33

A friend of mine had a post on Facebook this past week, about a study that claims the "happiest" age is thirty-three.  It went on to state that you were finished making big mistakes, and knew more about life.

Yep, I felt like that when I was thirty-three.  I really did.  I had everything figured out and was sure my days would be error free.  Then my late thirties came along, punched me in the gut for a few years, and sent me out the other side broken, but much happier.  Happier in the knowledge that I don't know shit.  Happier that I can accept that I will make mistakes, but also knowing that I've made so many I will recognize the wrong path sometimes and catch myself before it happens.

I may have mentioned this before, but it bears repeating.  I once asked a ninety year old lady to please tell me that at some point we figure "it" all out.  You aren't going to like the answer she gave me.  I didn't like the answer she gave me.  "No honey, no.  Some things you do, but for the most part, no."  I asked her why she couldn't have just lied. :) 

So last night some of us (most of them are around the magic age of thirty-three) were discussing this, and as the "crone" (for you smart asses out there that means wise) of the group  I pointed out to their smiling "yes we have it all figured out" faces, that there is no magic age where we are happiest.  That will differ for everyone, and how can you know what it is until your final, or later days? 

For me, thirty-three was alright.  I was a smarty pants, but not terribly happy.  I am much happier now, that's for sure.  Will I look back and say that forty-two was the happiest year of my life?  Well, so far no, but I'm always hopeful.  I like to think that my happiest years are still ahead of me. What my Mom used to say, "Life is what you make it." is about the only knowledge I have to impart.  She was right. 

Who knows?  Maybe someday I will be sitting in a rocker on my front porch looking back on this being the happiest time of my life.  Maybe I wont be rocking alone, and THAT will be the happiest time of my life.  I'm not going to worry about it, I'm just going to enjoy the journey.

Child's Play

Instead of reading to the kids today I had errands to take care of.  I finally got my tax money back, and put four new tires on the old jalopy.  Wow, what a sweet ride.  This has speeding ticket, or worse, written all over it.  I mean, I'm so glad to have a safer vehicle..... *evil grin*  Gee, THAT is what tire tread looks like.  Amazing!  Hard to believe I wont have to run to the gas station every other week to put air in the tires.  I'm so good at it I can eyeball where it needs to be.  No gages for this gal!  My brother in law Tom has an air compressor and filled them a dozen times for me too, so thanks Tom!  That's one less thing I will bug you for. :)

Kate and I got the car settled in and headed over to Applebees for lunch, where I ordered a celebratory bloody Mary. (To celebrate two years of blogging.)  Tooooo heavy on the w sauce, and not enough goodies inside.  The french onion soup was fab, and I will report back on the turkey, bacon, fried green tomato sandwich that I had to take home.  I will have it for dinner shortly.

Anyway, back to the kids.  I saw two parents today from that class.  One of them at the Walmart service center  "Miss Joanie!"  "It's just plain Joanie these days." and then one of them who actually lives across the street.  Both of them asked about the new job, and then added the typical, I don't know how you worked with preschoolers in the first place.   I wondered some days myself.  Mostly not because of the kids though.

Last Saturday it was so nice out that while sitting on my front stoop I was wishing for some sidewalk chalk, and some kids to play with to cover up the fact that it was ME who wanted to draw on the sidewalk.  Playing is such an important part of life.  I firmly believe that preschoolers learn the best through play and exploration, and I think that's what is wrong with so many adults.  We forget how important it is to play.  To just let go and live, and to embrace life with joy.  I know life sucks, and I know times are hard.  I'm certainly not immune to any of that.  I can still, however, cherish the feeling of wind in my hair as I ride my bike around the neighborhood, for enjoyment, not for exercise.  Swing on a swing at the park, or just doodle on the sidewalk......because it's there, and I can.  Splash in a puddle, make a snowangel, or even just catch snowflakes on my tongue.

The thing I miss about being a preschool teacher is playing/interacting with the kids.  I miss reading stories, music time, and making up silly songs to get them laughing.  The goofy things they come up with that get me laughing.  Play and laughter.  SO important for all of us.  That's why I try to go back a couple of times a month to see them.  So I don't forget.  I would hate to turn around one day and realize that I had grown up!

Two Years Later

While writing the date about fifty times at work today I got the feeling that it meant something.  Some one's birthday?  Nope, that wasn't it.  I don't remember the wedding anniversaries of my family and friends for the most part, so I doubted that was it.  None of my own weddings were in March...... :)

Then I realized that it is/was the second anniversary of the start of my blog!  On March 27, 2010 I took "pen" in hand and began to write.  (Yes, I do realize it's the 28th......I'm usually a day late and a dollar short when it comes to these things.)

