Time

Time is really a relative thing. If I wear a watch I find myself continually looking at it worrying myself into a frenzy of what needs to be done and by when. Although an occasional glance at the clock is necessary while teaching or we might miss lunch! I'm never late, I'm never early, I'm always on time.

Today Father Time passes the torch to the Baby New Year. The current year has not been overly kind to me. I'm not sad to see it end. (although the summer was mostly awesome) I'm looking forward to the possibilities the new year will bring.

While I don't really believe a date on the calendar can change anything, I do know for certain that time really does heal all wounds. So in that respect "time is on my side." *grin*

Happy New Year dear reader, I do wish you the very best of everything in 2011!

Goovers on Ice

I wish I had brought the camera, but I was afraid that because I was on skates I'd fall on it and smash it to bits. Make no mistake, I can skate, and skate well, but when there are children on ice you never know what's going to happen! Hannah is definitely ready for a pair of skates. When she learns then I can take on teaching Tater the Terror. I don't know how many times that child clunked her head on the ice. They were supposed to be boot skating, but of course she was boot running.

We left the house around 4pm and right as we're heading out the door Caitlin has to go potty. I help her undo the jacket, snow pants, mitts, and send her off with a "You had better make sure you go because we are NOT fooling around with the porta potty at the rink." I look at her sister with a questioning glance. "No Auntie, I don't have to go."

I think this is going to be a three part blog, because there are two other stories that run along side this, and I can't tell it all in one shot. We'll focus on the goovs for now.

So we arrive at the rink and head on into the warming house. The goovers are warned to park it on the bench, no running wild, and they do. Ash and I quickly lace up, the reason why will be in my next blog. Yes, of course, my "creeper" was there. We head on out to the very poorly laid ice, and begin our ice/boot skating adventure!

The girls all seemed to have a good time, although we were back in this house by 5pm. We skated about five minutes when Tater spied the porta potty. "Auntie, I have to go potty really bad!" "No you don't. You just went." Two seconds later. "I really have to go potty NOW!" "Caitlin Ruthmarie, you just want to get a look at the porta potty. You aren't fooling me at all." Five seconds later "Please, I'm going to pee my pants." So I stomped off to the porta potty, as much as you can stomp on ice skates, undid the jacket, snagged the mitts as they fell toward the porta potty floor. EW! Helped her up and shut the door. I made her take her jacket off, it's just too gross to contemplate and it wasn't that cold. When she was done I took her out of the potty to redress her. Evil little....

So we stumble bumble back onto the ice and Tater sees a little boy she knows, so off she goes to torment him for awhile and the rest of us skate. Hannah seemed to do really well balancing on the ice, and it's time she got some new skates and really learned a couple of things. During this time I am continually calling Tater back to us, she's heading off to the shack, the hockey rink, anywhere else she can possibly go.

We took a pic and sent it off to the parents in sunny Las Vegas, and then Caitlin's little friend left. "I wanna go home. I'm tired. I wanna go home. I'm tired." Bah! So we packed it up. When we got to the car Ash and I were talking with Hannah, and Caitlin walked around the other side to get in. Then instead of getting in she sat down hiding. I about had a heart attack when she was suddenly "gone." We were standing not 10 feet from the highway. I raced around the car and there she is grinning at me. She is SO lucky that I am trained not to beat children. I barked at Ashlyn to "Get your sister buckled in." and quickly went to the other side to help Hannah. Caitlin was quiet for awhile, she's no dummy. :)

After a brief stop for milk at the gas station we were back home. It's raining now, so there will be no more outdoor adventures with the goovers. We will be trapped in the house for a couple days. HELP!

End Of An Era

Finally! I am no longer employed by the YMCA. Ok, technically I'm on vacation til the end of the week, but I'm not "working" there any longer! It's a weird feeling, elation mixed with relief, a little sadness, and a bit of apprehension. This is a big step out of my comfort zone! No matter how I feel about working there, it was familiar anyway.

I have given up my full time, full benefit, (including retirement) four week vacation job so that I can do something I love. Mind you, the old job probably wont exist in six months anyway so that's kind of a moot point. It might not look like bettering myself on paper, but believe me, it's for the better. I get to teach again, and it's what I do best. I get to be part of a team, and be surrounded by people with a positive attitude about what they do. I get to be a VALUED employee. Most importantly I can respect the people I work for, and myself for working there, and that's all I have to say about that! :)

Got Milk?

Well, I have gone and done it. Here she is folks, the infamous Got Milk. We call her Milky, or Miss Snooty Pants which really fits her to a T. I would like to change her name, but Milky just really fits her for some reason. I toyed with Molly, or Millie, but they just don't seem to fit.

Leon called yesterday afternoon to tell me they were on the way, and that Milky was in the front seat and NOT happy about it. "Maybe you should bring a box or something out when I get there." Hmmmm..... at the vet they wrap cats in a big towel if they're fractious. I contemplated using the new blanket Ti-Ti got her for Christmas, but Milky is really strong, and has a temper. All I could envision was me in tears, Leon yelling, and Milky running off down the snowy street. So I grabbed an AVON box and hoped for the best. That must have been an interesting car ride, with the unhappy cat in front and the dog in back who couldn't fathom why "that damn cat" was coming along.

Surprisingly it went as smooth as butter. Popped her in the box, scurried quickly into the house and let her out. She was glad to see me, rubbed up all over me, and started to explore. I filled up her new dishes and her new litter box, fed the dog, and settled down on the kitchen floor with both of them. Milky seemed genuinely happy to be here, but Sam was pissed. She moped for about an hour on the kitchen floor after finishing her dinner.

Leon always says Milky hates him, but if he could have seen her desperately trying to follow him and Sam when they left later last night he would know that isn't the case. She sniffed the door, she pawed the door, then she paced the house and kept running back to the door. Everything was o k when we went to bed though. She and I are old friends, and we've shared covers on several occasions. I can already tell that the bottom of the bed on the opposite side is going to be her spot in the house. She claimed it immediately and anytime I look for her that's where she's hanging out.

I had a bit of holiday cooking to do today and every time I was in the kitchen she was playing between my feet. It's nice to have company in the house. However, when I started taking loads to the car she tried like heck every time to get out the back door. :( I don't know if she was trying to run off, or come with. However, she was hiding under the bed when I got back. Poor baby. Gee, wait til next week when I'm gone a night or two and the girls are here a night or two. She'll have her country bags packed and ready to go!

So Milky and I are working on our first goal. Drinking out of the toilet is frowned upon in this establishment! I have to remember to put the seat down EVERY time, because she continually checks. Milky needs to learn that water bowls are the appropriate place to hydrate. :) Wait til she finds out that she's going on a diet! We'll leave that one until she's more settled in.

When I thanked Leon for giving me Milky it went like this: Thanks for giving me the cat...... I think. He laughed. I continued with, "I don't know if she will be my baby, or my nemesis, but she'll be company anyway."

Today she has been great company. It takes my mind off of things for a moment, although honestly there have been a lot of tears shed in the past two days for my kitties. Nothing can, or ever will replace them, but I have space left in my heart and home for Milky.

Blue Christmas

Here's another phrase that I have never really understood until now, being "blue" at Christmas time. I'm not sheltered. I have had loss in my life, and have had to learn how to re-tradition the holidays. I always miss my parents, my Grandma's, Aunt's, Uncle's, etc, etc,etc. There isn't a year that goes by without a tear or two upon hearing "I'll be home for Christmas." Heck, I've even been divorced and had to start my life over.....twice, but I have never felt like this. I have always decorated, found something else to focus on, and somehow dug up some holiday cheer.

I went to a Christmas party tonight with the girls, and some of their guys. It was a fun time, but I am really just going through the motions to please other people. I missed Leon terribly. It wasn't that I needed a partner at the party, I wasn't the only one without someone. I missed HIM being with me. Listening to him joke and talk with Don, his general goofiness, talking about it on the way home, etc etc etc.

When Misty died I turned Christmas over to my sister in law. I was just done. There have been a few brief moments of "Christmas Spirit" for me, but for the most part I just wish it was over. I feel like "Brick" from the show "The Middle". He whispers things under his breath, and I feel like that is what I'm doing every time I choke out Merry Christmas *bah humbug*. Happy Holidays *Go away*.

I was a pretty good girl this year, and I do believe that Santa is going to leave me a present under the gingerbread house. There isn't a tree this year. Milky the cat is coming to live with me tomorrow. Yes, she needs me. * I need her more*

Solitude

The silence was deafening.

I've never really understood that statement until now. I live alone, and I honestly like it. I am a people person, but only to an extent. I like my little cozy comfy home where I can retreat for days without seeing anyone if I wish. I love my own company. Frankly, I think I'm hilarious! I like quiet activities like writing and reading. However, I guess I wasn't technically alone. The "kids" were always here. Sam is sometimes here. While not human company, they are/were needy little buggers who filled the house with life.

Sam left at 9:15 last night. I don't think it was a half hour before it felt like a cold mausoleum in here. So I sat there "shrinking" myself. Are you afraid to be alone? Is that the problem? No. The problem is that I am a caretaker at heart. I need to be needed, or I need to have something to focus on other than myself. Probably more that last one actually. When adults get too needy, like say.....MEN, it is an absolute turn off to me. However, children (hence my job) and animals are allowed.

So I stood at Target for a LONG time staring at litter box liners. Yes, litter box liners. The cat I'm considering adopting uses the old yucky stuff, and the liner seems the easiest way to go. I picked up the box, put it in my cart. Took it out of the cart, put it on the shelf and walked away. Snagged an air mattress for one goover to sleep on next week while I play Mommy for 5 days, and then promptly went back and put the liners in my cart. They were still there at the check out, so apparently I've decided to take the damn cat.

Coping

This isn't a planned out blog, so I guess we'll see where it goes. As you all know, I have had a full plate the last two months. Everything in my life has changed. The only daily familiarities now will be the car I drive and the place I live. The car may be trying to leave too......but it would be nice if she could hang out until summer. For someone who HATES change, this is certainly a life lesson.

This gorgeous dog is Sam. She is my "peace", and my therapy at the moment. When I contacted Leon about Misty being put to sleep he asked what he could do to help. I asked for Sam, and she's been here with me ever since. I'm kind of hoping he gets amnesia and forgets where she went, but that isn't going to happen. :) I think though that she'll be able to visit me through the cold months because when she's in the country she has to be an outside dog. Leon is gone too long for work for this old dogs badder. She does really well with "joint custody". She's happy to be here with me, and doesn't do the mope thing so I assume she isn't homesick yet. Leon has visited her/us twice so it isn't like she hasn't seen him. If only for a short time. She honestly knows that I need her. I can't explain it, but she knows.

Leon calls Sam "The Love Dog" and that is the best way to describe her. She likes peace and harmony, and if people get hyper (me) or voices get raised even a little she gets right in the middle and stares at you. I hesitate to call her my "soul mate" lol but she and I have a very very strong bond. I have, and have had several other dogs in my life and they were just family pets. I loved them sure, but I wasn't overly attached to them.

As I mentioned before, Sam is no puppy. She is somewhere between 11 and 13 from what I can figure. No, he doesn't know. He'll tell you she's 18 and that can not be true. First of all, no matter how old she is, for a large dog she's ancient. I've noticed that just in the time we were apart she sleeps a lot harder. When I come in the front door she doesn't always greet me if she's in the back. The first day this happened I literally almost had a heart attack. I opened the door, no dog. (this is what happened when I came home to Misty) My heart starts to race. I yell out "Sammy!" No dog. I start to get dizzy, my mind was racing, and my tummy turned over. I'm now running through the dining room as she comes around the corner and out my bedroom door, groggily. Now I'm on the floor hugging her and crying. Geez. Yes, that would have been the point where I "dropped my basket" and some "nice young men in their clean white coats" would have been "coming to take me away!"

I think Sam is going home tomorrow. So I'll be praying for below zero temps. :) Sorry everyone. You know it's gonna happen anyway, so don't blame me. Leon is still hoping that I will take the cat (Milky) but it just isn't the same. She would be company though, so I am still considering it.

New Begining!

Free at last, free at last! The YMCA can........ you follow the general train of thought.

You, dear readers, are reading the blog of the newest member of the University Child Care team!! I will be teaching preschool again. My own class, my own lessons, my own assistant, MINE, MINE, MINE! I have been so excited, and I've had to keep it mostly to myself for SEVEN weeks. Do you have any idea how hard that was to do? For the first three weeks only my sister, the teacher I work with, and "Missy Christy" at work knew about it. She and I have been helping each other make some decisions about where our work lives should go. Incidentally, she and one assistant also gave notice this week. While not planned that way, it is a good shot of Karma for sure.

In 2000 I took over the lead preschool teaching position at the Y, and it is by far my favorite age to work with. I loved teaching the kids new things and watching them grow. Five years later, the district brought in 4K, pushing me to an assistant position in the room in the morning, and then taking over when 4K left off. I would "teach" when they weren't in session, and during the summer. I lived for the summer. I have a lot of comments about 4K in general, and about some of the teaching styles, skills, of the teachers (8) who came through our program. I'm going to choose to keep them out of here. If you know me, you KNOW. :) 4K has it's own room at UCC, I will have the 3's and the 4 and 5 year olds when they aren't in 4K.

