2011

If I'm writing one last blog this year I'd better get moving!  I honestly didn't think I would make it up to see the ball drop in NYC, but this cold hasn't totally kicked my butt.  Just enough to ruin my New Years Eve plans, and end me up home alone, which is what I was trying to avoid in the first place.  Hence the dating adventure.....   So I will give Milkie my midnight kiss, and try to collect on a rain check some other midnight. 

I have nothing to ponder, nothing to preach, no story to tell....... oh, well.  Yeah, did I tell you the one about "Blue Eyes" being a total dud and disappearing into the sunset?  I think I'm just going to start calling them "Bachelor", as in Bachelor#1 etc.  So Bachelor #1 was a dud.  I missed out on meeting Bachelor #2 because of the cold.  As I told a good friend earlier today, "I'm sure we are going to see high bachelor numbers, because I am not going to settle for anything less than spectacular."  He wished me luck with that, and I said "You know what I mean.  I'm not looking for Prince Charming."  I certainly realize he doesn't exist.  What I'm looking for is that connection, and honestly someone worth my time.  Someone who might actually put me first on occasion.  That would be a refreshing change. :) 

I have taken all of 2011 to spend time getting to know myself better.  I really didn't intend to take that much time, but apparently it was needed.  It hasn't been my favorite year...... I'm glad it's leaving.  I'm looking forward to everything that 2012 has to offer.  

The best part of 2011?  Re-connecting with myself, and getting to know some old friends all over again.  ♥Beecharmer you rock. 

Live in the moment!

J

Resolutions

I read this quote on a friend's facebook page.  (Thanks Emma!)  It's several of the popular sayings of the day rolled into one, and I like it, so I'm going to share it with you.  It kind of fits with my New Years resolution.

Laugh your heart out, dance in the rain, cherish the moment, ignore the pain, live, laugh, love, forgive& forget life is to short to be living with regrets ♥

While I do remember to live my life along the lines above, I spend too much time on autopilot.  I have a really hard time "living in the moment".  It's a coping mechanism I suppose, and it gets me through the day, that's for sure.  When it's hectic in the classroom it's easy for me to switch to auto and go to my "happy place".  :)  When I want to strangle a co-worker, or another adult who is annoying me, I just slip away instead.

So the only resolution I'm making this year is to work harder at "living in the moment."  I'm going to try and be an active participant in my life, all of it.  So I guess that's fair warning.  If you are acting like an idiot and annoying me, well.... you might just get strangled. :) If you are wondering if that pertains to you, it probably does. 

I had already planned this as my resolution, but after Barb's death this week, I'm all the more determined.  I will not waste one more minute of this life God gave me, not when she, and so many others, have had to leave this world early, without even a chance to fight.

Thank you for reading, and for sticking with me through 2011.  It was a hell of year.  I'm looking forward to 2012!  May you all have a happy and safe New Year's weekend, and LIVE in the moment!

♥ Jo

Nod and Smile

~Barbara Jean Goddard Stahl
November 23, 1967 - December 28, 2011

Life always has a way of putting things back into the proper perspective.  The dating woes of "Does he like me?",  "Do I like him?", really don't matter at all in the large picture.  What will be will be.  We can try our best to muddle along, but in the end, what will be will be.

This afternoon I found out that an old friend of mine died yesterday, from a sudden illness.  We worked together in the early nineties at the "Y", and were even roommates from '91-'93.  She is one of two people I've ever shared my space with on a permanent basis, if you don't count family.

Of course, as people do, we lost touch over the years.  I bought my first home, and she started subbing for the school district on a regular basis, so she was done working for the "Y".  We would run into each other from time to time at the store and do the quick catch up.

The things that stuck with me about her over time were her neat freakness, :)  and how much she wanted to be a teacher, and settle down with a husband and family of her own.  She achieved all of those things, and now leaves behind stunned students, a husband and two children.  According to her obituary she was preceded in death by a son.  That I did not know.  It had been quite some time since I had run into her, and we didn't hang out in the same circles.

Strangely enough I saw her three weeks ago when I had my car in at Walmart to replace the battery.  She was in the clothing aisle with her daughter, and I was on the main aisle heading back to pick up my car.  She was busy, I was in a hurry, and while we noticed each other, we just did the "nod and smile".  I see you, you see me, we're both too busy to chat but hey, take care.  You don't think about it in the moment, but I sure regret that today.  You think I would know that lesson by now.  Take a minute, say hello, say good-bye, do not leave things undone or unsaid, do not just assume you will have another chance, because in the end what will be will be.

While I haven't spent time with you in a long time, I will miss you Barb.  I'm glad you found the life you always wanted, and I'm so sorry that you had to leave it.  Rest in peace my friend. ♥

Christmas Magic

I had the title for this blog all picked out, and a different story to tell, but something happened last night to change all that.  Yes, I met someone this week.  Yes, we had a date last night to go out for Chinese and look at Christmas lights.  Yes, he's great.....  more than great.  So I was going to write a blog about dating and taking chances, and all that blah, blah, blah, when something else happened.

Last night, hmmm..... a name for him?  Blue eyes will do nicely.  Last night when Blue Eyes left it was probably around twelve thirty.  I shut off the Christmas lights, straightened up a little and headed off to bed.  It was dark in the apartment, but a bright light shone through the bedroom window.  I walked over, moved back the drapes, and was stunned.  There before me was the Christmas star.  Nothing else in the sky, just this brilliant star.  I've never seen anything like it.

