Outta My Hair

Today I tried the new AVON hair color, and ♫Washed that gray right outta my hair!♫  I have to say, I was skeptical, but being somewhat of an expert at home hair coloring, I thought, "What the hell?"  Really, I am pleasantly surprised!  My hair is really soft, there's no trace of any kind of chemical smell, it wasn't too tacky feeling while on my head, and rinsed out really fast.  The red/brown color is pretty true to the other brands I have used, and as long as it holds the gray off for a couple of weeks I will be switching brands permanently.  Well, for as long as AVON carries it.  Those of you who are long time AVON users know what that means. :)

I'm not sure if I have ever blogged about the fact that I am an "AVON lady."  It's kind of odd that I wouldn't, but I don't think I have.  We'll save that one for another time.

Now we'll sing the other song that goes with that tune.  The real words.  ♫I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair, I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair. I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair, and send him on his way.♫  Which is how I feel about the rest of my life right now.  To quote Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

Flushed

As many of you know, Bachelor #2 has been flushed.  I toyed with writing a scathing blog, to which I would tag his real name, thus saving it for all eternity on the Internet, but I am going to take the (mostly) high road.  For those of you who know some of the guys I have dated, it's Mike B.  Sunday night I found out that he has a girlfriend down in the cities.  Now, if she would have been someone new it would have been fine, because we certainly have no "relationship."  However, he's known her for about a year, so that's just not cool. 

Maybe they don't have a committed relationship, so that's why he is on a dating website up here, but in my experience with men, that has never been the case.  The women assume they are all nice and cozy comfy, while the men are out trolling for fishies.

In this age of the Internet, especially with facebook, all it takes is a friend of a friend tagging you in a photo with your "lady love" and another friend of the woman you're trying to hook up with happening upon said post.  Game over.  At least on this end.  The mutual friends talked, and I am assuming since I haven't received one text from Mike that the woman he is seeing down in the cities is aware of his extra curricular activites up here.  UGH, SO NOT COOL!

I actually considered contacting this gal via facebook, because I now also know who she is.  If it were me, I would want to know.  Then I just decided to let the fates handle her and get myself clear.  After I finish writing this I wont waste one more ounce of energy in his direction.  Unless he is dumb enough to ever contact me again......... :)

If you read back a few blogs I wrote about my gut telling me that something just wasn't right with him.  Always, always, always trust your gut!  Gee...... I wonder why they call me a man hater?

Friday the Thirteenth

Don't go down to the lake.  I've seen the movie, or at least parts of it.  I know not to go down to the lake!  I never assumed that Happy Hour would be the thing to do me in!

If you are a superstitious person you would probably say that Friday the thirteenth didn't go so well for me.  If you are me you would say that the universe is shifting again, and it just happened to jolt extremely hard yesterday.

It was a stressful day at work and I shot a couple of things out into the universe in frustration.  You guessed it.  That is when the universe decides to listen, and WHAM!  The problem is, I am given options, but not answers.  I am given reminders, but no guidelines.

I made a comment to someone  "Have you sold that house yet?  I am ready to become a kept woman!"  Shortly afterwards he got an offer, countered, and the house sold.  No, I am not kidding.  I'm not really going to become a "kept" woman. :)  That is a little too much leisure for me.  Although being able to devote more time to writing, and working at what I love because I love it, not to pay the bills, would pretty much be heaven.  Plus, he is definitely an amazing man.  So of course it's complicated. :)

I sent another message out to the universe, and received a prompt reply, but that one I'm going to have to hold close to the vest for awhile longer.  Lets just say I took a hard look at some things that need to change, and since I do have a couple of clear goals, it's time to actually do something about it.

So after running around all day like a chicken with her head cut off I was really looking forward to Happy Hour!  That is when things took a very odd turn.  Boomer asked me a question about Brown Eyes' mother's Nigerian husband.  (No, I'm not kidding.)  There is some scuttlebutt going on out in the country involving a web scam, and there's a Nigerian man's pic on it.  She showed me, and I couldn't tell if it was him or not, and while I heard he was finally given clearance to come here, I wasn't sure if he had in fact arrived.  "Well, I'll just text Brown Eyes and ask!  I'm sure he'd like to know if this dude is behind things."  So I sent a text asking if this man was indeed in country now.  My phone immediately starts singing "All the Singles Ladies" by the Chippettes (my weird sense of humor), because that's his ring tone.  We talk for a minute about it, and while he doesn't think the man is here he would like to see the pic.  You're at Happy Hour?  Be right there.

