My biggest struggle in life is usually trying too hard to see the point in what is going on. I always want to know the "why" of things. The last couple of days with Max the dog has reminded me of a poem about a tapestry. It's about God weaving the tapestry and how we are only able to see the under side of it, but when we meet our maker all things are supposed to become clear. We will get to see the picture. Sometimes on this earth after enough time goes by, we are able to see the reasoning. The old adage, everything happens for a reason, and all that jazz. A lot of things do, and a lot of things are random, even cruel. No earthly reason can apply to things like the death of a child, rape, murder, and the like.
This isn't anything heavy or important, it's just about a dog. I want a dog, and the universe seemed to plop the perfect one right in my lap. I knew it would be tough for me to keep him given my current working and home situations. Kerri dropped him off on Saturday telling me she couldn't keep him overnight anymore, all about her, not the dog. This wasn't an issue to me, since I wanted to keep him so badly. Max was a good boy while here, but would whine the minute I went out of sight, just for even a minute in the bathroom. I couldn't imagine what would happen Monday morning when I had to go to work. I couldn't have a dog crying or barking in a 4plex, and it isn't like I could come home every day and re-assure him or let him out either, because in reality I can't. So I had to find him a permanent foster home by Sunday night at least. He was excited to meet Milkie...... uh, she did not feel the same. I've never heard her hiss like that, and I'm glad when he nudged her she was under the comforter, or he'd have battle scars for sure.
Max and I went over to visit my sisters' family, and he was an instant fit. Their dog Sky loved him, Cierra, who is usually uncaring about such things, stood at the gate waiving at him saying "HI" over and over. Kate and Tom immediately agreed to be a foster family until his was found, or to keep him if one wasn't. With the stipulation that I understood two things. 1. He was their dog and I could not change my mind if I was able to keep him at some point down the road. 2. If anything went wrong they were free to return him to me a.s.a.p. I had no problem with either of those things. Living at the Dorin's is kind of like staying at a luxury hotel for an animal. I knew he would be well cared for and well loved, and the bonus would be he would be in my life permanently.
Kate and Tom had some plans, so I agreed to stay with the dogs for the evening and ran home to get some laundry. My cell rang as soon as I got back, ARF had found his owner. They wanted me to drop Max there for the exchange but I refused. I told them to give the dude my cell number and he could come to me. What if he wasn't their dog? ARF was closing at four. I could see him stuck there for the night and ARF taking custody of him, with us ending up paying $125 to get him back, while he sat stuck for a few weeks. Yeah, I don't think so. When something is "mine" or I perceive it that way I go right into protective lioness mode. Not something I can help, it's automatic. The gal at ARF was going to argue, but when I get like that you might as well forget it.
So Max, who is actually Lance, went home around three yesterday. It was cute, when I asked him "Hey, is your name Lance?" He jumped up on me, looking relieved that I finally got it. Kate and Tom were a little sad and said a brief goodbye on their way out the door. I, on the other hand was devastated. Is it pms? Could be. Do I really just want a dog that badly? Possible, but I know a lot of dogs and this is only the second one that I have bonded with like that. When his owner picked him up (I did recognize the truck, it was the one driving slow around Kerri's neighborhood Friday night that I ran around the house to catch, but missed.) Max (He will always be Max to me.) obviously knew them, but didn't make much of a fuss about it. It kind of concerned me. He also kept turning to look at me as they left, and I had to quickly get myself back into the house before I lost it. In my mind he should have been much more excited to see them and go home. It will bother me for awhile. He was more excited to see me when he got out of Kerri's car a few hours earlier.
So what was the point of all that? Pretty convoluted just to get ol' Max home. His owner would have found him with us on Friday if that was the only thing. I don't need any reminders either about how much I would like to have a dog of my own.
Then something happened today. My sister and her husband are really now seriously talking about getting a second dog. It was obvious how much Sky needs a playmate. Having my Max at their house really showed them the kind of dog they need. Today, Kate found an adult male retriever online here in Superior, and his name? You wont believe it, but it's true. It's Max. She's emailed to get more information about him to see if he will fit into their family. Stay tuned. The whole episode could very well have been to get them to him. God works in mysterious ways, and I guess I don't mind being a bit player in that one. Except I really, really, REALLY wanted that dog.