For two years now I have been sharing my thoughts, feelings, and just my life in general with the world.  I am amazed that I've stuck with it this long, and doubly amazed at those of you who have hung out with me for this journey.  What started out as writing for family and a smattering of friends has grown into something that is read around the world!  No pressure there........ :)

If I had planned out this blog I might take us down the path of "What have I learned?" or  "How have I grown?"  Fortunately for everyone I didn't.  Although I do feel there should be cake.  Last year when I celebrated my year anniversary I do believe that my sister and I had a glass of wine.  We're going out to lunch tomorrow, perhaps there will have to be a toast. 

A toast to you, my readers.  Whether you are with me all the time, or just pop in occasionally to see what the I've gotten myself into lately, you are always welcome at the castle!  It is my corner, but I never mind sharing it with friends.  I know that I have been kind of quiet lately, I'm just settling into my new life.  I've got at least three blogs rattling around somewhere in my brain, and I'll try to get them together for you soon.  THANK YOU for reading! 

~ Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of somebody else.
                                                     Judy Garland

Spring Breaking

This week the kids in our school district had "Spring Break".  That means there were goovers running wild all over the place!  In my old life that would mean extra kids, and older ones at that.  Why any parent would feel preschool is a good idea for an eight or nine year old is beyond me.  There are enough agencies that offer age appropriate programming..... I'm just sayin'.  Of course the older kids aren't going to behave in preschool, and can you blame them???  Anyway, I was glad to be out before this week arrived!

In my new life, it didn't really mean anything for me, except I had the chance to meet some new kids when they came in with their parents, including a lil dude who was just three days old!  I also got to flex my "Ruthie glare" at some unruly children, who immediately stopped what they were doing.  One beat feet to do some coloring and the other one ran to Mom. :)  I've still got it.

My Goovers were all over the place this week!  From the looks of his Mama facebook page TAFKAP was all over the city whooping it up with his pals.  A welcome break from homework I am sure!  Ashlyn and Hannah were up at Canal park, and playing in the water at the Edge.  Their youngest sister, Tater, was down in the Dells with a friend and her family at the water parks.  Apparently she was even at the House on the Rock. (Now I"M jealous too!)

 Cierra was just hanging with Mom, beepopping along.  BUT:  For the very first time I asked Cierra a question, and she answered me.  Answered me vocally.  Granted it was:  "CeCe, what does a cow say?"  The answer was correct: "Mooooooooooo"   Then her mother told me to try lamb, so I did, and the answer was  "Baa-Baa".  Now to some of you that might look small and mundane, but it was so huge I can't even put it into words!  A couple of weeks back Cierra had new tubes put in her ears, and since then she has been talking at school (mostly saying "Hi") talking more at speech at UMD, and now actually communicating things that she knows.  That end part is the big thing. 

Oh yeah, and that dang Ashlyn got her drivers permit.  HOW can she be that old already???  I've told her to let me know when she's ready and I'll let her take out a car with some REAL power behind it.  Yes, I am fully insured. :)

Cut Bait

This morning I made a decision.  No more fishing.  No more pond, and no more bait. 

Yes there's a reason.  No, I don't want to share. (Not fair, too bad.)  Oh you know I'll share, just not right now.  I have to think about it for awhile.  Although,  I have been thinking about it for a long time.  One of these days I'm going to think myself right to the nuthouse. :) 

So once again the online dating stories are coming to a close.  I couldn't even write the best (sarcasm) thing that happened.  It was just too awful for words.  Although if you buy me a whiskey coke and ask me mid way through it I will probably tell you through laughing tears.

I've packed up my fishing gear, and I'm heading on down the trail.  Where it leads I can't quite see, but I'm whistlin' while I walk, and I'm happy.   For an Irish girl on St.Paddy's day......... that's pretty good.

♫ When Irish eyes are smiling, sure they'll steal your heart away.♫

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Crazy Lady On John Avenue

What a glorious day!  When I finished work at five I headed straight home, changed, tossed my hair up in a pony, slapped on my shades, and headed out for a walk!  I love my first walk of "spring".  Listening to the quiet winter neighborhood waking up, smelling that muddy new spring smell, the sound of the water gurgling along the streets from the melting snow banks.  My ears straining to hear the kids joyous shouts while they play those crazy kid games, roller blades scraping along the sidewalks, and the sounds of basketballs thumping in driveways.