What?  Uh............

At least I didn't have too much time to think about it, because he was indeed right there. Upon examining the photo, no it wast his Nigerian step father, who is fifteen or so years his junior. Brown Eyes probably stayed and visited for a half hour, it was all too surreal for me.  When Boomer got a little carried away with some female business he made a quick escape. :)  We all laughed, and then Boomer said.  "Gee I like him.  He's funny, he should join us more often."  I'm sure the look I shot her was pretty heartbroken.  "Um, HELLO?"  "Oh, yeah..... sorry."

That called for another whiskey coke, which went down way too fast.  Leading to an inebriated shopping trip next door for eggs, butter, and peanut butter and long discussions about types and prices of said peanut butter.  I really wanted to go home after that, but knew that I shouldn't drive, so I changed partners from Boomer (ditched I tell ya) to Sandy and her pal "Lady B" and headed down to V.I.P. to hang out and sober up.

At some point there were three texts between me and #2.  While I enjoy his company, and we did have fun again last Tuesday, my gut is telling me "wait, something isn't right."  My gut isn't wrong, where I go wrong is when I second guess myself and don't listen.  So while I'm not scrapping it yet, the caution flag is out.

Stuck with Lady B is always interesting, in ways I will not share.  Unlike Herself, who will (and did) share every detail of her life, no matter how personal.  I know things I never wanted to know, nor did I ask to know.  Now, I will talk like this with my gals sometimes.  The girl talk can get down right "blue waffle" raunchy.....but they are my girls, she is not.  Do not share things about your "Lady Business" (hence her name) with people you barely know.  It isn't seemly.  As my father would say...... Uncouth. :)

So I wound up back home safe and sound around ten.  Although pretty banged up on the inside.  Nothing happens for weeks, then in the span of a few hours I get pulled six ways to Sunday.  Windows slam shut, doors open, and reality slaps me in the face, hard.  Someday I will tell you that I'm well and truly over it, over him.  Today my friends, is just not that day.

We have two more Friday the thirteenths this year.  I should probably look them up on the calendar, use vacation days, and go hide somewhere..............without my cell phone. :)

Apples!

Ahhhhhh fall!  Today Steve and I made the trek to Bayfield Wisconsin to enjoy the Apple Festival with about ten thousand of our closest friends. I'm not really that much for crowds, so we arrive in the morning and kind of grow with it.  Then somewhere around noon I will look around and say ENOUGH!  I made it until one o'clock today, but did have a comfort zone to return to.  Melanie and Les (Copper Moon Pottery) were at the fest with their pottery.  Glad to see them doing well, and glad to see they are now making candle holders!  I'm a candle freak, but this isn't about that.  I'll see them sometime this evening as they are spending the night on my couch/air mattress.  Nice to be able to have some good visiting time, it's kind of hard when they are working! (as it should be)

You will note that I went to the fest with my Xhub.  It's something we used to do every other year when we were together.  I haven't been back since we split, so I guess it's been five years.  It was the last thing we did as a married couple in fact.  Anyway......   I never know how spending time with Steve is going to go, and I got ticked off right at the start, so I though it was going to be a rough day.  Then sometimes it's just awkward, but not this time.  We had a great time talking, listening to music ♫ Sweet Caroline...... bah, bah, bah ♫, and enjoying the gorgeous day!  Donuts and pumpkin spice coffee for the ride, and just a good time.

I wasn't exaggerating on the number of people who attend this thing!  When we headed out there were still cars streaming into the place.  It hit 80 here today, so people were really out in force.  It probably was tough on all the hat/mitten/sweater vendors, who the heck thinks about that when it's 80?  I bought some lip balm, apples, and some cinnamon and sugar covered almonds.  I was so looking forward to having hot apple cider, but it was just too darn hot!  I'll make some apple crisp and applesauce this week when things cool down.

One interesting thing about being friends with your ex husband is that you get to hear the dating stories.  I'm far enough off of the relationship where these are more amusing than painful. I swore I would not blog about it, and I always keep my word.  Too bad, cause it's good.  This is the part I don't understand about men.  "It's never going to work in a million years, but I'm along for the ride for now."  Well why on earth don't you just end it and move on if you know that???  I would, and I do.  You are leading the other person to believe there could be a future.  MEN   Yes, I generalize, but as a rule they do this all the time.  It's so much easier (and kinder) to move on right away, before people become attached. 