Elise sent me a clip about a comet, and that's probably what it was......but in the moment all I could think of was the Christmas Star.  I stood there staring, in stunned silence, for a moment or two, and then I began a wish that turned into a prayer, and for the first time in years I felt my spirit lighten.  That's the only way I can explain it. 

After watching the star for awhile I got ready for bed.  I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth and gave Milkie a drink from the sink. (She is so odd.)  When I came back to the bedroom the light was gone.  Strange.  I threw open the drapes again, and the star was still there, but it was just a regular old star in the sky.

I tried the thirty days of thankful to get myself into a better frame of mind and it helped some. I worked hard at Christmas Spirit, and it helped more. I saw the star, prayed straight from my heart, and when I woke up this morning whatever it is that has been dragging me down for years is gone from my soul. Gone. 

So there's my Christmas Magic.  A small miracle actually.  Comet or no, something happened last night that will stay with me always.  I hope that you all have had a very Merry Christmas, and will keep a bit of it's magic in your own hearts for the rest of the new year.

Milk and Cookies

This blog should have been published yesterday on Christmas Eve, but some little elves got into my computer and took it down for a day.  Santa Bumpie fixed it all up this evening during Christmas dinner.  Thanks David! 



Here she is Milk fans!  Ashlyn took this picture of Milkie on Christmas Eve morning.  Isn't she adorable?  We all think so, and she was very well behaved while the girls were sleeping over, and for that matter when we had company last night, and when the whole clan was here today.  The last few months have really brought a change in this ornery kitty.

Milkie came to live with me last Christmas Eve.  We have had some interesting moments, but seem to have FINALLY bonded.  She isn't my nemesis or my baby.  She's a little something in between, which keeps things interesting.  I think I'll keep her.  :)

Christmas Carols

This blog has been two weeks in the making.  For the first time ever I was able to get to all five of the kids Christmas concerts.  I made a big effort to make that happen, in the spirit of the Christmas Spirit experiment.  Say that five times fast!

I started out back in my old stomping grounds last Wednesday.  Paul attends Cathedral, where I went to junior high.  Nothing about that place ever changes, including the smells.  When I become rich and famous I am going to build them an auditorium with seats.  Those bleachers get worse to sit on every year, and they were horrid when I was 12.

The Artist Formerly Known as Pablo is on the right wearing a blue shirt, behind the girls.  He always looks so darn serious! It was a nice concert, even if we were packed in like sardines, and I had to park four blocks away. :)  Great way to kick off my holiday concert mission.  Especially with the religious Christmas music.  You know, an actual CHRISTMAS PROGRAM!

Last Friday I left work early and headed out to Lake Superior Elementary to attend Caitin and Hannah's concert.  This is my favorite school to go to by far for this sort of thing because I absolutely love their music teacher, and they have brought back traditional Christmas carols.  Including one she wrote for the kids about the Packers.  ♫ Vikings better luck next year, fa la la la la, la la la la! ♫  No, I didn't make that up.    

Caitlin is definitely the drama queen of this group of five. She is on the right, middle child. I wasn't able to get a picture of her "performing", but you know that child that everyone watches because they are standing out in the crowd? Yeah.... She even raised her arms at the end of one of the songs. I just looked at her mother and said, "I don't have any idea where she gets that from." :)

Here is our shy flower Hannah, complete with Packer Santa hat.  All the kids came back for a group sing along at the end, dressed in Packer gear, and sat around the entire gym.  She just happened to be sitting in back of our row!  I had to do a little backward camera maneuver, but the chair held and I got the pic!  Oh, their teachers name is Ms. Putzke (spelling wrong I'm sure).  If your child is lucky enough to have her, be thankful!  I would like to be her when I grow up!

This past Monday night was Ashlyn's orchestra concert!  This year she is in two of the three groups, so I got to see her perform for most of the evening.  These concerts can go up to two and a half hours long, but this one was just about perfect at the hour mark.  I can't tell you how proud I am of her, and her work with the violin.  Last year she was even concert master of the group she was in.  Someday I'm going to get the chance to thank her teacher/conductor, who I know pushes her to be the best that she can be.  I couldn't get a picture of Ash with her violin, but I will over Christmas if she brought it home to play for us!  I guess we'll find out shortly since they're sleeping over tonight.

Last, but not least, I attended CeCe's Holiday program at Bryant school on Wednesday.  There she is with her assistant, Mrs. S.  (God bless her) I sat in that darn freezing gym for just about an hour on a broken chair, before the program even started, so that she could see us and know we were there.  She did see us, and even gave me a "butt" when she was looking at me.  I taught her how to say that.....and now she sometimes uses it when referring to me.  Not exactly how that one was supposed to go!  Luckily her teachers probably think it's just part of her babbling.......ha.  Not so much.  Mary, if you're reading this don't tell.  lol  That was the first time I had the opportunity to get to one of her concerts, and it did leave me pretty teary eyed.  My kids all did a great job, but this was a bit extra special for me.  Her strides are much smaller, but in other ways so much bigger.

If you're a facebook friend of mine you know that there are some other interesting things happening in my life right now, and I promise I will get to that next.  A little Christmas magic perhaps?

Shhhh it's a Secret!

