Hope is a thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings a tune, without the words
And never stops at all.
~Emiliy Dickenson
I have been thinking about how to write this blog for weeks. If I am true to myself, and to my writing, I need to say something. I have always been totally open, and brutally honest about my life and where it goes, because that was the whole point.
Many spring/summer mornings I am awakened by the most annoying sparrow. He sits in the bushes outside my bedroom window (usually at sunrise)and just sings his song at the top of his lungs. You all know how awful this spring has been, but the last two days the temps have finally risen, and this morning I woke up to my little sparrow singing his song! By the end of the summer I'm ready to throw a shoe out the window at him, but this morning I woke up with a smile on my face, and a smile in my heart as well.
I knew it was time to write this, and I finally knew what to say.
Just about a year ago, I agreed to keep most of my personal life just that, personal. I intend to honor my word, so that's where this gets a little tricky. I'm just going to talk about me.
When I was a kid I loved this nursery rhyme.
"Here I am, little jumping Joan. When nobodies with me, I'm always alone."
I loved it, because it had my name in it, and I liked to jump rope. Now it dogs my steps and haunts me, because again, I am alone.
You can take 5 seconds and feel sorry for me, then that's it. Life is so much bigger than my relationship issues, and if it's one thing I know how to do, it's stand on my own and make the best of it.
When I heard the sparrow singing this morning, I immediately thought of the above excerpt from my favorite poem by Emily Dickenson. We have to have hope. Hope that spring will finally arrive, hope that things will work themselves out, and hope that we are strong enough to deal with it when they don't go the way we wanted.
This afternoon I will be spending some time with my other family, Vicki's family. They are having a benefit for her nephew Mitch, who is fighting cancer. Again, it's all about hope. Here is the article on Mitch and his family. If you're in Superior come on down, it's going to be a great time!
So what now? I honestly don't know. Instead of picking up my pack and choosing a path, I'm content to sit by the river and watch it flow for a bit. I'm just going to listen to the little birds sing, and enjoy the sunshine until I have had my fill.
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