It was fun to car trip with him like we used to.  It brought back some good memories, and further cemented this friendship that we are building, separate from who we were back in the day.  No matter what, Steve and I have always been friends.  I'm glad to be past the crap, and able to have that part of our relationship back. 

This isn't the most flattering pic of me, the wind was blowing like crazy....I don't part my bangs to the side.  He asked me not to blog his relationships, but he didn't say I couldn't post his mug. :) (I probably forgot to ask.)  So twenty years later, here we are.  Happily divorced.

Fair Weather Friends

I was thinking about splitting this blog into two, but the stories intertwine, so we'll see if I can do a decent job with the whole shebang!

Steve (xhubster) and I went to the Head of the Lakes fair, in Superior, together yesterday.  While we hang out from time to time, it's the first fun thing we've done together in years.  The day dawned HOT and muggy, becoming quite miserable by mid-afternoon.  We backed our fair start time til 6pm, but it really didn't help any.  I ran for the cheese curds right when we got there, because in that heat I knew I wouldn't be hungry for long, and I wasn't.  The icee was the  best thing I ate until the later night brownie sundae.  We slogged through the midway, and the barns, then found a fairly cool spot to just chill for a bit.  We had a nice visit, and some serious conversation about some things going on in his life.

The main concert, Pure Prairie League, (70's band that I barely know) was scheduled for 8, and at about 7:45 the texts start.  The gist of them is this:   The band came in to The Shack on Friday night, they were staying at The Baywalk Inn which is a block behind, and Jon met some of them.  They became pals and he got backstage passes.  Oh and by the way, they'll be back at The Shack after the concert if you guys want to join us!

Steve and I wandered over to the concert area and listened for a bit, then Lisa and Jon joined us and we all had a rather nice time!  The band sounded amazing.  They are, after all, not spring chickens anymore.  There are two younger guys in the group, and then some original members.  Awesome show!  Steve and I held hands through "Let me love you tonight" which I didn't realize they sang, and then when they sang "Amy" at the end he put his arm around me, and I put my head on his shoulder and we swayed, just like old times.  Too bad there weren't more moments like that in the old times.......perhaps there wouldn't be an X in front of his name.  It was sweet, and romantic, and a good time.  The sun went down (thank God) and we spent another hour re-walking the midway, under a big full moon, just enjoying each others company.  Oh, and a huge brownie sundae! 

This is the part of the story where the new me kicks in.  Normally the end would have been, Steve dropped me off at 10:30, I took a shower and went to bed.  After all, it was 10:30.  Who knows what I might miss on Sat night live.  The apartment was so stuffy.  I kicked the sandals off my aching feet, sat on my throne chair and contemplated life.  Pick up your phone dummy, this night is NOT over.  So I did, and then headed out to The Shack, where I met all the members of the band and visited with them, and Lisa and Jon, for about the next hour.  I learned a few new jokes.......that I might repeat to some of you in private......oh...here's one.  What did the buffalo say as his son was leaving?   Bison.   Ha.  Hilarious to drunk people. 

So a little after midnight we start saying our good-byes.  I really wish I had had the guts to have Mike sing for me, baby steps I guess.  I did, however, end up giving John, the keyboard player a ride back to the hotel.  He was stumbling around the parking lot, and asked our Jon for directions to the hotel.  I looked at Jon and said, Does he need a ride?  All I could see were the band member found in ditch headlines.  So Jon the band member climbed into my Eclipse and vroooom off we went into the night.  Very nice guy.  They all were.  To my brother in law Tom:  Yes, he remains a chaste, pure, keyboard player.  Sixty-six, married, and extremely intoxicated just really isn't my style.  :)

I'm so proud of myself!  If you get a chance, take it.  If it changes your life, LET IT!  Yesterday I crashed the bouncy house.  How about you???

OH, I almost forgot.  After knowing Lisa for....geez, I don't know, fifteen years or so.  I finally heard her sing!  Not bad my friend, not bad at all!

Meanderings

I don't have a good title, and I don't really have a good blog idea. I'm sick with a cough and a fever, so this might not be too coherent. :) I just need to write something, anything! You see, this is blog number99! I can't very well write blog 100 if I don't have a 99.