Last week at work we did Secret Santa.  I can't imagine that there's anyone out there who doesn't know what that is, but for those few of you I will explain.  It's when adults (usually co-workers) get together, pick names secretly, and then leave little gifts for the person whose name you chose during a predetermined time.  Usually starts on a Monday and then ends on a Friday.  The daily gifts are a dollar or so, then ten dollars for the big "reveal" present.  Unless of course you work on Wall Street..... I do not.  :)

So I picked Annie, and she made it difficult, because besides for her fondness of snack food, I don't know her very well.  We had a questionnaire to fill out and she put a lot of sarcastic silly things.  I'm pretty sure if I put booze in her stocking that one, or both of us would have been fired.  The only thing she really wanted for Christmas was Rick. (her husband)  So I loaded her up a bag of AVON for her big present, and then at our Christmas party I had  Rick come up with me and give her a big kiss.  I hunted through my closet for a red bow, but couldn't find one.

I figured out on Wednesday who my Santa was.  When I got to work there was a mostly eaten candy cane on my desk. (Tom) Tom isn't doing the Santa thing, so I deduced that Jen gave Tom a candy cane after she put a PILE (yea!) of them in my stocking, and true to Tom form he left the evidence right on my desk.  She herself confirmed it on Thursday by leaving me pens.  Hmmmm..... there's only ONE person who continually steals my pens.  Unless someone has heard me giving her a hard time about it.........  Then on Friday I got a *drum roll* paper punch!  Yes!  Score!  Jen for sure, I must use hers once a week for something.  In my big gift at the party I got a bailey's mini, an ice hole mini, some candles, and the movie Risky Business.  That is an inside joke, and it was hilarious!!!! 

When we  were kids I would always sneak around and find my presents before Christmas.  I didn't care, it never ruined anything for me.  I was just that much more excited knowing that I'd gotten what I'd asked for.  This is the first year that I've been on my own where I've gotten myself a few things to go under the tree.  I wont let myself touch any of it until Christmas, so it still has a little excitement to it.  I'm not, and never have been really big on the whole surprise thing. 

We've had rain for days and it's finally snowing!  This working on Christmas spirit thing has been going well, I'm hoping for a white Christmas to go with it!!!

Bless the Beasts and Children

I think that is the title of a Christmas carol, but I could be wrong about that.  It could be the title for a book about my life. HMMMMMMmmmmm 

I am spending a few days playing stay at home Mom while my sister is in the cities getting all the hardware in her head checked out.  She has to do this every six months right now, just to make sure everything is where it should be.  In the past I have tried to work during these days, but it is just too darn stressful.  The real reason I don't have kids: I never in my life want to be a full time working Mom.  I've never been in a place where that wouldn't have to be the case, thus no kids.  It isn't the only reason, but it's the biggie.  That and the "I haven't met the man I would want to share joint custody with." reason.  Although that might not be the case anymore.  There are actually two that I could think of offhand, and that has to be some kind of a miracle. :)  NO, my biological clock is NOT ticking.  That thing wound down years ago. 

Cbiscuit has been a very good girl so far.  Now that she's on different medication we don't have to get up three times every night.  That is a major bonus.  Sleeping in my sisters room with the two dogs, is not.  The new one, Buddy, went insane when I tried to kennel him.  Once I got him in there I swear he would have chewed me to pieces if he had managed to get out.  I thought, "Oh here we go." but then he settled in.  Sky slept down by him, so it was all good for about two hours.  Then Sky climbed up with me, and while Buddy didn't carry on he thumps around a LOT in the kennel, waking me up every half hour or so.  Plus I'm not fond of sleeping with hundred pound dog who traps the covers. 

When I left today to come home and visit with Milkie, we again had WW3 at kennel time.  I even had his favorite treat.  I tossed it in, but he wouldn't go.  Then we just sat sadly together outside of the kennel door.  I told him I know he misses his Mama, and that he just needed to be a good boy, and we snuggled a bit, til I shoved him in.  All Kujo on me again and I just had to hold the door shut til he stopped and I could latch it.  Tom mentioned that his attitude is driving them crazy, and they hope it will settle down once he has his little procedure next month.  I forgot about that.  Poor Buddy. :) 

Milkie is pissed off with a capital P.  I was gone all night and I came home smellin' like dogs.  Wait til she figures out that I'm leaving again shortly and will be gone until tomorrow..... While she hasn't bitten me in almost a month, I'm pretty sure that's how this is all going to end.

So my sister is currently having the angeogram, hopefully things will all just be status quo.  We usually have a reprieve between these episodes, and are certainly due.  I am about to go and take a shower for the final step in my hair coloring procedure.  I don't know why I couldn't be happy as a stay at home Mom, this is not tough.  The boredom is what would get me, within a week.

Oh look, Milkie is in the Christmas tree again.......  *sigh*

When we said prayers last night I said "Bless Mama and Papa, and GOD HELP AUNTIE".   Whether CC understood that or not, she laughed her head off.

Pay it Forward

Wow...... this afternoon I am humble.  In the last two days I have had so many people take a couple of minutes out of their own day to help me with mine that it is amazing.  Most of them with offers of help that weren't even asked for, and the few people I did ask were more than eager to lend a hand.

I started my day as usual, up with no time to spare, get ready, heat up some coffee, grab the lunch and out the door.  That's where the trouble started.  Two degrees above zero, and a dead car in the garage.  On a warmer day I would have called work laughing and said "Yep, I'll be walking and you'll see me when I get there."  It can't even be a mile from here.  Instead it was, "I'm going to make a few calls and I'll get back to you."  Trying the old stand by's, Steve (no answer) and Kate (I can get ya at 8:30, Tom is working and I have to get CC on the bus.) weren't available, so I thought well.... Darrin does just live two blocks down, but it went to voicemail.  Bah. 

