2011

If I'm writing one last blog this year I'd better get moving!  I honestly didn't think I would make it up to see the ball drop in NYC, but this cold hasn't totally kicked my butt.  Just enough to ruin my New Years Eve plans, and end me up home alone, which is what I was trying to avoid in the first place.  Hence the dating adventure.....   So I will give Milkie my midnight kiss, and try to collect on a rain check some other midnight. 

I have nothing to ponder, nothing to preach, no story to tell....... oh, well.  Yeah, did I tell you the one about "Blue Eyes" being a total dud and disappearing into the sunset?  I think I'm just going to start calling them "Bachelor", as in Bachelor#1 etc.  So Bachelor #1 was a dud.  I missed out on meeting Bachelor #2 because of the cold.  As I told a good friend earlier today, "I'm sure we are going to see high bachelor numbers, because I am not going to settle for anything less than spectacular."  He wished me luck with that, and I said "You know what I mean.  I'm not looking for Prince Charming."  I certainly realize he doesn't exist.  What I'm looking for is that connection, and honestly someone worth my time.  Someone who might actually put me first on occasion.  That would be a refreshing change. :) 

I have taken all of 2011 to spend time getting to know myself better.  I really didn't intend to take that much time, but apparently it was needed.  It hasn't been my favorite year...... I'm glad it's leaving.  I'm looking forward to everything that 2012 has to offer.  

The best part of 2011?  Re-connecting with myself, and getting to know some old friends all over again.  ♥Beecharmer you rock. 

Live in the moment!

J

Resolutions

I read this quote on a friend's facebook page.  (Thanks Emma!)  It's several of the popular sayings of the day rolled into one, and I like it, so I'm going to share it with you.  It kind of fits with my New Years resolution.

Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain, cherish the moment, ignore the pain, live, laugh, love, forgive& forget life is to short to be living with regrets ♥

While I do remember to live my life along the lines above, I spend too much time on autopilot.  I have a really hard time "living in the moment".  It's a coping mechanism I suppose, and it gets me through the day, that's for sure.  When it's hectic in the classroom it's easy for me to switch to auto and go to my "happy place".  :)  When I want to strangle a co-worker, or another adult who is annoying me, I just slip away instead.

So the only resolution I'm making this year is to work harder at "living in the moment."  I'm going to try and be an active participant in my life, all of it.  So I guess that's fair warning.  If you are acting like an idiot and annoying me, well.... you might just get strangled. :) If you are wondering if that pertains to you, it probably does. 

I had already planned this as my resolution, but after Barb's death this week, I'm all the more determined.  I will not waste one more minute of this life God gave me, not when she, and so many others, have had to leave this world early, without even a chance to fight.

Thank you for reading, and for sticking with me through 2011.  It was a hell of year.  I'm looking forward to 2012!  May you all have a happy and safe New Year's weekend, and LIVE in the moment!

♥ Jo

Nod and Smile

~Barbara Jean Goddard Stahl
November 23, 1967 - December 28, 2011

Life always has a way of putting things back into the proper perspective.  The dating woes of "Does he like me?",  "Do I like him?", really don't matter at all in the large picture.  What will be will be.  We can try our best to muddle along, but in the end, what will be will be.

This afternoon I found out that an old friend of mine died yesterday, from a sudden illness.  We worked together in the early nineties at the "Y", and were even roommates from '91-'93.  She is one of two people I've ever shared my space with on a permanent basis, if you don't count family.

Of course, as people do, we lost touch over the years.  I bought my first home, and she started subbing for the school district on a regular basis, so she was done working for the "Y".  We would run into each other from time to time at the store and do the quick catch up.

The things that stuck with me about her over time were her neat freakness, :)  and how much she wanted to be a teacher, and settle down with a husband and family of her own.  She achieved all of those things, and now leaves behind stunned students, a husband and two children.  According to her obituary she was preceded in death by a son.  That I did not know.  It had been quite some time since I had run into her, and we didn't hang out in the same circles.

