TV or Not TV

I have blogged a lot about the television lately, which is odd and unusual because honestly I don't really watch that much TV.  Well, at my house anyway.  I don't have cable, there are actual rabbit ears sticking out the tops of my two TV's.  I have no plans for cable, or dish, ever.  There just isn't enough programming that would interest me to justify spending the money on it.  Hillbillies are entertaining......when it isn't my dime.  It's a novelty that would wear off quickly I'm sure.

This past week I participated in the Nielson TV survey.  When the guy called I told him that I never watch, but they wanted to pay me five dollars anyway, so I thought "What the heck?"  There are actually four working sets in my house, so I had to fill out four forms.  Two were easy, they aren't even plugged in.  The third took me a minute, it's in the bedroom and I watched Leno on it one night.  The last one.... well, I watched some TV last Thursday night, and last Sunday night.  There might have been a show on Monday, but that was it.  OH yes, I checked out Bachelor pad.  I did leave a comment to them about that one.  I have no plans to watch it again.

I do watch more television in the winter time.  I will check out new shows, and one or two will make the cut.  I'm really looking forward to the return of "Revenge" and "Castle".  I try to be around when they are on.  The TV is also on most evenings for background noise when it starts getting dark at 5 pm, or else I would be asleep by 7.  For whatever reason I am just noticing "Big Bang Theory" which is absolutely hilarious.  I will have to start that one from the beginning on Netflix.

I think we are staying in town this weekend, and there wont be much on the television, (although there should be some good Olympic stuff)  but I am prepared!  Zombieland just arrived from Netflix!!  Double Tap!  Hey..... I wonder if there are any Hillbilly Zombie shows out there??? THAT would be awesome!

Whoopsie!

"Gloomy Sunday" strikes again!

This evening we were driving in the car, chit chatting about various issues of the day, when I hear the opening notes to "I Will Survive".  I stopped mid sentence, whipped the radio dial up, and then started laughing hysterically, til I cried. (Yes, I was driving.......)

"This is what you don't know."

"What?"

"That song is not sung by Dianna Ross, it's Gloria Gaynor."

"OH CRAP!  Guess I have some editing to do!"

I can't believe no one caught that and pointed it out sooner.  My apologies to the fabulous Ms. Gaynor.  When I'm wrong I admit it, and it doesn't happen often, so appreciate the moment. :)  That actually could be twice in one week, but there were no witnesses to the first one, and I wouldn't put it in writing, so therefore I'm pretty sure it didn't even happen.......

Crazy Pants (Ninja Kitty Part Four)

I guess that I have been remiss in my neighbor stories, so now we have to backtrack a bit.  My directly above me upstairs neighbor is a single gal in her late twenties.  She moved in last October, and was the perfect neighbor for about six months.  When the other upstairs neighbor was evicted (unfairly........ Remember the hole in the floor story?) the apartment remained unoccupied for about two months while they did some renovations.  I guess for whatever reason the young lady thought that since no one was next door no one could hear her, and she began screaming at her boyfriend at the top of her lungs for HOURS on end.  This always began at or around bar close time on Friday and Sat nights and would continue the following day.  It also occurred in the bedroom, which is right on top of mine.  The first time it happened I thought someone was hurting her and was half way out the door before I could think clearly ( I was sound asleep.) and realized it was her that someone needed saving from.  I started referring to her as "Crazy Pants". 

This got old pretty fast.  The deaf lady in apartment one even complained to the building Handyman about it.  DEAF lady.  I thought about approaching Crazy Pants and having a discussion along the lines of "do you know that we can hear you?"  Frankly I didn't want to, cause well, she appears to be  unstable with a capital U.  Remember, I can hear the things she's screaming....... One Sunday I listened to it from two a.m. on and finally at eleven a.m. I had enough.  I was listening to the radio out here and she brought her screaming fit out this way.  Kelly Clarkson's song "Stronger" came on, and I had an idea.  I cranked that mother as loud as it would go, and sang along at the top of my lungs for good measure.  When my little concert ended, strangely enough so did the screaming, and it has not happened again.  Not once.