I heard all of these things within the first few blocks of my walk, and I was waltzing along to their tune when I saw her coming.  From a block away I thought she was a man.  Then I noticed something behind her.  Is that a dog?  It couldn't be, it's behind her.  Wait no, that's an older lady..........and a bear!  Ok, a huge dog.  As we got closer the lady moved to the side and the dog came forward, right to me in fact.  I froze.  Certainly not out of fear, I'm not afraid of big dogs, and I am smart enough to tell which ones to approach and which ones to give wide berth. 

The sweet old girl  (Her name in fact IS Girl) ambled up to me with the exact old hip gait that my Sam had.  While she was bigger, and some thinner, with short hair instead of long, she was the same mix with the same ears, and the same whiskey colored eyes.  Somehow I kept it together and the lady was a talker, so I found out that she is also 13, the Same age Sam was last fall before........ 

So after chatting and lots of petting  (She also did the same roll on the belly, hit me with her paw thing Sammy would do to me.)  we went our separate ways.  I was no longer smiling.  I was angry, I wanted my dog and I felt like throwing the worlds biggest hissy fit, right there on John Avenue.  I needed to scream,  jump around, and smash something.   Cue the inner voice:  YOU CAN'T DO THAT, CRAZY PEOPLE DO THAT, AND THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE YOU AWAY.   So I continued walking, but could feel the tears. DO NOT CRY.  IT'S GOING TO BE AN UGLY, GUT WRENCHING SOBBING THING, AND THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE YOU AWAY.   So I continued walking, and tried to concentrate on my breathing, but it wasn't working.  GO HOME, GO HOME NOW.  So I did.

I had left my car parked on the street so it would be easier to carry my laundry basket inside, so I got into it to put it in the garage.  Instead I sat in it, yelling obscenities loudly. :)  That helped a little til it triggered tears, so I quit. 

I came in the house, had a good cry, and went into comfort mode.  Hot bath, good book, and a nap.  I woke up at EIGHT p.m.  Now I"m eating eggs and blogging the rest of it out of my system.  Although it never goes away.  I miss all of them so much, and have had several reminders this past week of the terrible trio.  The other things just brought a bittersweet smile, but this one tipped it.  Toddlers definitely have the right idea.  Throw yourself on the ground kicking and screaming til you just can't anymore.  It doesn't solve anything, but I bet you feel a whole lot better inside.  Even if they do take you away. :)

Disturbing

We all know that a bear shits in the woods.  I guess what I never stopped to consider was that hunters spend a LOT of time in the woods, and there are, in fact, no Porto potties.  Reason number 325 why I'm never going hunting.

This past Friday night at Happy Hour I met a new friend.  Baby Face was there and brought a new gal into the group.  We'll just call her Merry to protect the innocent.  Merry is a hair stylist, who also enjoys hunting.  She showed us a little trick that her Grandpa taught her as a young hunter.  Well, she not only showed us, but she handed us all a napkin to try it for ourselves.  So here it is folks......

HOW TO WIPE YOUR BUTT IN THE WOODS WITH ONE SQUARE OF TOILET PAPER

(I have no idea if this works....... I could see where the napkin size might, but ONE little square of tp?)

I'm thinking we should have some pictures here.......

First you fold the square in half.

Then in half again.

Then (and this is the very important part) rip the corner and SAVE THIS PIECE.  As Merry put it "Set it on the log next to you."

Open up the piece of toilet paper, and insert your thumb in the hole.

And this is where the demonstration stops.  I can promise you I will NEVER be curious enough to try this out to see if it works.  lol

So, you use your thumb to wipe your butt, then pull the tp up to wipe your thumb.

 Did you save your VERY IMPORTANT PIECE?  You use it to clean out your fingernail.

So what have I learned from happy hour this week?

NEVER, EVER, EVER, SHAKE HANDS WITH A HUNTER!!!!    :)

p.s. I used a piece of napkin for the demonstration, I still can't see how one square of toilet paper could possibly work, and again.... I will never be curious enough to figure that little mystery out!

Growth

I do have a real blog to write, and I will get to that one later, or tomorrow, or whenever. :)  It shouldn't be too long, as the story is formulating in my head at the moment.  This one is just a general commentary about me, life, etc.