Strangely enough I saw her three weeks ago when I had my car in at Walmart to replace the battery.  She was in the clothing aisle with her daughter, and I was on the main aisle heading back to pick up my car.  She was busy, I was in a hurry, and while we noticed each other, we just did the "nod and smile".  I see you, you see me, we're both too busy to chat but hey, take care.  You don't think about it in the moment, but I sure regret that today.  You think I would know that lesson by now.  Take a minute, say hello, say good-bye, do not leave things undone or unsaid, do not just assume you will have another chance, because in the end what will be will be.

While I haven't spent time with you in a long time, I will miss you Barb.  I'm glad you found the life you always wanted, and I'm so sorry that you had to leave it.  Rest in peace my friend. ♥

Christmas Magic

I had the title for this blog all picked out, and a different story to tell, but something happened last night to change all that.  Yes, I met someone this week.  Yes, we had a date last night to go out for Chinese and look at Christmas lights.  Yes, he's great.....  more than great.  So I was going to write a blog about dating and taking chances, and all that blah, blah, blah, when something else happened.

Last night, hmmm..... a name for him?  Blue eyes will do nicely.  Last night when Blue Eyes left it was probably around twelve thirty.  I shut off the Christmas lights, straightened up a little and headed off to bed.  It was dark in the apartment, but a bright light shone through the bedroom window.  I walked over, moved back the drapes, and was stunned.  There before me was the Christmas star.  Nothing else in the sky, just this brilliant star.  I've never seen anything like it.

Elise sent me a clip about a comet, and that's probably what it was......but in the moment all I could think of was the Christmas Star.  I stood there staring, in stunned silence, for a moment or two, and then I began a wish that turned into a prayer, and for the first time in years I felt my spirit lighten.  That's the only way I can explain it. 

After watching the star for awhile I got ready for bed.  I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth and gave Milkie a drink from the sink. (She is so odd.)  When I came back to the bedroom the light was gone.  Strange.  I threw open the drapes again, and the star was still there, but it was just a regular old star in the sky.

I tried the thirty days of thankful to get myself into a better frame of mind and it helped some. I worked hard at Christmas Spirit, and it helped more. I saw the star, prayed straight from my heart, and when I woke up this morning whatever it is that has been dragging me down for years is gone from my soul. Gone. 

So there's my Christmas Magic.  A small miracle actually.  Comet or no, something happened last night that will stay with me always.  I hope that you all have had a very Merry Christmas, and will keep a bit of it's magic in your own hearts for the rest of the new year.

Milk and Cookies

This blog should have been published yesterday on Christmas Eve, but some little elves got into my computer and took it down for a day.  Santa Bumpie fixed it all up this evening during Christmas dinner.  Thanks David! 



Here she is Milk fans!  Ashlyn took this picture of Milkie on Christmas Eve morning.  Isn't she adorable?  We all think so, and she was very well behaved while the girls were sleeping over, and for that matter when we had company last night, and when the whole clan was here today.  The last few months have really brought a change in this ornery kitty.

Milkie came to live with me last Christmas Eve.  We have had some interesting moments, but seem to have FINALLY bonded.  She isn't my nemesis or my baby.  She's a little something in between, which keeps things interesting.  I think I'll keep her.  :)

Christmas Carols

This blog has been two weeks in the making.  For the first time ever I was able to get to all five of the kids Christmas concerts.  I made a big effort to make that happen, in the spirit of the Christmas Spirit experiment.  Say that five times fast!

I started out back in my old stomping grounds last Wednesday.  Paul attends Cathedral, where I went to junior high.  Nothing about that place ever changes, including the smells.  When I become rich and famous I am going to build them an auditorium with seats.  Those bleachers get worse to sit on every year, and they were horrid when I was 12.