My friend Nancy said to me something like, but you're glad he found his owners...really. Honestly? Nope. That's the thing about me. Oh, I'm glad they don't have to worry, blah, blah, blah....but no. I want what I want and I can never understand why I can't have it. That's what makes me "The Queen of the World." I guess. That dog was blocks from home and chose not to go back for whatever reason. We were outside for four hours with him, he was not tied up. He's not a dummy, he knew where to go, I'm sure of it. As sure as I am that if he gets out again he will head right back to Kerri......... and I don't really know what I would do about that. "He's not your dog." says my sister. Yep, and Milkie wasn't my cat either, but she wont ever be returned to someone who doesn't care for her properly. Even if she is more roommate than pet, and occasionally my nemesis. She will always have a safe roof over her head, with me.
Max and I went over to visit my sisters' family, and he was an instant fit. Their dog Sky loved him, Cierra, who is usually uncaring about such things, stood at the gate waiving at him saying "HI" over and over. Kate and Tom immediately agreed to be a foster family until his was found, or to keep him if one wasn't. With the stipulation that I understood two things. 1. He was their dog and I could not change my mind if I was able to keep him at some point down the road. 2. If anything went wrong they were free to return him to me a.s.a.p. I had no problem with either of those things. Living at the Dorin's is kind of like staying at a luxury hotel for an animal. I knew he would be well cared for and well loved, and the bonus would be he would be in my life permanently.
Kate and Tom had some plans, so I agreed to stay with the dogs for the evening and ran home to get some laundry. My cell rang as soon as I got back, ARF had found his owner. They wanted me to drop Max there for the exchange but I refused. I told them to give the dude my cell number and he could come to me. What if he wasn't their dog? ARF was closing at four. I could see him stuck there for the night and ARF taking custody of him, with us ending up paying $125 to get him back, while he sat stuck for a few weeks. Yeah, I don't think so. When something is "mine" or I perceive it that way I go right into protective lioness mode. Not something I can help, it's automatic. The gal at ARF was going to argue, but when I get like that you might as well forget it.
So Max, who is actually Lance, went home around three yesterday. It was cute, when I asked him "Hey, is your name Lance?" He jumped up on me, looking relieved that I finally got it. Kate and Tom were a little sad and said a brief goodbye on their way out the door. I, on the other hand was devastated. Is it pms? Could be. Do I really just want a dog that badly? Possible, but I know a lot of dogs and this is only the second one that I have bonded with like that. When his owner picked him up (I did recognize the truck, it was the one driving slow around Kerri's neighborhood Friday night that I ran around the house to catch, but missed.) Max (He will always be Max to me.) obviously knew them, but didn't make much of a fuss about it. It kind of concerned me. He also kept turning to look at me as they left, and I had to quickly get myself back into the house before I lost it. In my mind he should have been much more excited to see them and go home. It will bother me for awhile. He was more excited to see me when he got out of Kerri's car a few hours earlier.
So what was the point of all that? Pretty convoluted just to get ol' Max home. His owner would have found him with us on Friday if that was the only thing. I don't need any reminders either about how much I would like to have a dog of my own.
Then something happened today. My sister and her husband are really now seriously talking about getting a second dog. It was obvious how much Sky needs a playmate. Having my Max at their house really showed them the kind of dog they need. Today, Kate found an adult male retriever online here in Superior, and his name? You wont believe it, but it's true. It's Max. She's emailed to get more information about him to see if he will fit into their family. Stay tuned. The whole episode could very well have been to get them to him. God works in mysterious ways, and I guess I don't mind being a bit player in that one. Except I really, really, REALLY wanted that dog.
My friend Nancy said to me something like, but you're glad he found his owners...really. Honestly? Nope. That's the thing about me. Oh, I'm glad they don't have to worry, blah, blah, blah....but no. I want what I want and I can never understand why I can't have it. That's what makes me "The Queen of the World." I guess. That dog was blocks from home and chose not to go back for whatever reason. We were outside for four hours with him, he was not tied up. He's not a dummy, he knew where to go, I'm sure of it. As sure as I am that if he gets out again he will head right back to Kerri......... and I don't really know what I would do about that. "He's not your dog." says my sister. Yep, and Milkie wasn't my cat either, but she wont ever be returned to someone who doesn't care for her properly. Even if she is more roommate than pet, and occasionally my nemesis. She will always have a safe roof over her head, with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment