A Mother's Love

Today my Mother would have been proud of me. There are many days that she wouldn't have been...... and in fact, wasn't. I like to think that I taught my very strict Catholic mother that everything in this world is not either black or white. There are many, many shades of gray in between. Things she said to me later in her life confirmed that perhaps she did understand, although in good conscience could never approve, or at least admit out loud that she did. :)

Yesterday I visited with my (x) Mother in Law for what would be the final time, and I knew going in that it would likely be. As we sat together and she drifted in and out I thought "Gee, this is a very Catholic woman, there is probably something we should be doing." She had received the sacrament of Last Rites a few days prior, so I don't mean that, but something that would comfort her at that moment. So as I often do in these situations I consulted my Mother. "Alright Ruthie, what should I do?" I sat there for a moment, wracking my brain. Did all my years of Catholic education teach me anything? Then the blue prayer book popped into my brain. Although I'm no longer a practicing Catholic I own one and I know where it is. My Grandma used to read that book a couple of times every day. Ruth (yes our Mother's had the same name) had one somewhere in the house, I had seen it when I cleaned for her. So I asked her if she wanted me to find it and read to her, and she did. Judy located it, and I just read through, picking random prayers.

When Steve came in the room and sat down and heard me reading the stations of the cross he kind of lost it. Which in turn got me going, but I did not falter. In fact she reached over and squeezed my hand, hard. So I sucked it up the best I could and soldiered on. It is the last memory I have of her, and I will treasure it always.

We had a typical Mother in Law, Daughter in Law, love/hate relationship. I was between her and "The Golden Boy" and that was not always a pleasant place to be. However, for the last year and a half I have been cleaning for her. It gave us the opportunity to really cement a friendship, that had nothing to do with him. I will always be grateful for that opportunity.

Steve told me that this morning when they knew her time was near the four kids sat around her and read prayers from the blue book. She just slipped peacefully away. I told him I was glad they had done that, because it would have been exactly what she wanted. He looked at me and said "Well, we took the cue from you." Yes, my Mother was proud of me today.

So for the first time in my life, ALL of my mother's day greetings will be lifted up in a prayer on Sunday. Grandmothers, Godmother, Mother, Mother-in Law, so many wonderful women who each in their own way have helped shape me into the woman that I am today. I miss you, and I love you, God keep you til we meet again. ♥