The Artist Formerly Known as Pablo is on the right wearing a blue shirt, behind the girls.  He always looks so darn serious! It was a nice concert, even if we were packed in like sardines, and I had to park four blocks away. :)  Great way to kick off my holiday concert mission.  Especially with the religious Christmas music.  You know, an actual CHRISTMAS PROGRAM!

Last Friday I left work early and headed out to Lake Superior Elementary to attend Caitin and Hannah's concert.  This is my favorite school to go to by far for this sort of thing because I absolutely love their music teacher, and they have brought back traditional Christmas carols.  Including one she wrote for the kids about the Packers.  ♫ Vikings better luck next year, fa la la la la, la la la la! ♫  No, I didn't make that up.    

Caitlin is definitely the drama queen of this group of five. She is on the right, middle child. I wasn't able to get a picture of her "performing", but you know that child that everyone watches because they are standing out in the crowd? Yeah.... She even raised her arms at the end of one of the songs. I just looked at her mother and said, "I don't have any idea where she gets that from." :)

Here is our shy flower Hannah, complete with Packer Santa hat.  All the kids came back for a group sing along at the end, dressed in Packer gear, and sat around the entire gym.  She just happened to be sitting in back of our row!  I had to do a little backward camera maneuver, but the chair held and I got the pic!  Oh, their teachers name is Ms. Putzke (spelling wrong I'm sure).  If your child is lucky enough to have her, be thankful!  I would like to be her when I grow up!

This past Monday night was Ashlyn's orchestra concert!  This year she is in two of the three groups, so I got to see her perform for most of the evening.  These concerts can go up to two and a half hours long, but this one was just about perfect at the hour mark.  I can't tell you how proud I am of her, and her work with the violin.  Last year she was even concert master of the group she was in.  Someday I'm going to get the chance to thank her teacher/conductor, who I know pushes her to be the best that she can be.  I couldn't get a picture of Ash with her violin, but I will over Christmas if she brought it home to play for us!  I guess we'll find out shortly since they're sleeping over tonight.

Last, but not least, I attended CeCe's Holiday program at Bryant school on Wednesday.  There she is with her assistant, Mrs. S.  (God bless her) I sat in that darn freezing gym for just about an hour on a broken chair, before the program even started, so that she could see us and know we were there.  She did see us, and even gave me a "butt" when she was looking at me.  I taught her how to say that.....and now she sometimes uses it when referring to me.  Not exactly how that one was supposed to go!  Luckily her teachers probably think it's just part of her babbling.......ha.  Not so much.  Mary, if you're reading this don't tell.  lol  That was the first time I had the opportunity to get to one of her concerts, and it did leave me pretty teary eyed.  My kids all did a great job, but this was a bit extra special for me.  Her strides are much smaller, but in other ways so much bigger.

If you're a facebook friend of mine you know that there are some other interesting things happening in my life right now, and I promise I will get to that next.  A little Christmas magic perhaps?

Shhhh it's a Secret!

Last week at work we did Secret Santa.  I can't imagine that there's anyone out there who doesn't know what that is, but for those few of you I will explain.  It's when adults (usually co-workers) get together, pick names secretly, and then leave little gifts for the person whose name you chose during a predetermined time.  Usually starts on a Monday and then ends on a Friday.  The daily gifts are a dollar or so, then ten dollars for the big "reveal" present.  Unless of course you work on Wall Street..... I do not.  :)

So I picked Annie, and she made it difficult, because besides for her fondness of snack food, I don't know her very well.  We had a questionnaire to fill out and she put a lot of sarcastic silly things.  I'm pretty sure if I put booze in her stocking that one, or both of us would have been fired.  The only thing she really wanted for Christmas was Rick. (her husband)  So I loaded her up a bag of AVON for her big present, and then at our Christmas party I had  Rick come up with me and give her a big kiss.  I hunted through my closet for a red bow, but couldn't find one.