Of course I notice that the phone battery is now showing yellow. (great) I am also freezing my butt off outside.  So I decide to come in, drink the quickly cooling coffee, bundle up a little more, and call work.  I walk in the door, take a swig of said coffee, and my phone rings.  It's a number I don't know.  Oh well, what the heck?  It was Amanda from work.  She had called in to work to say she was running behind, and April told her to swing by and grab me!  "Do you need a ride?"  :)

Yesterday was our Christmas, oh I'm sorry, Holiday Program.  The kids did a fantastic job!  This presented another problem.  Anna (of course because you can ALWAYS count on Anna) told me she would grab me when she was finished with work, bring me to the program, and then take me on over to the Christmas party at Aces afterwards.  So that was covered.  She also brought me home. :)

There was a possibility that I would have to work a little later, so Kate couldn't grab me from work.  CeCe and the dang bus again. :)  Hmmmm.....  so I texted Steve and he said he'd grab me at 4.  Then later in the day it looked like he would be working late and I would be stuck, but when Christy saw me waiting she offered me a ride home.  So thanks to Christy and Mark for getting me home from work.

My brother and I touched base during the day, and this morning he and the artist formerly known as Pablo pushed my car out of the garage and gave it a jump.  He also gave me the jumper cables to keep, and followed me to Walmart where I got a new battery installed.  It was fun to watch Jerry teach Paul about the cables, how they work, and then watching him let Paul take the last ones off.

Paul and I (he's nine) talked about Santa, and before I could even start I got  "You can stop, the jig is up."  I reminded him that "If you do not believe, you do not receive." So then he changed his tune a little. 

My friend Melanie had some issues with the Walmart service center last week, so I was a little nervous, (plus it's Walmart) but it went really smooth, friendly people, and I even got a quote on the tires which is actually do-able once the xmas season is over.  (Please God hear that one.)  I had to wander the Walmart for an hour, and I was terrified.  However, I found that when I'm browsing and people watching, the Walmart is the place to be.  It's when I'm fighting the Walmartians that the trouble starts.

So a big thanks to all of you who helped me get from A to B to C to DEFG yesterday!  I really appreciate it, and I am looking for the opportunity to pay it forward this Christmas season!  I'll blog about the program/evening another time.  First I wanted to say thanks.  OH, how could I forget!?  In twenty years working at the YMCA I never received as much as a Christmas card.  This year I received a Walmart gift card from the owner, and an Ace's card from the director.  A parent that I don't even know paid for our first round of drinks! ( There's an idea for you parents out there who want to show appreciation LOL) So my dinner was paid for, and the Walmart card helped me out of a financial predicament today.  The gifts were nice and much appreciated.  However, knowing that I and my hard work are appreciated is priceless.  :)

Blankie

It's my younger brother ( by 14 months) birthday today!  It's only fitting to wish him a Happy Birthday, for without him I never would have had my blankie.  Happy Birthday Wing Nut (he loves that)!  You should come and hang out with me and the other Republicans some time. Maybe all three of you together would make sense to me....... but I doubt it.  :)  So I raise my coffee cup to my brother Jerry.   You were born in a snowstorm, and have been roaring ever since.  Love ya man, Happy Birthday!

My Mom actually had to walk behind my dad for two blocks in a snowstorm, while in labor, to get to the highway where a cop car picked them up to take them to the hospital.  He has always been trouble.

Anyway, enough about him.  The green elephant blankie is 41 years old, because it was actually given to my baby brother Jerry when he was born.  No, I didn't steal it.  When my Mom covered him up with the very silky blanket it would slide up over his head during the night.  She didn't care for that, so the blanket was tossed over to me.  I have no recollection of that, but I have no childhood memory without blankie.

I was not allowed to drag my blankie hither and yon.  Mom made me keep it in my bedroom.  Apparently I brought it to Aunt Mary's once and they forgot it, causing much mayhem, so I was never allowed to bring it out of the house again.  This is probably why it's still (barely) in one piece. 

Oh I loved my blankie!  I can still remember running my fingers over the silky ribbon on the edge to fall asleep.  The cool silk sliding between my fingers.  I slept with that blankie until I was eleven years old.  That's junior high folks.  :)  I am not ashamed.  It was my comfort.  We all need to learn to self soothe in some way, and that was mine.  At least it wasn't a wash cloth.  I'm not going to tell who THAT one is aimed at.  She will know, and it's not my sister. 

When I was eight or nine blankie developed a hole, and my mean old mother wouldn't fix it.  So I learned to sew and put on the kitty patch.  My Dad used to joke that he would carry it down the aisle with him when he gave me away.  Well, that didn't get to happen.  Not that I would have let him touch my blankie anyway. :)  But I thought of that on my wedding day(s).  Dad and blankie proudly marching me down the aisle.

I mentioned above that I only used blankie until I was eleven.  Then one day I just decided to fold her up and put her in a drawer.  Over the years I have moved seven times, and I always have had blankie with me, and I always know where she is.  I only see her once or twice a year when I go into that drawer, but I know she's there.

I have a new blankie these days, it's a sweatshirt that I nabbed from my sister years ago.  Her brother in law got it for her in Vegas and it didn't really fit her right.  Well, it didn't fit me either, I'm drowning, but I love it!  I would wear it often, but since Sam has passed I find myself wearing it to bed every night. (I"m still wearing it)  I had to sew a sleeve a few weeks back, and now there's an underarm hole that needs attention.  I'll fix it, because I'm not ready to give up this blankie yet.  No, I don't want to replace it.  Nothing else will feel so soft and cozy! 