So, now that you know who Crazy Pants is........   Let's see.......  Last week I had a pipe rust through in the bathroom under the sink.  It was the outgoing water, so not a huge disaster, plus some very expensive feminine products soaked up a good bit of it. *eye roll*  I had to call Landlord, and he sent over Handyman to fix it.  When Handyman was finished I showed him the living room screens that Ninja Kitty was trying to make mincemeat out of.  He said, "When I was cutting the grass I saw the chicken wire sticking out and wondered why you would do that, but I was sure you had a reason.  Pretty smart!"

I also mentioned that Milkie is constantly trying to get into Crazy Pants apartment.  Sometimes they leave the door ajar and I have to drag Milk out of their entryway.  I wondered to Handyman if perhaps my nemesis was not, in fact, her cat.  He asked for a description of the cat because he would be doing some work up there in the near future and would check it out.

Most days, when I am parked in the garage, after I unlock the door I look back at the house and see Milkie staring at me from her window and a fat orange cat staring at me from the one directly above.  Today I did not.  Today it was NINJA KITTY staring back at me from that window.  I'm pretty sure the "F" word made an appearance in some way, shape, or form.  Then I said "Touche' Ninja Kitty" and grabbed my phone.

I ended up leaving Landlord a message.  It started out with "This is a silly phone call" and ended with "don't want to be responsible for damage MY pet is not causing." 

I actually had to get up in the middle of writing this and shut the front windows because that little shit is out there.  I'm sure it's her because of Milkie's reaction.  There are a couple of other cats who pass by and she does notice them, but no one gets her (our) blood boiling like that damn Ninja Kitty!

Gloomy Sunday

While watching another fine cable program ( I can't recall the name of it.) we came across the legend of "Gloomy Sunday".  It is a song, written in 1933 by Reszo Seress (music) and Laszlo Javor (lyrics).  In 1936 the song became connected with eighteen suicides.  They found sheet music on some people, and the song was playing on the record player on some others.  This was a really hard time period for the people of Hungary, between WW2 and the economic depression of the country there were bound to be a lot of desperate people.  The show was trying to decide if the actual notes of the music could have influenced these folks, and it pretty much came up with the theory of a perfect storm of musical notes, lyrics, and the times.

The song was actually banned in Hungary and dubbed "The Suicide Song", but it was picked up here in the U.S. and remade by Billie Holiday.  I have yet to listen to that version, but heard a bit of the original last Sat night.  I don't know if I can retell this to be as funny as it actually was, it might be one of those "you had to be there" moments, and I wish you actually had been.  My performance was of high caliber!

So there we sit on the couch, puppy at our feet.  The show warns that it is going to play part of the song, and wont be held responsible for anything that happens to you if you choose to listen to it.  Big enough buildup that I'm considering plugging my ears.  "Cover your ears puppy, you're too young to listen to this!"

The first cords play and I do not miss a beat.  HONEST it is the opening chords to the song "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor.  I spread my arm in a wide gesture and belt it out "First I was afraid, I was petrified" and then erupted into gales of laughter.  When we finished laughing it was pointed out that " I Will Survive" is the opposite of "The Suicide Song" and we erupted into laughter again.  I must check out the Billie Holiday version to see if it's the same thing. (Just did, and it doesn't)

I suppose I should put my own disclaimer on this.  If you choose to listen to "Gloomy Sunday" do so at your own risk. Music can be very powerful thing.

P.S. I usually could give a rat's behind, but in case I've offended anyone, yes... I know that suicide is no laughing matter.  I've dealt with some of the consequences of it personally, so yeah, I get it.  This is just a funny story. :)

Hillbilly Tooth Picks

I learn so much hanging out in the country watching cable television.  My mind is already a font of useless information, which is why it is very hard to beat me at Trivial Pursuit.  In fact, no one has.  Nope, not once.

I have two stories from last nights television viewing.  This one struck me so funny I actually laughed til I cried, and I was sober.

