Tip Number One

So let me take you back a few years, the time....hmmmm.....Christmas Eve 2006. The place, well I guess it was right here where I'm sitting now. My divorce was just weeks from being final, and I had been on my own for a couple of months. I remember having a wonderful dinner at my brother David's, his Mother in law brought prime rib. I was included in the presents, even got a new pair of jams like everyone else at the dinner. It was very sweet, and made the first Christmas on my own...EVER, much more bearable.

I came home from the dinner, put on my jams, went to Match.com and found a "wink" in my inbox. Winking is something they do, or you do when you want to get to know someone better. Charlie and I started chatting, and although he was in Hayward, which is a bit far for someone like me who can't deal with long distance relationships, we really hit it off. So Christmas Eve really wasn't spent "alone" at all. We exchanged phone numbers shortly after and talked a lot the week between the holidays.

Enter, my X. (evil music) He comes back into my life with dinner and loving words, and the ever present "I don't know what to do". So as usual I fall for it cause....hey, I loved the guy. (AND I AM AN IDIOT) If I had all the information available, things would have went very differently. I know we spent New Years Eve together, and I pushed Charley away, saying I wasn't ready for a new relationship.

Fast forward to Jan 17th, and the divorce goes through as planned. Miss 29 yr old stewardess (yes I know it's flight attendant) has come back into his life and we are through. Mind you, I did not know about her being in his life for who knows how long, until the middle of Feb. THAT in itself is the making of a fabulous blog. Karma is a beautiful thing.

Charlie called me on D day to see how I was doing, and we resumed our friendship. I chose to keep it at that, because I really wasn't ready to start dating, and the long distance thing. That is/was a mistake. I liked him, and the like continued to grow as time went on. When I was ready to try again he was involved with someone. So I had a date with Brent, and the date with Pete (shudder) in the meantime.

This gets us to the subject, tip one.... Meet fairly quickly face to face! I did this with Brent, and it was immediately obvious what he was after. Moving on..... then Pete, and we know what happened there. So now it's mid March, and I remember ranting about the Perkins date from hell to Charlie over the phone. A week later his relationship ended, and we made plans to finally meet.

Maybe two more weeks passed and Charlie came to town on a Saturday it had to have been early April. Since we had been talking for so long I broke tip #2 (Always meet somewhere neutral and very public.) I have broken that one other time (Brown Eyes - I knew people who knew him) BUT my neighbors upstairs knew someone was coming over, and I did not lock the front door after they came in.

I remember him bringing some pics of a trip he had just been on, and we sat visiting on the couch for an hour or so. Then he took me to Red Lobster, walking on the Lakewalk, and we came back here and watched a movie. Everything was very platonic. Somewhere around eight or so he mentioned leaving, and as he got up to go he suddenly grabbed me and planted one on me. I don't ever remember being kissed like that before, practically engulfed me, very aggressive, and I was confused as to how I felt about that. Did I mention he was a mini version of Dermot Mulrooney? *My best friends wedding* Those damn brown eyes get me every time. lol Anyway, I made good choices and a while later he went home.

Thank God I did keep control of myself because when we talked the next day it was " I don't feel the chemistry between us" from him. So basically he would have slept with me, and then I never would have saw him again. He didn't even continue the friendship. So four months down the drain, and then the heartache of feeling a bit for someone again and having it smashed. Not cool. Meet fairly quickly.

Now I must fess up. There is someone who wants to meet. I went into a free dating site and met someone who lives two blocks from me. lol So much for rule #2 again. He has asked me out twice now, and I give him the "I'm not ready" speech that I gave Charlie. I have been absolutely blunt, telling him I don't want to smack him on the rebound, because that's what's going to happen. He claims he's a big boy and can handle it. *sigh* It would help me move on. Stay tuned.