So thanks again for the blankie Gerald!  Hope you have a great day!!

Love, your bleeding heart liberal sister. :)

Talking Turkey

Last night happy hour had a different twist!  It was time to make some turkey soup with my sista!  I headed on over with my share of the ingredients, and of course my laundry, for a fun filled evening of soup, talking, dogs, C-biscuit, laughing tears, and wine.  One glass for me, because even though I can tolerate the taste of Zinfandel, something about wine just does not sit well with me.  It makes me "spinny" and "icky" feeling all over.  My sister on the other hand had a couple of glasses, which is always funny to see since she's pretty much a non-drinker. 

I like to amuse myself, so every day my notification ring tone for texts is something different.  Yesterday I had it set to "The Grinch".  It had gone off a few times in my pocket, but I guess she hadn't heard it.  When I went to ladle the finished soup into large storage containers I had set my phone to charge on the counter near where Kate was sitting.  Things were quiet, then all of a sudden ♫ You're a mean one Mr. Grinch♫  I can't (obviously) show you the tone in my sisters voice, but it was definitely a did you just hear that or am I losing it kind of sound.  "Do you hear someone singing?  What is that?"  Now I wanted to reply with "Singing?"  but I couldn't.  I lost it and laughed til I cried.  She's a hoot when she's tipsy. 

Actually she's a hoot when she's sober.  She uses a phrase that drives me nuts. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"  So last night I just said, "No."  Puzzled look from Kate.  Then I continued, "No, I don't understand what you're saying, I'm an idiot, but you're going to say it 20 more times anyway, so I'll catch on eventually."  "Oh, I hate you guys." (How Tom got lumped in there when he wasn't home is beyond me.)  "Oh, are you not talking to me then?"  "Yes I'm still talking to you."  "Damn, I'll have to try harder."

Buddy the puppy is getting so big.  He jumped up on me and laid his head on my chest.  He's a boob man, go figure.  :)  He's going to be a tall boy for sure.  He bosses Sky around like nobodies business, poor Sky.  He never gets to be the boss of anyone, not even Buddy when he was a few weeks old.  Buddy sometimes will try and show dominance with Tom, and he tried it on me when I went to put them outside.  Started the wild barking and jumping, yeah.... we established pretty quickly how that was all going to go.  He's a good dog, and I slapped my hands together and spoke with authoritay (spelled wrong on purpose) "Buddy, get in that house." He moved, quick, in the correct direction.  So dumb, he's not.

In two weeks I have to spend two overnights with "the unholy trio".  In some ways I look forward to it, in most I don't.  I love them all from my own home just fine. :)  Kate is heading back to the cities for her semi-annual angeogram to check on all the clips and coils that make up her brain.  So I will play Mama Auntie while she whoops it up at Abbott Northwestern.  I took the second day off of work so I can recuperate from it.  "Do you understand what I'm saying?"  :)

The Christmas Spirit

I think it has actually been Christmas "season" since about mid October.  It gets earlier every year, and I for one don't care for it.  We can't even let Thanksgiving be a proper holiday anymore.  Christmas just butts right in and takes over the minute the dishes are done, if not before.  Jen, the kids, and I have been practicing for our "Holiday" program ( Heaven forbid anyone call it a Christmas program) for weeks now, and I think we're all a little sick of it, but those kids know their songs!  They are such a great group that I even wrote one for them called "It's Christmas Time" to the tune of "Sweet Caroline".  ♫ It's Christmas time, ho-ho-ho ♫  I don't stress about the programs any more, because I've learned over the years that no matter what they do they are cute.  I just feel better if they at least know the words (me too....I am usually the one who screws up) so some of them might actually perform for the audience.

As I mentioned in my last blog, I am trying really hard to find, and keep the Christmas spirit.  The spirit of giving, of family, of love, of joy, etc.  Two weeks ago I was seriously considering hum-bugging it again.  The thought of getting into the Christmas boxes, having to see Misty and Pepper's stockings.... my Mom made them, and mine too for that matter.  I thought maybe instead of facing it I would just skip it, til death do us part.  That really isn't me though, and enough is enough.  It didn't kill me to see them, although in the end I couldn't take mine out, or turn one of theirs into Milkie's.  So the rest of the decorations are up, just not the stockings this year.

My little tree, that was my Mom's, is up.  I am still not sure about it.  This time it's the cat, not my delicate sensibilities.  She just will not stop biting the branches.  I see her and yell and she goes to the back of the tree and turns her back to me.  (little shit)  I put a few colored balls on yesterday to see what she would do, and she has left them alone so far.  She also hasn't touched it when it was lit (fried kitty) so that's good.  I may put a few more things on it tonight.

I decided to dedicate more space to the village this year, so I think I'll work on that tonight while I watch "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."  I still love watching the holiday cartoons, no matter how cranky I am.  Funny thing is though, I'm not cranky.  Not at all.  Once I  made this decision a kind of peace has settled over me.  Ok, that may have something to do with having a four day weekend where I just focused on relaxing!  Whatever, I am thankful for it and hope I can keep it for a long while.