I figured out on Wednesday who my Santa was.  When I got to work there was a mostly eaten candy cane on my desk. (Tom) Tom isn't doing the Santa thing, so I deduced that Jen gave Tom a candy cane after she put a PILE (yea!) of them in my stocking, and true to Tom form he left the evidence right on my desk.  She herself confirmed it on Thursday by leaving me pens.  Hmmmm..... there's only ONE person who continually steals my pens.  Unless someone has heard me giving her a hard time about it.........  Then on Friday I got a *drum roll* paper punch!  Yes!  Score!  Jen for sure, I must use hers once a week for something.  In my big gift at the party I got a bailey's mini, an ice hole mini, some candles, and the movie Risky Business.  That is an inside joke, and it was hilarious!!!! 

When we  were kids I would always sneak around and find my presents before Christmas.  I didn't care, it never ruined anything for me.  I was just that much more excited knowing that I'd gotten what I'd asked for.  This is the first year that I've been on my own where I've gotten myself a few things to go under the tree.  I wont let myself touch any of it until Christmas, so it still has a little excitement to it.  I'm not, and never have been really big on the whole surprise thing. 

We've had rain for days and it's finally snowing!  This working on Christmas spirit thing has been going well, I'm hoping for a white Christmas to go with it!!!

Bless the Beasts and Children

I think that is the title of a Christmas carol, but I could be wrong about that.  It could be the title for a book about my life. HMMMMMMmmmmm 

I am spending a few days playing stay at home Mom while my sister is in the cities getting all the hardware in her head checked out.  She has to do this every six months right now, just to make sure everything is where it should be.  In the past I have tried to work during these days, but it is just too darn stressful.  The real reason I don't have kids: I never in my life want to be a full time working Mom.  I've never been in a place where that wouldn't have to be the case, thus no kids.  It isn't the only reason, but it's the biggie.  That and the "I haven't met the man I would want to share joint custody with." reason.  Although that might not be the case anymore.  There are actually two that I could think of offhand, and that has to be some kind of a miracle. :)  NO, my biological clock is NOT ticking.  That thing wound down years ago. 

Cbiscuit has been a very good girl so far.  Now that she's on different medication we don't have to get up three times every night.  That is a major bonus.  Sleeping in my sisters room with the two dogs, is not.  The new one, Buddy, went insane when I tried to kennel him.  Once I got him in there I swear he would have chewed me to pieces if he had managed to get out.  I thought, "Oh here we go." but then he settled in.  Sky slept down by him, so it was all good for about two hours.  Then Sky climbed up with me, and while Buddy didn't carry on he thumps around a LOT in the kennel, waking me up every half hour or so.  Plus I'm not fond of sleeping with hundred pound dog who traps the covers. 

When I left today to come home and visit with Milkie, we again had WW3 at kennel time.  I even had his favorite treat.  I tossed it in, but he wouldn't go.  Then we just sat sadly together outside of the kennel door.  I told him I know he misses his Mama, and that he just needed to be a good boy, and we snuggled a bit, til I shoved him in.  All Kujo on me again and I just had to hold the door shut til he stopped and I could latch it.  Tom mentioned that his attitude is driving them crazy, and they hope it will settle down once he has his little procedure next month.  I forgot about that.  Poor Buddy. :) 

Milkie is pissed off with a capital P.  I was gone all night and I came home smellin' like dogs.  Wait til she figures out that I'm leaving again shortly and will be gone until tomorrow..... While she hasn't bitten me in almost a month, I'm pretty sure that's how this is all going to end.

So my sister is currently having the angeogram, hopefully things will all just be status quo.  We usually have a reprieve between these episodes, and are certainly due.  I am about to go and take a shower for the final step in my hair coloring procedure.  I don't know why I couldn't be happy as a stay at home Mom, this is not tough.  The boredom is what would get me, within a week.

