jetta is going to take me! 

Loki Poki

I went back to review what I had written last year about the newest edition to our family.  NOTHING??  In my defense, between him, and that demon cat, The Magnificent Mo, I have had a lot on my plate. 

So a year ago last June, this happened:

Loki Poki at 10 weeks. He is a German Shepard/Great Pyrenees mix, the same breed as his new big brother, Jacob Barker.

Who are you??

Loki weighed in at 13 pounds during his first vet check, and he has always been a very healthy, happy boy.  This past year has been exhausting for me, but as time goes by it gets easier and easier.  He is completely border trained, so like Jake, when we are home and outside they just go everywhere with us.  Loki is a very smart boy, and only has to be corrected about something once or twice before he gets it.  When we are gone they stay outside. Jake goes on his run, and Loki hangs out in a large kenneled area.  He has a lot of things to keep him busy in there so he doesn't annoy the neighborhood too much.  He is nothing if not persistent if he wants, or doesn't want something.

It's hard to believe that more than a year has gone by.  The boys had their vet check today, and both are healthy dogs!  Loki is about to graduate to adult dog food, finally.  With large breeds they keep them on puppy food longer.  Jake is a very slim lined 81 pounds, and Loki is a very stocky 84 pounds!  Plus, he isn't done growing yet.  Dr. Becky is very happy with their weight.  Right where they belong.

We see you haz toast........

Jake has never been one for car rides, but he hopped right up into the passenger seat of the Nissan Titan this morning, and Loki (with some coaxing) settled in to the back seat with me.  The boys are home bodies, and that's the first place we've gone together in a year!  I think we'll try a few more outings in the near future, now that we have a vehicle big enough for all of us to be comfy.

Cruisin' with Papa

The Season of The Bear

Living out in the country is a constant battle.  Whether it's the weather, the shoveling, the mowing, or the gardening.  The flooding, detours from said flooding or road construction, or it's squirrels taking the seed and destroying feeders, deer, coyote, and on and on.  It's a never ending struggle with one thing or another.  Each season has it's own unique beauty, and it's own challenges.

Original feeder

We also have The Bear.  Every year near the first of June we have a visitor in the night.  The bird feeder gets raided, the garbage goes over, and thus begins the Season of The Bear.  For the last two years it was a Mom and her three cubs.  The first year she very politely ate the seed and left the feeder, but I forgot it out one night and she absconded with it.  The Brown Eyed Man thought he would come across it somewhere on the property when he mowed, but we never saw it again.  I loved that feeder. The next year she banged up the new feeder, but left it here, and I remembered to bring it in at night after that first time.

"Squirrel proof" feeder

This year I have a new feeder, similar to the first one.  The second one just couldn't stand up to squirrel abuse, which ironically was what it was supposed to do.  I really should just start bringing the feeder inside near the end of May, but after the long, harsh winter my first thought is not that it's almost The Season of the Bear.  I'm more concerned with what I'm growing, and how much work has to be put in to get it done.

The Season of the Bear arrived On the 30th of May, and this bear, a male we're guessing, took down the feeder.  I knew it wasn't the regular Mama, because she isn't so destructive.  The entire feeder was taken apart, and I never did find one of the perches.

Most recent casualty

 Duck tape and a piece of aluminum from a can did the trick, and we're back up and feeding.  The garbage will be staying in the house.  This bear actually also destroyed the suet feeder a few nights later, and has tried to get at the hummingbird feeder.  I guess I'll stop suet feeding until this season passes.  We checked the camera, and it's a lone small bear.  Probably one of the cubs that Mama taught to look for food here.  They always bend the hook, and I bend it back.  It's a crazy looking hook, but it still works.  Note that I've also moved the hook out of the garden, so the bear stop stomping on things!

Good as new.......almost.

The other change that has to be made during The Season of The Bear is the garbage situation.  We do a fair amount of burning, and recycling, so there just isn't that much food garbage that goes out.  In the winter I can go several weeks without bringing the can down the driveway.  In the Season of the Bear the garbage must remain in the house, so the garbage goes down the driveway every week.  Now that I'm writing this I am realizing the can is still at the road.  Oh well, that can wait til morning, where I will probably find it in the ditch and have to climb down to get it.  *sigh*    The Brown Eyed Man is snoring, and I just put on my jams.  The dogs have their good night treat, and that is that for this beautiful country day!

So begins The Season of the Bear, and it lasts about six weeks.  Every time I think it's time to keep the feeder out again, that they must be gone, I've been wrong.  So this time when I feel that, I'm going to wait two more weeks.........and hope we've moved on to the Dog Days of Summer.