Thirty Days of Thankful

Well I made it!  I was thankful for thirty different things, thirty days in a row, and not one of them was a sarcastic comment or backhanded anything. :)  It hasn't adjusted my attitude as much as I had hoped (not the sarcastic part of me, I happen to like that part) but I have noticed a little change in the way I look at the world, so it's a start.  Here is what I came up with:

Day 1. I am thankful Sam's ashes are home, and for the time she was a part of my life.
        2. Good Neighbors
        3. Happy hour on Thursday.
        4. Our beautiful fall this year.
        5. Thankful could be there for a friend, and remind her what a strong woman she is.
        6. People who challenge me and stretch my mind.
        7. My health.
        8. Getting to hear the voices of singing children, daily.
        9. Parents who take time to be a part of their child's education.
       10. Thankful to see the first snow with the kids, and be reminded of unbridled joy.
       11. Veterans (Veterans Day)
       12. Good coffee
       13. Anna
       14. Green Bay Packers!!!!
       15. Pay day!
       16. Hot bubble bath waiting for me.
       17. Cookies (and remembering to bring them home)
       18. CL reminding me to catch snowflakes on my tongue.
       19. The bee charmer. ♥
       20. Two Thanksgivings that I don't have to cook.
       21. Three day work week.
       22. Appreciative people
       23. Facebook connecting me to old friends.
       24. Wonderful Thanksgiving memories.
       25. Espresso maker and the rockin' cafe mocha I made.
       26. My sister who accepts me for who I am, even if she doesn't get it. :)
       27. My brothers, who drive me nuts, but always have my back.
       28. My in laws, and their families.  One big extended family to me.
       29. All of the children in my life, most of all baby pig nose, Hurricane Hannah, Tater, TAFKAP
             and C-biscuit.
       30. Well, I'm thankful that I was actually able to be thankful for something everyday, without being sarcastic. That is NOT easy for me. It wasn't the big attitude adjustment I was hoping for, but I can tell that it has made me more mindful of the little things in life. So quietly to myself I will continue to be thankful. :)

So I guess the experiment was a success.  Now I'm working on finding and keeping the Christmas spirit.  Oh, yes I am.  If it kills me, you, and several innocent bystanders.  Ho Ho HO!  There's a Beiber singing Christmas songs on my tv as we speak.  (heaven help me) I'm going to watch them light the tree in NYC! 

Merry Christmas

This picture says it all.  I feel trapped into "Happy Holiday's" at this time of year, and I'm tired of it.  I'm going to have to pc this blog, and I'm tired of that too.  The day I'm free to write exactly what I really think, well..... y'all better look out.  :) 

At what point did it become wrong to say Merry Christmas to the people you encounter during the CHRISTMAS season?  I know that it isn't the only holiday celebrated during this time, and when Hanukkah arrives I will say Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends.  I don't happen to know anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa, but if I did I would wish them that too.  I also know some people who are Jehovah's Witness, and if I see them, I'll just wish them a nice long weekend.  So what the devil is wrong with wishing me a Merry Christmas?

The answer?  Nothing.  I am done wishin' y'all Happy Holiday's.  I wrote it on my newsletter at work, and that's the last time.  Forever.  Most of you know I was raised Catholic, and immersed in it just about as deeply as one could be without taking any vows. :)  (Yes, I know that explains what my issues are in a nutshell.) I was so sheltered that I never considered there were people out there who weren't Catholic, and even when that realization happened, I certainly never thought about people not celebrating Christmas until probably my later teens.

I respect every one's right to worship or celebrate as they choose, or as the case may be, don't choose.  I am pretty liberal as far as most things go, but this ♫ We wish you a Politically Correct Holiday ♫ business is way out of control.  (this is the edited part..... ask me and I'll tell you. lol) 

When did this get so crazy?  For me, I know it was because of work, and within the last ten years.  We teach the kids diversity, which is a very good thing, don't get me wrong, but when we lose our own identity somewhere inside of all that, well that IS wrong.  My "Merry Christmas" isn't trying to convert you to something.  Ha, I don't have anything except apathy to convert you to these days.  I wish I did.  I'm not disrespecting your beliefs, I'm asking you to respect mine I guess.  Maybe that's it.  We've gotten so concerned about respecting everyone else and their beliefs that we've forgotten to respect our own.  I just want to wish you well, and yes I know, believe me I know, that the holidays are not a merry time for everyone.  If you want to wish me a Happy Hanukkah, feel free.  If you'd like to give me presents for several nights in a row, I'm down with that too. :)  I will sit down with you at your Kwanzaa feast, and learn about your values and traditions too.  If my African American niece understood it, we would be celebrating it and her culture to be sure.  Happy Holiday me and you're going to get a Merry Christmas back. :)  Complete with the "Ruthie" smile.

I snagged the above pick from Carissa Riddle's Facebook page.  It reminded me to write this.  Thank you, and hey!  MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

OH, one other thing.  I attended my nieces "Holiday" concert at Lake Superior Elementary last year and was pleasantly surprised to find *gasp* traditional (not religious, don't get your undies in a bundle) Christmas music on the docket.  Afterwards I made it a point to find Mr. Howard, the principal, and THANK him.  It was about damn time. 

Intolerous!

The spell checker is going to go wild on this one! 

Yes, I know that isn't a word.  It is a Hannahism.  My niece Ashlyn is lactose intolerant, and for whatever reason, the goovers think it's hilarious.  Their cat is also, and back a few years ago Hannah shouted out "Piggy is lactose intolerous!" (the cat, not her sister) So, that's where the word intolerous comes from.