Oh look, Milkie is in the Christmas tree again.......  *sigh*

When we said prayers last night I said "Bless Mama and Papa, and GOD HELP AUNTIE".   Whether CC understood that or not, she laughed her head off.

Pay it Forward

Wow...... this afternoon I am humble.  In the last two days I have had so many people take a couple of minutes out of their own day to help me with mine that it is amazing.  Most of them with offers of help that weren't even asked for, and the few people I did ask were more than eager to lend a hand.

I started my day as usual, up with no time to spare, get ready, heat up some coffee, grab the lunch and out the door.  That's where the trouble started.  Two degrees above zero, and a dead car in the garage.  On a warmer day I would have called work laughing and said "Yep, I'll be walking and you'll see me when I get there."  It can't even be a mile from here.  Instead it was, "I'm going to make a few calls and I'll get back to you."  Trying the old stand by's, Steve (no answer) and Kate (I can get ya at 8:30, Tom is working and I have to get CC on the bus.) weren't available, so I thought well.... Darrin does just live two blocks down, but it went to voicemail.  Bah. 

Of course I notice that the phone battery is now showing yellow. (great) I am also freezing my butt off outside.  So I decide to come in, drink the quickly cooling coffee, bundle up a little more, and call work.  I walk in the door, take a swig of said coffee, and my phone rings.  It's a number I don't know.  Oh well, what the heck?  It was Amanda from work.  She had called in to work to say she was running behind, and April told her to swing by and grab me!  "Do you need a ride?"  :)

Yesterday was our Christmas, oh I'm sorry, Holiday Program.  The kids did a fantastic job!  This presented another problem.  Anna (of course because you can ALWAYS count on Anna) told me she would grab me when she was finished with work, bring me to the program, and then take me on over to the Christmas party at Aces afterwards.  So that was covered.  She also brought me home. :)

There was a possibility that I would have to work a little later, so Kate couldn't grab me from work.  CeCe and the dang bus again. :)  Hmmmm.....  so I texted Steve and he said he'd grab me at 4.  Then later in the day it looked like he would be working late and I would be stuck, but when Christy saw me waiting she offered me a ride home.  So thanks to Christy and Mark for getting me home from work.

My brother and I touched base during the day, and this morning he and the artist formerly known as Pablo pushed my car out of the garage and gave it a jump.  He also gave me the jumper cables to keep, and followed me to Walmart where I got a new battery installed.  It was fun to watch Jerry teach Paul about the cables, how they work, and then watching him let Paul take the last ones off.

Paul and I (he's nine) talked about Santa, and before I could even start I got  "You can stop, the jig is up."  I reminded him that "If you do not believe, you do not receive." So then he changed his tune a little. 

My friend Melanie had some issues with the Walmart service center last week, so I was a little nervous, (plus it's Walmart) but it went really smooth, friendly people, and I even got a quote on the tires which is actually do-able once the xmas season is over.  (Please God hear that one.)  I had to wander the Walmart for an hour, and I was terrified.  However, I found that when I'm browsing and people watching, the Walmart is the place to be.  It's when I'm fighting the Walmartians that the trouble starts.

So a big thanks to all of you who helped me get from A to B to C to DEFG yesterday!  I really appreciate it, and I am looking for the opportunity to pay it forward this Christmas season!  I'll blog about the program/evening another time.  First I wanted to say thanks.  OH, how could I forget!?  In twenty years working at the YMCA I never received as much as a Christmas card.  This year I received a Walmart gift card from the owner, and an Ace's card from the director.  A parent that I don't even know paid for our first round of drinks! ( There's an idea for you parents out there who want to show appreciation LOL) So my dinner was paid for, and the Walmart card helped me out of a financial predicament today.  The gifts were nice and much appreciated.  However, knowing that I and my hard work are appreciated is priceless.  :)

Blankie

It's my younger brother ( by 14 months) birthday today!  It's only fitting to wish him a Happy Birthday, for without him I never would have had my blankie.  Happy Birthday Wing Nut (he loves that)!  You should come and hang out with me and the other Republicans some time. Maybe all three of you together would make sense to me....... but I doubt it.  :)  So I raise my coffee cup to my brother Jerry.   You were born in a snowstorm, and have been roaring ever since.  Love ya man, Happy Birthday!

