The Four Month Rule

We seem to emerge from the fog of new love during the fourth month of our relationship. The exact time isn't important, but you know what I mean. It's the point where reality starts to sink in. Your new man is either getting more comfortable and you're seeing his "real self" for the first time, (that's more of a girl thing I think) or more likely your blinders come off and you notice what's been in front of you all along.

The basic premise is that you should seriously re-evaluate your relationship at the four month point. If anything is "wrong", if there are any red flags, you should end it. Of course it isn't that simple, but maybe it should be. The times I have actually listened to my own advise and done this, it was for the best. I look back at those relationships now and wonder exactly where my brain was?

Now by "wrong" I don't really mean those cute little quirky things he does, or the toilet seat being up. If those things REALLY get on your nerves though, you should consider it. I'm referring to the bigger things, and the attitude we sometimes adopt toward them. Where huge psychosis are something "he can overcome with my help, love, and understanding." We think it's a phase that will pass and gloss over it. A leopard doesn't change his spots, a zebra doesn't lose his stripes, and I would bet you $5 that the thing you started to notice at four months is the reason your relationship tanked later.

I'd like some comment on this one, either here or on Facebook. Think back to your failed relationships and see if I'm right. Yes, the reason "The Brown Eyed Man" and I ended was HIGHLY evident at the four month point. It didn't matter to me then, but I knew it would be what ultimately ended us. Do I wish I had listened to my own advise??? The jury is still kind of out on that. On one hand I could have moved on with my life, on the other maybe this is exactly where I am meant to be right now. I try not to live my life with regrets, as I say to the kids at work, "You make your choices!"