Seasons of a Dog

I took our Good Boy Jacob to the vet today. He goes monthly for his Librella shot, which is used in pups with bad hips. Jake has always had bad hips, and I wish this med had been around in his younger days! Jacob was born in the spring. We brought him home mid May, which is the best time (in both our opinions) for a pup. In the springtime of his life his hips were already wonky, but never bothered him, or slowed him down at all. 

In the summer years Jacob s hips didn't visibly affect him, but we started a regimen of glucosamine, condroitin, and fish oil, to keep things limber, and they did. Jake has always been an extremely healthy boy, and we made sure to keep him a healthy weight, knowing those hips would thank us later. In his late summer years we also got him a baby brother,  Loki. Same breed, Great Pyr- German Shep mix, but good, solid hips. Solid. That's a good word to describe Loki. 106 pounds of love, and loyalty. We thought Jake was smart, Loki is smarter, and not as opinionated. Jacob has his own ideas, especially when it comes to listening to me. 

During the fall of his life, we noticed a little tenderness, but no real slow down, and the Dr. prescribed Carprofen,(kinda like ibuprofen for dogs) which he has been on since, along with supplements. Jake and Loki continued their daily play battles, and patrols of the border, and Jake helped Loki  to be a Good Boy too. In fact it wasn't until Jake was somewhere in his 10th year, the Winter of his life, where we started to see a decline. 

Jake is 12 and a half now. Fully into his winter season. I requested a "geriatric appointment" at Librella time this month, because I don't think the once a year physical is good enough when your Good Old Boy is in his final season. The librella was a wonder at first, but the last six weeks have been a backslide, and we are back to square one. We'll continue the shot, to get whatever benefit we can. His carprofin is at its max, so we will add some Gabbapentin as needed. That's about all we can do. Otherwise, he is a healthy, very happy Good Boy.

In this final season, he can get a little goofy at night, but we have a supplement that handles that. He now hates storms, which never bothered him before. His eyes and ears are not what they were, but he's maintaining weight, so that's good. He still only listens when it suits him. We are laser focused on giving him the best Winter we can,  making sure he has the best quality of life possible. When quality comes into question, I'll handle it with a heavy heart, but it's my job. A large dog like Jake usually doesn't live this long, we know how blessed we are. 

Winter, the actual season, is Jacob's very favorite thing. I was suprised that we still had him last winter. I'm just hoping he has another chance to play in the snow. ❤️ 

On Being Me

Every year on my birthday eve I post something on Facebook, and/or write a blog post that briefly encapsulates the year gone by. Since Cece died in October '22, there have been no blog posts, because how could I continue writing about my life, without speaking about this devastating loss, and the struggle to get my head up above the ocean of grief that engulfed me. I'm not sure that I will ever put more than the above into words on a page, but let's just say that it knocked me off my path and into the woods for awhile. 

In mid April of this year, as the earth was waking up from her winter slumber, so was I. It was like I had just been floating on auto pilot for a year and a half, until the day I could not physically get on the floor to play with my Great nephew, Henry.(wlWho just turned two, and now has an 8 month old sister, Ruth!) Then, I woke up. 

I took a hard look in the mirror, and thought, "Who is this fat old lady?" Sorry, but that's what I thought. Then I realized enough was enough. I'm not going to watch life on the sidelines because I have too many aches and pains to play and enjoy it. Yes, that comes with the territory of gaining years, but for the most part that isn't the case here, yet. 

My deep issue is rewarding myself with food. Maybe consoling myself with food is a better way to explain that. You had to do something you didn't like today? That's ok honey, you can have a Big Mac for dinner. So for a year and a half, while floating around in this ocean of grief, I consoled myself with every comfort food available, and as much as I wanted. 

Two pants sizes later, and I was not able get down and play play with Henry. (It's the getting up that's the problem.)I couldn't do a lot of other things either, but I didn't care. Not being able to be an active participant in the kids lives, that kicked my butt into gear. 

I have always been, and I'm sure I will continue to be, a curvy gal, and I'm cool with that. I just needed to make a giant shift, and some lifestyle changes to be a healthier gal, with curves.  

So, how am I doing? Great! Twenty five pounds are gone, and so are those two pants sizes. I can get on the floor and play with the kids, and we even went to the zoo a few weeks back, which I walked without difficulty.  How am I doing it? Counting calories on a free ap, which keeps my portion sizes where they belong, and keeps me accountable to myself. I make better choices, and still have anything i want, in moderation. I have a new scale, and I make myself get on it, because it matters. Now that I can move, I do. Formal exercise gives me gives me hives, (figuratively) so I don't see that happening any time soon. I just want to enjoy the rest of my years in a healthy way. Body and mind. 

So, as I rock in my chair, on my porch, on the last day of 54, I am very proud of myself. My mantra always has been, "Be who you are!" There will be a lot more of that around here, from now on. Inside, and out. ❤️