My Mom actually had to walk behind my dad for two blocks in a snowstorm, while in labor, to get to the highway where a cop car picked them up to take them to the hospital.  He has always been trouble.

Anyway, enough about him.  The green elephant blankie is 41 years old, because it was actually given to my baby brother Jerry when he was born.  No, I didn't steal it.  When my Mom covered him up with the very silky blanket it would slide up over his head during the night.  She didn't care for that, so the blanket was tossed over to me.  I have no recollection of that, but I have no childhood memory without blankie.

I was not allowed to drag my blankie hither and yon.  Mom made me keep it in my bedroom.  Apparently I brought it to Aunt Mary's once and they forgot it, causing much mayhem, so I was never allowed to bring it out of the house again.  This is probably why it's still (barely) in one piece. 

Oh I loved my blankie!  I can still remember running my fingers over the silky ribbon on the edge to fall asleep.  The cool silk sliding between my fingers.  I slept with that blankie until I was eleven years old.  That's junior high folks.  :)  I am not ashamed.  It was my comfort.  We all need to learn to self soothe in some way, and that was mine.  At least it wasn't a wash cloth.  I'm not going to tell who THAT one is aimed at.  She will know, and it's not my sister. 

When I was eight or nine blankie developed a hole, and my mean old mother wouldn't fix it.  So I learned to sew and put on the kitty patch.  My Dad used to joke that he would carry it down the aisle with him when he gave me away.  Well, that didn't get to happen.  Not that I would have let him touch my blankie anyway. :)  But I thought of that on my wedding day(s).  Dad and blankie proudly marching me down the aisle.

I mentioned above that I only used blankie until I was eleven.  Then one day I just decided to fold her up and put her in a drawer.  Over the years I have moved seven times, and I always have had blankie with me, and I always know where she is.  I only see her once or twice a year when I go into that drawer, but I know she's there.

I have a new blankie these days, it's a sweatshirt that I nabbed from my sister years ago.  Her brother in law got it for her in Vegas and it didn't really fit her right.  Well, it didn't fit me either, I'm drowning, but I love it!  I would wear it often, but since Sam has passed I find myself wearing it to bed every night. (I"m still wearing it)  I had to sew a sleeve a few weeks back, and now there's an underarm hole that needs attention.  I'll fix it, because I'm not ready to give up this blankie yet.  No, I don't want to replace it.  Nothing else will feel so soft and cozy! 

So thanks again for the blankie Gerald!  Hope you have a great day!!

Love, your bleeding heart liberal sister. :)

Talking Turkey

Last night happy hour had a different twist!  It was time to make some turkey soup with my sista!  I headed on over with my share of the ingredients, and of course my laundry, for a fun filled evening of soup, talking, dogs, C-biscuit, laughing tears, and wine.  One glass for me, because even though I can tolerate the taste of Zinfandel, something about wine just does not sit well with me.  It makes me "spinny" and "icky" feeling all over.  My sister on the other hand had a couple of glasses, which is always funny to see since she's pretty much a non-drinker. 

I like to amuse myself, so every day my notification ring tone for texts is something different.  Yesterday I had it set to "The Grinch".  It had gone off a few times in my pocket, but I guess she hadn't heard it.  When I went to ladle the finished soup into large storage containers I had set my phone to charge on the counter near where Kate was sitting.  Things were quiet, then all of a sudden ♫ You're a mean one Mr. Grinch♫  I can't (obviously) show you the tone in my sisters voice, but it was definitely a did you just hear that or am I losing it kind of sound.  "Do you hear someone singing?  What is that?"  Now I wanted to reply with "Singing?"  but I couldn't.  I lost it and laughed til I cried.  She's a hoot when she's tipsy. 

