Wallowing

That's what I'm doing this weekend.  Wallowing and having a pity party.  Just feeling sorry for myself in general, and actually that's o.k.  I knew this was going to be hard, I guess I just didn't know how hard.  I'm used to missing Sam, I'm used to her not being here all the time.  It's the forever part that I'm having a hard time with.  I said my good-byes the last time I had her here, just in case.  I sat by her side when she took her last breath.  I don't question the decision made. When Leon was wavering,  I had to remind him that he asked me to tell him when it was time, and it was, in fact, time.  There isn't anything I've left undone, so I have closure.

 I'm just heartbroken.