This past summer we learned that the daycare was facing eviction from the college because they are expanding their dorms. Then in the fall for a time I got stuck with the two year olds. UGH! I have little faith that the Y will bother to open another center, so the job hunt began. I had a few nanny opportunities, and then this little gem fell into my lap. When I first contemplated it, and tried to decide which road to take I woke in the middle of the night because I was so excited at the possibility of teaching full time again, my own class, my own lesson plans, my own room. I knew right then what I really wanted to do when I grew up.

I have worked for the YMCA for 22 years. *minus 6 month sanity break in '99* I have worked with every age group, including latchkey. I also spent two summers as the Day Camp director. It has been an interesting ride, and I will miss the kids I am currently hanging out with everyday, but it is more than time to move on. It's going to be great looking forward to going to work each morning!

My last official day is Dec 31. I will start the new year at UCC! My technical last day is Tuesday December 28. I only have four more actual work days to go!!!!!!!

Tomorrow

One of my favorite songs to belt out! ♫ Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow! You're only a day away! ♫ Tomorrow is a big day for me, but I cant tell you until tomorrow. :)

On a sad note, even though tomorrow is going to be the start of something new and exciting, I also have to go and pick Misty's ashes up after work.

I said to Jennifer the other day, I wonder what the problem is that God totally cleared my life out. Can it really be for one little black cat??? She looked at me and said, not problem, plan. His plan for you. Ok, plan then.

Well, I have a plan and it begins tomorrow! It remains to be seen what the man upstairs has in store for me, but I'm sure my feet are on the right path.

Misty

~Misty June 25, 1993 - December 8 2010

I was planning out a blog, using this very picture. It was going to be a funny piece about how I am becoming a "crazy cat lady". Living alone with the cat who could never leave my side we had some great conversations that usually ended with me saying "Right Misty?" and answering myself with a laugh, "Right Mama."

I thought she would be sucked to my side forever, I at least thought she'd drive me crazy for a few more years. I couldn't have been more wrong. I came home Wed night to a very sick cat. We rushed her over to the emergency vet, and found out that she was in kidney failure. Apparently she must have been sick for some time, although she never honestly showed any sign of it. Kate was here for some time last Sat night, I asked her if she thought Misty acted sick, but she didn't notice anything either. I guess the only thing I've noticed since Pepper died was that she was on me ALL the time, and most of it she slept. THAT was different. Cats are supposed to sleep a lot, but that fireball seemingly just cat napped so she could keep her eye on things. I thought she was sleeping more because she was depressed.

As I told the vet to put her to sleep, with tears streaming down my face, he made a comment about admiring my quiet strength. All I could envision was tearing that room apart and screaming loud enough to bring down the heavens. Throwing the biggest temper tantrum anyone had ever seen.

The house is too quiet, even though I've only spent two nights alone. Leon kindly loaned me Sam for a few days to help me cope. My home just feels like an empty house. Sam is my peace, but she isn't mine, I can't keep her. It helps though.

So I have lost my "Mistydoodle". She was a loving cat, very much Mama's owner in her mind, a lap cat, a very very naughty cat, and a horrible shedder. For the first two years of her life I had to put the garbage can in the den at night or over it would go. I'd be in bed two minutes and "thump". She was the queen of rebel poop, and she placed her bombs very carefully. Usually somewhere my x husband would stumble into them. :) I had a hard time being too harsh about that........

While they ran tests at the vet I had a good twenty minutes to hold her, all wrapped up in a towel like a baby. She dozed, and we talked of many things. I told her how much I loved her, and how much I would miss her, but that she could go and play with her brother now. I'm sure he was glad to see her.

Good bye my little peanut. My lap is so empty without you. Til we meet again.

Duct Tape

Enough is enough!

I finally feel like myself again. I've had the image of Anne Boleyn stuck in my head since I wrote my last blog. I should copy it off and put it somewhere that I will see it every day.

I may have had my head lopped off, but I own duct tape, and I know how to use it! Yes, it's bruised, it's not on straight, that's for sure, but most importantly it's attached and not the end of ME! The time for wallowing is over. It's time for this Queen to dust herself off and get back to the business at hand. *checking the duct tape, yep it's on tight* I am about to take firm control of my kingdom and my future, and I am SO ready!
Changes are a comin' my friends..........