What to write about October 2010? I began the month with a career hanging in the balance, but pretty confident in my home life. My "family" consisted of 3 cats, the world's best dog, and two humans. October ended with a career that is looking up, but only myself and one cat, Misty are left in the "family" unit. Pepper, bless him, is lost forever to me. Leon, Sam, and Milky very well may be also.
What happened is too personal and too painful to write about in detail, but it's definitely a new twist for a relationship ending for me. He is my judge, jury, and executioner.....and at this point I have no choice but to accept it. It burns my very soul. When presented with fight or flight I will come out swinging every time, and my hands are tied at my sides. Everything I say falls on deaf ears, but I will keep shouting it from the rooftops. I am innocent! I have done nothing wrong, unless loving someone is considered a crime these days. I deserve a fair trial.
Once again the winds of change are whistlin' round my door step. The ying and the yang that are my life are in play. The good always equals out the bad, and vice versa. I hold desperately onto the hope that God has better things in store for me, all the way around. While I don't practice a formal religion any more, I am still very in tune with my faith. I think it's just time to let Him handle it all. I'm beyond done trying.
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