I love milk.  I have always been a huge milk drinker, but stopped buying it when I moved in here, because it kept going bad.  Half the time I don't eat here, and in the warmer months I will always reach for iced tea.  So in the last four years or so I've rarely had a glass of milk, but thoroughly enjoyed it when I did.  That is, up until a year ago.

When I had the girls for five days last New Years I made hot buttered Cherrios for Ash and I one night after the goovs had gone to bed. (they aren't fond of them) We sat down with our snack to play Monopoly, and I had a big glass of milk.  Now, O's are really salty, so I had a second big glass of milk.  I paid for that the rest of the night.  I was thinking I had a tummy bug, but woke up in the morning just fine.  Then the next night I had a glass and immediately had tummy trouble.

Inconceivable!  Me?  Lactose intolerous?  That just can't be!  Well, it is.  It's so bad now that after one small glass the other night my tummy hurt.  I had a splash in my cafe mocha this morning........ not good.  Why?????  Ugh.  No I'm not drinking that soy crap, don't even bring it up.  I forget who I was talking to about getting older and all of these weird things happening, like suddenly becoming lactose intolerous, and she assured me that many of these oddities right themselves again as time goes by.  I sure hope so!  I long for the day when I am "tolerous" again!

Yes, the irony that my cat's name is Milkie does not escape me.   :)  I'm still tolerous of her, mostly. 

The Goblet Incident of '76

I will come clean, I'm guessing at the year.  I would think that my brother and I couldn't have been more than five or six when it happened.  I'm still wondering how I didn't get the blame, because heavens it certainly couldn't have been HIS fault.

I'm fairly certain the holiday we were celebrating was Thanksgiving.  We didn't usually go to Aunt Mary and Uncle Clate's for Christmas.  We did for Easter a lot, but it was dark at five o'clock dinner time, so that leads me to believe it was Thanksgiving.  Aunt Mary had set a beautiful table, the lights were out and we were dining by candlelight. (this must be where I get it from) They had a small kitchen, no dining room, and we were crammed in there like sardines.  I was sitting across the table from my brother Jerry, who else was there, or where they were sitting is all a blank to me, but my brothers face is as clear to me as if it happened yesterday.

Now I must tell you that in my Aunt Mary's eyes my brother Jerry could do, and never did (except perhaps this day) anything wrong.  A very clear favorite, that's for sure.  My best example would be the Christmas my sister and I got purses from Mexico, and my brother got a car.  A red jaguar.  Not a matchboxer, a car big enough for him to sit in and peddle around.  Bastard.

So there he sat across the table from me, angelic little cherub that he was. (not) Grinning at me like a crazy person.  I looked back at him, confused, wondering what was up, and then noticed he had a death grip on the water glass stem.  (Who gives little children glassware?) His eyes bored into mine with that evil little glimmer he has, my eyebrows shot up, and POP the entire top of the glass popped right off the stem!  The glass smashed onto the table, water everywhere.  Much Auntie concern about the little lovie being cut, and comments on the weakness of the glass.... my eyes rolling so far back I'm surprised they didn't stick. 

Then, she gives him a new goblet. (duh)  The table settles in to the murmur of visiting family and feasting.  Jerry looks at me, and then my glass.  I shoot him back an "are you nuts?" look.  No way am I going to follow that one up.  I did not just fall off the turnip truck.  I would have gotten in trouble, and probably blamed for my brother doing it the first time.  So he continues eating for maybe five minutes, then I notice him grinning at me again, his little fist strangling the stem of the water glass.  My eyes go wide in alarm, but I didn't really think he could make it pop off like that again.  Do I tattle?  Nah, I decide to see where this one is going to go, and try to keep myself clean out of it.  Suddenly POP!  Off comes another one.  It shoots into the air still intact, and then smashes on the table.  This time mostly empty.  My Aunt is shocked.  My mother is not.  I don't remember what happened afterwards, but I do remember hearing "GERALD EDWARD" coming out of my Mom, and snickering to myself.

It's funny, I can still see that evil little grin he had on his face as if it were yesterday.  My Aunt probably went to her grave believing she had faulty stemware.  :)  Kids, don't try this at home.  Ugh, I'm so tempted it's killing me.  Happy Thanksgiving!  Keep the stemware away from the kids.

Ghosts of Thanksgivings Past

When I write what I am thankful for tomorrow on facebook, it will read something like "I am thankful for all of the wonderful Thanksgiving memories that I have made over the years."  I have the gift/curse of a good memory, although half the time I can't remember what the heck I'm doing, or looking for, my recall of past events is amazing. 

I'm sitting here trying to think of just which memory to share, there are so many!  I think this year I will go with my earlier ones.  Of course I remember making hand turkey's in art class, and thanksgiving place mats at school.  I always think of my Mom making her dressing (ugh, giblets) after supper dishes were done on the night before the holiday.  The smell of the celery, onion, and sage filling the house.  She called it dressing, not stuffing, and it had apples in it.  I liked it, just not the little extra parts (giblets).  I always picked them out. 

Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Joe would sometimes come from Madison to share the holiday with us.  My very first real Thanksgiving memory is of a blizzard holding them up, and sitting outside my house in full snow gear, in a huge snowbank, waiting for them.  I couldn't have been more than six.  Another memory, probably the following year has me sitting in a car with Aunt Dorothy outside of Presidents liquor store, it was sleeting that time.  Uncle Joe was inside getting supplies for the holiday.  Then we flash forward a few years and my brother and I were playing in the woods, skating on some frozen pond water, killing time while waiting for them to arrive.  No snow that year, but cold.  I might have been ten.