Work, other than the latest plague, is good. I am so loving having my own class again. There have been a couple of bumpy parts, as there will be when you find your place with a new group of people, but I am lucky to have Tom with me, and now Anna has joined the staff in the baby room, so I have good friends around me. My own "clique" if you will.

The doings in Madison have sickened and saddened me, but they have woken me up to the importance of voting, no matter how equal the candidates appear. I will be there in April to vote against the old school fix for our city's financial problems, and to vote in a state Supreme Court Justice who will vote to overturn this Walker democrazy business. From now on my voice will be heard, even if it doesn't make a noticeable difference.

On the personal front....... I'm just plugging along. I've had dinner in the country, we've had dinner in town. Sam gets passed from house to house and it works well. For now, for me, it works. I still have no interest in dating. I'm liking the life I'm carving out for Milky and myself. I keep thinking that maybe in the spring I'll be ready to start over in that department. We'll see. Technically spring is in two weeks, but I mean real spring here, and that's months away for us yet.

My last blog on politics evidently irritated my little brother, as he has been harassing me with his wife's facebook account for the last several days. According to my sister it was the "right wing nut" comment. Yeah, I don't take it back. I will NEVER take it back. In fact, wingnut could become a permanent nickname. :)

The rest of the family is good. Ashlyn had an orchestra concert this week and is still 1st chair. I missed this one, but our cousin Val was there and so surprised and proud to see Ash tuning up the orchestra! She's getting ready for two soccer leagues this spring, and the little girls are getting ready for their first soccer experience. TAFKAP is working hard with scouts. He just received a bobcat badge, and I hope to see his pinewood derby at the end of the month. Cierra just had conferences at school. They love her, and take good care of her. What more could you ask? She has been communicating a lot more with me when I hang out with her, and that's good to see. (non verbal, but none the less)

Hmmm.... what else? Milkie is good, she wants to play right now so I best get going. Sammy has a bacterial infection on her belly and she's on meds for that, which she loves, because it means getting a pb SAMwich twice a day! Hopefully they clear this nastiness up, Leon hasn't seen much improvement yet.

I believe my upstairs neighbors are stomping their own grapes to make wine. This thought occurred to me at about 5am when I was awoken yet again....... please remember it was also fever induced.

Northern Wisconsin can be a pretty ho- hum place to live. Nothing exciting ever happens, other than the occasional blizzard, which we haven't even had this year. However, I'll keep the 20 below, spring that usually means weeks of nonstop rain, and the cooler by the lake summers. My thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Japan. When I watch the news my brain can't even comprehend the reality of what it's seeing.

Single Again

When I set up this blog a couple of months ago, it was knowing full well that I would be in this situation again. Stuck in a rut with someone you truly love is NOT a fun place to be. After about 19 months my brown eyed man is "going his own way."

Honestly although I knew it was coming, I'm still in shock from the reality of it. I have been through two failed marriages (although I count it as one since it's the same guy) the end of another long term relationship, and several shorter toxic ones that I had the brains to end quickly. What I feel with this can't compare to any of it. Because my friends, for the first time in years I FEEL.

I thought that things in my past had prevented me from being able to truly love someone ever again. I figured that I would be uncomfortable with a long term relationship of any kind, and most importantly if I could somehow manage one, I would certainly never make the mistake of trusting the guy. Much to my surprise I met "The Brown Eyed Man" and all of that went right out the window. I'm not talking with time, I'm talking as soon as we met. There's just something about him.

Some of you may think I'm nuts, but I actually thanked Brown Eyes for showing me that I still have the capability to love, to grow, to dream of a future with someone. This would be a lot easier to deal with if he were a slimy cheater. I know how to handle that hurt. (hedge clippers) This is something new. I don't think I've ever been in a situation where two people care for each other but choose to go their separate ways.

I am calling this blog coffee date, because that is what happens with online dating. You meet at a website, chat a bit, meet for coffee, and usually run off screaming into the night. Remind me to tell you about the dark foggy night at Perkins. *shudder* I swore last time I was out there I would write it all down. I thought the minute I was free I'd get right back on the proverbial horse, but that's not the way I feel. Now I'm choosing to use the blog as therapy to heal. Instead of focusing on dating right now, I'm going to focus on me. So I'll wrack my brain and go back in time a little to blog about what it's like then I'll decide if it's worth it. :)