The Dating Scene

So.... I decided not to go out with the neighbor down the street. He isn't my type at all, and I would just be doing it to fill a void. That isn't fair to anyone, especially him. We all deserve someone who is with us for the right reasons.

Last weekend loomed big and boring, (this one appears to be headed in the same direction) so I decided to really take some time and look at the local profiles on singles net. This is the dating site I fool around with until I'm ready to take things seriously. When that time comes I'll take out a three month subscription to Match.com and get down to business.

As usual, what I found on the website pretty much horrified me. Except now there is the added bonus of online chat! You never have to pay to be a member because "flirting" is free, and if your flirt is returned you can just meet up in one of the chat rooms! Sweet!

The chat room could be a blog on it's own. I am immediately, helplessly drawn right to it. Back in 2000 I was fairly addicted to online chatting. It kept me company through the lonely nights leading up to and during divorce number one. Human nature fascinates me, and having the opportunity to meet people from all over the world and have the chance to figure out what makes them tick was just too good to pass up.

Anyway, the chat rooms are divided by state. Being a border girl I flip flopped between MN and WI for a good part of Saturday night and Sunday evening. I thought I would see people who were interested in each other pairing off by two's and chatting. I did this a few times, but everyone who wanted to chat was from southern WI or Illinois. What I really found is an established community of online chatters......uh oh.

It doesn't appear that most of them, the men anyway, are there to date. They are there to see how many yahoo addresses they can add to their "bedpost." It's all about cyber/phone sex, and I am not going there. That wasn't the point when I was a "chatter" before, and it certainly isn't now.

This is leading up to tip #4 Hold back on the personal information until your gut tells you it's right. We all have that little voice in our heads that tells us a situation isn't right. Some of us just need to turn up our internal hearing aids. Myself included. I made a stupid mistake just last night, giving out my cell # to someone I was a little leery about, someone I don't really know. Granted no personal info is on there, but after the fourth call I began to get a little uneasy. Hopefully the "don't ever call me again" was clear enough. I haven't gotten any calls since. Rookie mistake and I know better.

Personal information like your full name, address, etc shouldn't be given out until you are ready to meet. Even then I don't think he needs your address. Again, the voice will tell you if you really listen. I knew that Charlie and "The Brown Eyed Man" were "safe." I knew that Pete, Brent, and Aaron whom you've yet to meet, were NOT. David? Well, he is another story entirely. lol

So I met a few gentlemen, and was reminded of this little tip we'll call #5. If his profile says "self employed" 8 chances out of 10 he's UNEMPLOYED and living in the projects. I'm not being totally mean here, I've done the research. :)

I did meet a few interesting people, who inevitably wanted to exchange yahoo addy's. It's ok to do that with someone you don't know, IF you have a separate account that has no trace of your real name on it. (back to tip #4) Just don't look at the web cam. You've been warned!

I will mention that it wasn't all bad. Ok, everything was bad until I stumbled across Marc the other night. He appears to be sane, has a good job, home, kids, we like the same things, are looking for the same things........and he did not ask me to see a web cam, or if I had one. He lives in Wyoming MN, a little far away, but he appears willing to travel. He also appears willing to let someone be a part of his life too. So stay tuned dating fans! Yes, his eyes are brown.......

THE brown eyed man in my life has been around lately too. We've spent a little more time together, but the worlds best popcorn maker is no longer in my kitchen. That was sad, and will continue to be until my eyes stop looking for it on the dishwasher. I rearranged everything else, so it's ALL different, and that seemed to help. When he left with it there was only one tear, (which he did NOT see) so that's progress. Now if I could just find it in me to box up the rest of it and call him to come and get it.