I learn so much hanging out in the country watching cable television. My mind is already a font of useless information, which is why it is very hard to beat me at Trivial Pursuit. In fact, no one has. Nope, not once.
I have two stories from last nights television viewing. This one struck me so funny I actually laughed til I cried, and I was sober.
I was introduced to a new show called "Oddities-San Fransisco". Some people own a shop that sells, well, oddities. We saw animal skeletons, ozone machines, a gas mask made for a horse, and these dioramas that the owner makes out of animals that have been sent to the taxidermist. She dresses them up and poses them............. oddity is right.
So, a dude comes in with an ozone machine and wants to trade for a diorama, but he has special requests. I can't quite recall what they were, but something about zombies was discussed. It ended up being a mouse zombie thing, but that's not the important part.
The owner sent her assistant, Wednesday (who in fact looks like Wednesday from the Adams Family) out to pick around at flea markets to see if she could find something macabre and whimsical for this special diorama. (People are so weird.) She approaches a booth and asks the guy about macabre whimsy and right before they cut to commercial he makes a comment "Boy, do I have something to show you." Then they show her reaction, but not what it is, and we're at commercial. I chuckled and made some comment about just what he was showing her..........
We came back from commercial and they show a jar of straw like bones. Wednesday was beside herself with excitement. "Baculum? Are these really baculum?" Then the voice over explained that baculum are animal penis bones. Well, I knew he was showing her something of the sort! So we started laughing at how close I was to the truth. They cut back to the shop, and Wednesday was excitedly showing the others her find. The dude who works there said. "Baculum? I've always known them as HILLBILLY TOOTHPICKS."
I just lost it. I laughed long and hard and loud. I would compose myself and start all over again until I was crying. I could start laughing again right now just thinking about it!
I wonder if the fellers down in Lizard Lick know about this? I wasn't planning on watching anything "hillbilly" because I'm afraid I'm going to dream about them coming to kill me again. This one just snuck itself in there. Hee Haw! Keep them teeth ya still got healthy! *gag*
I have two stories from last nights television viewing. This one struck me so funny I actually laughed til I cried, and I was sober.
I was introduced to a new show called "Oddities-San Fransisco". Some people own a shop that sells, well, oddities. We saw animal skeletons, ozone machines, a gas mask made for a horse, and these dioramas that the owner makes out of animals that have been sent to the taxidermist. She dresses them up and poses them............. oddity is right.
So, a dude comes in with an ozone machine and wants to trade for a diorama, but he has special requests. I can't quite recall what they were, but something about zombies was discussed. It ended up being a mouse zombie thing, but that's not the important part.
The owner sent her assistant, Wednesday (who in fact looks like Wednesday from the Adams Family) out to pick around at flea markets to see if she could find something macabre and whimsical for this special diorama. (People are so weird.) She approaches a booth and asks the guy about macabre whimsy and right before they cut to commercial he makes a comment "Boy, do I have something to show you." Then they show her reaction, but not what it is, and we're at commercial. I chuckled and made some comment about just what he was showing her..........
We came back from commercial and they show a jar of straw like bones. Wednesday was beside herself with excitement. "Baculum? Are these really baculum?" Then the voice over explained that baculum are animal penis bones. Well, I knew he was showing her something of the sort! So we started laughing at how close I was to the truth. They cut back to the shop, and Wednesday was excitedly showing the others her find. The dude who works there said. "Baculum? I've always known them as HILLBILLY TOOTHPICKS."
 |
| Raccoon baculum |
I just lost it. I laughed long and hard and loud. I would compose myself and start all over again until I was crying. I could start laughing again right now just thinking about it!
I wonder if the fellers down in Lizard Lick know about this? I wasn't planning on watching anything "hillbilly" because I'm afraid I'm going to dream about them coming to kill me again. This one just snuck itself in there. Hee Haw! Keep them teeth ya still got healthy! *gag*
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