Actually she's a hoot when she's sober.  She uses a phrase that drives me nuts. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"  So last night I just said, "No."  Puzzled look from Kate.  Then I continued, "No, I don't understand what you're saying, I'm an idiot, but you're going to say it 20 more times anyway, so I'll catch on eventually."  "Oh, I hate you guys." (How Tom got lumped in there when he wasn't home is beyond me.)  "Oh, are you not talking to me then?"  "Yes I'm still talking to you."  "Damn, I'll have to try harder."

Buddy the puppy is getting so big.  He jumped up on me and laid his head on my chest.  He's a boob man, go figure.  :)  He's going to be a tall boy for sure.  He bosses Sky around like nobodies business, poor Sky.  He never gets to be the boss of anyone, not even Buddy when he was a few weeks old.  Buddy sometimes will try and show dominance with Tom, and he tried it on me when I went to put them outside.  Started the wild barking and jumping, yeah.... we established pretty quickly how that was all going to go.  He's a good dog, and I slapped my hands together and spoke with authoritay (spelled wrong on purpose) "Buddy, get in that house." He moved, quick, in the correct direction.  So dumb, he's not.

In two weeks I have to spend two overnights with "the unholy trio".  In some ways I look forward to it, in most I don't.  I love them all from my own home just fine. :)  Kate is heading back to the cities for her semi-annual angeogram to check on all the clips and coils that make up her brain.  So I will play Mama Auntie while she whoops it up at Abbott Northwestern.  I took the second day off of work so I can recuperate from it.  "Do you understand what I'm saying?"  :)

The Christmas Spirit

I think it has actually been Christmas "season" since about mid October.  It gets earlier every year, and I for one don't care for it.  We can't even let Thanksgiving be a proper holiday anymore.  Christmas just butts right in and takes over the minute the dishes are done, if not before.  Jen, the kids, and I have been practicing for our "Holiday" program ( Heaven forbid anyone call it a Christmas program) for weeks now, and I think we're all a little sick of it, but those kids know their songs!  They are such a great group that I even wrote one for them called "It's Christmas Time" to the tune of "Sweet Caroline".  ♫ It's Christmas time, ho-ho-ho ♫  I don't stress about the programs any more, because I've learned over the years that no matter what they do they are cute.  I just feel better if they at least know the words (me too....I am usually the one who screws up) so some of them might actually perform for the audience.

As I mentioned in my last blog, I am trying really hard to find, and keep the Christmas spirit.  The spirit of giving, of family, of love, of joy, etc.  Two weeks ago I was seriously considering hum-bugging it again.  The thought of getting into the Christmas boxes, having to see Misty and Pepper's stockings.... my Mom made them, and mine too for that matter.  I thought maybe instead of facing it I would just skip it, til death do us part.  That really isn't me though, and enough is enough.  It didn't kill me to see them, although in the end I couldn't take mine out, or turn one of theirs into Milkie's.  So the rest of the decorations are up, just not the stockings this year.

My little tree, that was my Mom's, is up.  I am still not sure about it.  This time it's the cat, not my delicate sensibilities.  She just will not stop biting the branches.  I see her and yell and she goes to the back of the tree and turns her back to me.  (little shit)  I put a few colored balls on yesterday to see what she would do, and she has left them alone so far.  She also hasn't touched it when it was lit (fried kitty) so that's good.  I may put a few more things on it tonight.

I decided to dedicate more space to the village this year, so I think I'll work on that tonight while I watch "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."  I still love watching the holiday cartoons, no matter how cranky I am.  Funny thing is though, I'm not cranky.  Not at all.  Once I  made this decision a kind of peace has settled over me.  Ok, that may have something to do with having a four day weekend where I just focused on relaxing!  Whatever, I am thankful for it and hope I can keep it for a long while.