I was introduced to a new show called "Oddities-San Fransisco".  Some people own a shop that sells, well, oddities.  We saw animal skeletons, ozone machines, a gas mask made for a horse, and these dioramas that the owner makes out of animals that have been sent to the taxidermist.  She dresses them up and poses them............. oddity is right.

So, a dude comes in with an ozone machine and wants to trade for a diorama, but he has special requests.  I can't quite recall what they were, but something about zombies was discussed.  It ended up being a mouse zombie thing, but that's not the important part.

The owner sent her assistant, Wednesday (who in fact looks like Wednesday from the Adams Family) out to pick around at flea markets to see if she could find something macabre and whimsical for this special diorama.  (People are so weird.)  She approaches a booth and asks the guy about macabre whimsy and right before they cut to commercial he makes a comment "Boy, do I have something to show you."  Then they show her reaction, but not what it is, and we're at commercial.  I chuckled and made some comment about just what he was showing her..........

We came back from commercial and they show a jar of straw like bones.  Wednesday was beside herself with excitement.  "Baculum?  Are these really baculum?"  Then the voice over explained that baculum are animal penis bones.  Well, I knew he was showing her something of the sort!  So we started laughing at how close I was to the truth.  They cut back to the shop, and Wednesday was excitedly showing the others her find.  The dude who works there said.  "Baculum?  I've always known them as HILLBILLY TOOTHPICKS." 

Raccoon baculum

I just lost it.  I laughed long and hard and loud.  I would compose myself and start all over again until I was crying.  I could start laughing again right now just thinking about it! 

I wonder if the fellers down in Lizard Lick know about this?  I wasn't planning on watching anything "hillbilly" because I'm afraid I'm going to dream about them coming to kill me again.  This one just snuck itself in there.  Hee Haw!  Keep them teeth ya still got healthy!  *gag*

Hillbilly Dreamin'

If you go back into the blog, oh.... about a year or so, heck it's probably longer than that.  Maybe about two years ago you will find.... wait, I learned how to do this!  Here!  

http://queenie930.blogspot.com/2011/04/hughitt-hillbillies.html  

Living next to Hillbillies is NOT fun.  Watching them on television IS.  Dreaming about them trying to kill you.......... well, that just means you were up until three a.m. Sunday morning watching too much Hillbilly T.V.  That was the show "Lizard Lick" which I am absolutely obsessed with.  The drama they create in their own minds hooks me every time. 

When Bobby got hit with a shovel by a giant Hillbilly I winced, then I laughed until I almost peed my pants.  When the huge Hillbilly lady came out to defend her rifle totin' man, who was dressed in RED LONG JOHNS ......... oh wait, the best part was what she said.  "You upset my GOAT and my MAN."  (note who she put first) I was in stitches.  I think it's probably just as amusing to watch me watching them as it is to just watch the show. 

I also was introduced to "Swamp People" where they hunt gators, and now Miss Baby Face Swanson tells me there's something called "Redneck Vacation."  *rubbing my hands with glee*  I wonder just how much DVR space I can get him to allot me........

The funny thing is, I rarely watch T.V.  I have been home all morning and the set is quiet.  I don't have cable or dish, just the regular old channels and rabbit ears.  When I'm out in the country, or at my sisters, I can almost never find anything to watch on the pay stations.  Until now.  It's like Hillbillies gone wild all over the place, and as long as they aren't in MY back yard, or in my dreams trying to kill me, I'm lovin' it!

Cute

Dirty Laundry

I'm sorry, this blog isn't about gossip.  It's about my dirty laundry, literally.  Laundry has been the bain of my existence for most of my adult life.  It isn't the usual pain of ho hum have to do the laundry.....again.  It's the weekly decision of where it's going to get done.  Let me explain.

Apparently I have been on my own for twenty five years.  I know this because of all the obnoxious reunion reminders for next month.  I have finally caved in and decided to go, so THAT should be some good blog fodder. :)  Anyway, during the last twenty five years I have had easy access to a washer and dryer (in the same house) for maybe half of them?  The other years have been spent hunting quarters for the Laundromat or dragging my laundry to my sisters house.