New Job:  Perhaps I WAS meant to grow up and be a receptionist!  I am really amazed at how quickly I caught on to how things work.  On day two, due to the blizzard, I had to solo.......and I rocked it!  Not to say that I'm not making mistakes, but everyone has been really great about answering questions and cleaning up "boo-boo's".  I'm already at the point where I realize I've made a mistake right after it happens, and can sometimes correct it on my own. :)  I can tell that Fridays are going to be rough, but even then the stress level of a ten hour Friday doesn't equal the stress level of one hour on a bad day at preschool.  THAT is no exaggeration.

Old Job:  Stopped by on Thursday afternoon (loving the Thursdays off) and read the kiddo's a leprechaun story.  Then we learned and danced the leprechaun song!  The old man of the group wanted to "Hokey Pokey" and the baby wanted to "Waddle" so we did.  Jen and Tom included. :)  I'm glad I can still have that opportunity, because I would miss it.  Actually though, that's the only thing I would miss.  When I walked through the door I was glad to see them, and when I walked out I was glad to go.  Someday I'm going to write some things about child care in general....... but not today.

Winter:  Winter finally arrived, in the form of a raging blizzard that shut down the city, and then a few days later Lake Superior created it's own low pressure system and dumped ten unexpected (even by the weather folks) inches of snow on us.  Now today on into next week it's supposed to be in the high forties, maybe even fifties, so winter around here lasted about a week this year.  I just wish it had been in January where it belongs.  Although March can be our biggest snow month, here's hoping we don't get anymore. 

Bachelors: I haven't heard a peep out of bachelor number two, so whether or not the girl knows, I'm sure he does. :) Boomer would like me to push the issue, but the truth is, I just don't care to.  I'm clear of it, and that's all that matters.  I had another date with number four last week, and it went very well.  He's very much a gentleman, and I do appreciate that!  Now there's some work business on his end, so I'm not really sure when I will see him again, but we talk every day.  I chat from time to time with a couple others in the pond, but haven't gotten "hooked" :)  Apathetic seems to be a good word for me at the moment.  While I enjoy going out, I can tell that I'm nowhere near ready to have someone in my space for longer periods of time.

Me:  Which brings us to me.  Yes, I know the whole thing was about me.  It's my corner after all.  Do you really want me to write about YOU?  Well, I will....... but it will have to wait for the day when I'm done working for the man and am my own boss. :)  So it will be awhile.  However, my feet are planted on the right path, and I'm really enjoying working toward a better future for myself, and the Milkster.  I went shopping the other day, and for the first time since the divorce (five years) I was able to go into a store and just buy what I needed and a few things I've wanted, and I didn't have to do any mental adding.  I could just buy it.  That feeling was amazing. 

The Blog: When checking my stats lately I am noticing more and more readers from around the world, which never ceases to amaze me!  I have several page views a day now, whether I write something or not.  Thank you all for stopping by, I hope you hang around.  The next part of my journey looks to be pretty interesting!  Feel free to leave comments any time.  While most comments come on my facebook page, from my friends, I would surely love to hear from anyone right here on the blog!!

I know that I haven't blogged in a week, it's the inner shifting of self, if that makes any sense.  The strong, out there, totally in command self that had to run the bruhaha ,on her feet most of the day at preschool has had to give way to a softer, more sympathetic, sit on her butt all day, have to use more of her brain power self.  Although I have issued my first time out warning. :)  It was yesterday for those of you in the pool.  I can't even remember the whole thing, just a guy joking around telling me riddles, wondering if I could "handle" his attitude.  I told him that in my last life I was a preschool teacher, so I was pretty sure that I could. :)   We all know I'm not a fan of adults and their nonsense, but I have really met some great people in the last two weeks!  I think now that I have grown some, and am more of a people watcher, it has become easier to be more accepting.  

Jessie's Girl

♫ JESSIE IS A FRIEND♫

This evening Vicki, Kate, and I headed down to Black Bear Casino to catch Rick Springfield in concert!  I'm not sure how many times Vicki has seen him, as she stalks him all over the great state of Minnesota.  This is the third time for me.  We went with her once to Mystic Lake a few years back, and she took me to Vegas in '03 to see him in a show.  I heard tell tonight that there is a Rick Springfield cruise...........

The gals picked me up (late) and we headed off into the snowy afternoon.  The buffet was a rushed affair, because the drive also put us behind schedule.  I didn't realize how close we were to concert time and had to forgo dessert. :(  We got to our seats with literally five minutes to spare, but that was o.k. It's boring to sit there and wait!