My first apartment didn't have laundry, so I dragged it to my Mom's once a week.  It was the same story in my second apartment, and then in the mobile home I bought.  I just didn't have the extra cash to buy a washer and dryer to put in the space allocated for them.  Then I had a "live in" (my mother coined that one) and I wouldn't bring the joint laundry over to her house so the trips to the laundromat began.  Ugh, that must have lasted for five years.  On Wednesdays I got done at two so that would be laundry time.  Me, the laundromat crazies, and a good book.  I have blocked most of that out, except for watching a blizzard blow in one afternoon.

When we tied the knot five years later the "live in's" parents paid for half a stackable washer/dryer.  We used wedding money for the rest of it.  It was heaven!  Five years of being able to do laundry anytime I wanted!  I also got it in the divorce.  Well, o.k.  I had to pay him back for their half. (s.o.b.)  Most of you know that he and I got back together about a year after that. (ey yi yi) We moved uptown in 2003 and that house already had a washer and dryer, and while they were older, we just couldn't fit the stackable into that space.  So I left them behind.  HUGE mistake.  (Amid a few others.)

So life continues, with a washer and dryer in the same space.  There's another marriage and shortly thereafter another divorce.  I moved my little self to this very apartment where in the basement there were hook-ups.  Oh how I longed for my stackable!  Why didn't I store it somewhere?  Anywhere?? *sigh*  Well, I babysat for my sister every Tuesday night anyway, so that became laundry night.  If I didn't have to watch CeCe I would run over another time on the weekend and get it done.  That went on for almost five years. 

The landlord decided to take out all of the individual washer/dryer hookups in the creepy basement and put in a "pay" washer and dryer.  Now, this actually happened maybe two years ago, but I'm certainly not a fan of giving that man one dime more than I need to!  If I'm at Kate's on Tuesday anyway I'm going to bring laundry.  Free babysitting = laundry.  All my siblings know full well that if I'm watching kids I'm bringing laundry. :) 

During the last six months or so they haven't been needing a sitter for CeCe much.  My work hours have changed, and I don't really want to be doing laundry at my sisters til nine o'clock at night after working ten hours.  I have dropped my laundry off on my way to work and picked it up afterwards a couple of times.  Kate's good about helping me out in a pinch.  For the most part though I'm back to hunting down quarters.  Two dollars for the washer, and two for the dryer.  Now I'm not going to pay him that.  The laundromats in town aren't even that expensive.  I just use the washer, and then my huge dining room table/chairs become the dryer.  It actually works pretty well!  Half hour and done, if you don't count the drying time, in my own house.  It's the just the endless hunt for quarters........

C-monster

It's hard to believe that the youngest Goovers are seven today, and one month shy of seven today!  Where does the time go?

Happy Birthday Cierra (c-monster, c-biscuit, etc) !!  (old pic, from a Packer game this winter)

Every year I write about how special she is, the life lessons she teaches, and the great strides she makes.  I don't really have anything new or insightful to share about this amazing girl.  This year she has finally broken through the silence, communicating more and more (even if it's not always words) and she can follow simple directions.  Last Saturday I was able to ask her to grab me my sandals, which I had left by the front door at least an hour before, and she was able to figure out what I wanted, where they were, and brought them to me.  Not amazing for a seven year old, but for C-butt it's a goal achieved!  Ask the same question a year ago and you would get a blank stare.  Now she stops and thinks and starts to look around the room.  I said, "They're over by the door."  She stopped, thought, went over to the door, grabbed them and brought them to me.

Ce-Ce is having a bowling party later in the month, so I'll just stop by on my way home this evening to share a birthday cupcake and read her a bedtime story.  She's a busy summer school girl right now, so it's hard to even make it to bedtime, but Auntie works til six. 

Apparently we can finally sing the birthday song to her without an eruption of tears!  I can't wait!!  ♥ Love you baby girl!  Ugh, they aren't babies anymore......