The emcee came on and announced that they would be giving away front row seats to a lucky winner.  The number was called, and of course it wasn't ours.  Then the dude who "won" comes on stage with his girlfriend.  He takes the mike and starts a spiel, and the audience can tell where it's going, but the girl didn't get it until just about the time when he proposed.  It was very sweet.  Not a ticket contest at all, but a surprise proposal.  Actually brought a tear to my eye before I said "Run honey, run!" to Vicki, who just can not appreciate that kind of humor. *evil grin

What an awesome concert!  The crowd at Black Bear was kind of dull, which we found to be the case during .38 Special last year too.  They stand, but don't move around at all.  Not us.  We sang and danced our hearts out!  If I wanted to sit and watch quietly I'd turn on the old MTV.  All the favorites were represented, with a cover of Paul McCartney's "Jet" also that was really good!  We were singing and dancing to "Love is Alright" and at one point in the song Vicki yelled ( you cant hear unless you yell) to me, "Did we used to count during this part of the song?"  I laughed, and she asked "Why?"  "Cheer leading," was my reply........ and then I showed her. 

I love the way Rick always comes into the crowd and interacts with the audience.  He even did it during the Vegas show.  That show was freaking amazing, by the way.  Well worth the five days of hell that Vicki and I put each other through.  Well....... mostly.  I wouldn't want him that close to me, he gets EXTREMELY sweaty.  Plus he's skinny as a scarecrow, and that's not for me.  At one point he took off his shirt and the women went wild.  Vicki and I kind of winced at each other, but I must say.... I could see his abs on the jumbo tron.  He works out.  :)

On our way from the buffet to the show we passed by a woman in a leopard print spandex "dress" that was practically up to her hooha.  To top it off she had a gold chain around her neck with the word COUGAR in huge letters.  Ok, if she was thirty I'll give you a nickel.  Then after the show we went back to gamble a little bit, and this is where I lost the five bucks Vicki gave me. (I don't gamble, I always lose.) 

The machine actually played the song "Man Eater" by Hall and Oats when you pressed the button.  I was laughing my head off, and that alone was worth the five bucks I immediately lost into it!

Arrived home to find that it was snowing like crazy in Superior.  It must be lake effect snow because it wasn't snowing anywhere else.  Aren't we lucky?  Looked like about four more inches since I last shoveled at two.  Do we have to have winter all in one week???

Had an awesome time tonight!  My throat is sore from screaming and singing.  There were two older ladies a few rows ahead of us, dressed kind of "proper" and mildly moving to the music.  Vicki pointed them out to me, and asked if I thought that would be us someday.  I do think so, but I doubt there will be anything mild or proper about it. :)  Sometimes you just have to let loose!  I'm hoping by then the smoking ban extends to casino's.  Ugh, I smell like an ash tray!!! 

Teen Age Dream

I lost one of my teen age heart throbs this week.  Davy Jones passed away from a heart attack the day we finally got some snow.  My week is all screwed up, lets see....that would have been Wednesday.  While he wasn't my biggest teen age dream, he was one of the top five for sure.  I have been singing "Daydream Believer" in my head ever since I heard the news. He came here a few years ago and sang with the Duluth Symphony.  Kind of an odd combination, but I should have gone.  I would have liked to have seen him perform live at least once.  My youngest brother keeps reminding me of this, along with the comment "80's Joanie would be so disappointed in you."  Yep, she is.  More than likely the reason I didn't was that I couldn't find anyone to go with me.

Tonight I'm heading out with Vicki and Kate to see Rick Springfield at Black Bear.  That would be Vicki's obsession (I do mean obsession.  She once paid my way to Vegas just to see him in a show.) not mine.  While I do enjoy his music, this will be the third time I've seen him in concert, so there wont be any teen age ga ga blogs about it, like this time last year when I went to see Bo Bice.  *sigh*  Bo...... Don't worry, I'm not going to go off on a tangent about how the shadow of my head is on his leg in the picture I took while standing three feet directly below him at the stage. :) I'm just looking forward to getting together with this group of girls.  We always have a good time, no matter what we're up to.  Have some buffet, watch a good concert, excellent Saturday night!

On a side note, it snowed again.  Snowed another six inches actually.  Where was this crap in January???  We appear to be going backwards into winter, not forward into spring.  Although temps next week could hit fifty.  What a slushy, icky mess this is going to be.  It sure is purdy right now though!

Oh, and I went on another date with Bachelor #4 last night.  He's a very nice guy, and I had a great time.  The sleepover invitation was not issued, so we'll see if he quietly slips off into the night or hangs in. :)  I'm writing that knowing he's going to read it.  I told him (for better or worse) where the blog was.  I haven't friended him on facebook yet.  One step at a time.