Sometimes the holiday was at our house, sometimes at my Aunt Mary's.  We didn't do Thanksgiving with the Meys side, and my Grandma Meys must have gone over to Aunt Pat and Uncle Bill's house during those early years.  She and sister Eva Jean were definitely there with us in my later teens though.  I believe the water goblet incident, as it has come to be called, happened on Thanksgiving.  What?  I haven't told you the water goblet incident?  Ha, that will be my turkey day blog tomorrow.

When I was twelve, I had my first "boyfriend" ask me to "go" with him right around Thanksgiving.  He called me on Thanksgiving night, and I still remember part of the call.  (awwww) That would be Rick, for those of you keeping count. :)

Somewhere around this time things changed.  Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Joe moved to Utah, and Aunt Mary and Uncle Clate started wintering in Texas.  Now it was just our immediate family for Thanksgiving.  My Mom was the church secretary at St. Anthony's, and she would invite the housekeeper, Dorothy Baker, and the priest, Father Pius to join us.  I remember lots of laughter, and checker games.  Then the later teens where my Grandma Meys, and Aunt, Sister Eva Jean would join us too.

Funny thing is, though Wally and I were together for most of those years, I have no Thanksgiving memories of him.  He was always out at his Grandma's farm hunting.  Lots of memories of my siblings and Vicki and I playing outside during the holiday break from school though!  I'm trying to think if I even saw Wally when I came home........OH, the Wiley story.  I didn't see him when I came home in '87 for Thanksgiving. He was in basic training.  He called though, and the operator had a southern accent.  I was laying in bed sleeping in and I hear my sister say  "No, I wont accept the charges, I don't know any Wiley."  I came flying out of bed yelling " It's Wally you dummy!"  On the other end he's yelling "Katy it's me!"  Sheesh..  :)

So I sit here laughing, although almost everyone in this blog is gone now.  They are good memories, with good people, and good times.  May we all make many more happy Thanksgiving memories this year.

Sam Angels

I may have another post from another year with this title.  I'm just too lazy to go and find out.  :)

We had our first snowfall yesterday, it only amounted to maybe half an inch, and has mostly melted.  More snow is expected for later today, maybe an inch or two, nothing exciting.  Officer Dave is having himself an old fashioned blizzard out there in Wyoming.  I'm a little jealous.  Just a little.

Traditionally (well the last four years anyway) I would have Sam right now.  Hunting season has begun in Wisconsin and it isn't safe to be an outdoor dog, especially with her coloring.  Plus the loud noises scared her.  Plus it's just mean to leave your animals outside like that.  There, I've said it.  I am not a country person in that respect.  They don't belong roaming the countryside.  It isn't safe, and it isn't kind.  I don't know how she made it to fourteen living that kind of life.  Just lucky I guess, but minus the bottom half of her front teeth from trying to bite her way out of a trap when she was little.  That's all I have to say about that.

Yesterday when the kids saw the mini blizzard pouring out of the sky they ran to the windows and the ruckus level in the room went to about 150%.  As I watched the playground be almost instantly covered in a blanket of white a tear slid down my cheek.  Sam loved snow.  She absolutely loved it.  She would rush outside and stick her head in a drift even if it was 2 degrees.  Then she would flop on her back and roll back and forth in it, making what I call Sam Angels.

As you can see, she didn't need much snow.  She would have been so excited to see this first snowfall, and I would have been lucky enough to had her with me more than likely.  I miss her every day, but especially right now.  For the rest of my life I will think of her when the snow flies.  Now she really is my Sam Angel. ♥  Very fitting that as I finish this the snow begins to fall.



Gypsy Tears

I have a friend, we'll just call her Gypsy.  We've known each other forever it seems, and minus a few years of our lives, that's the truth.  When I think of her, I think of the night Big George found us all at that party, and how she and I fibbed our way out of trouble.  Well, she fibbed, I was just there to make it look good, cause I rarely got into trouble.  I think of teen-aged dances and what we thought were broken hearts.  Listening to that sappy 80's music and crying our eyes out over love gone wrong.  I think of arguments we had because we both have strong personalities, and didn't always agree. 

Then school ended and we drifted into our own lives.  We spent time catching up at our ten year reunion, and then a few years later at Wally's funeral.  On the hardest day of my life hers were one of the hands I held.  I used her strength to bolster myself so that I would not fall, and when I finally gave in to the pain it was her arms I felt around me, and her voice that I heard saying "we've got you, it's o.k.". 

We've known great loves, and unfortunately great losses, and we now live half a country apart.  Facebook was the thing that ultimately brought us together again.  I admired her strength and courage when she picked up her life and moved out east.  I am a huge fan of her work, and she has been a tremendous inspiration to me. 

This past week things have unraveled for her again, and having just emerged from my own pain, I feel hers, deeply.  I wish there was something I could do or say to take it away, but I know from experience that this is something she has to do on her own.  Everything I could offer would sound like a cliche' anyway.  If I were there I would give her my hand and hold her up, let her use some of my new found strength until she could find her own again.  If she were here, I would get the girls together, turn on some 80's ballads, and get a Shamrock Pizza.  Heck, it couldn't hurt.....

To the Gypsy:  Be good to yourself. Take however long you need to heal, and only YOU can know how long you need.  Know that so many people wish they could help, or just plain fix it.  Lean on your friends, when you can.  No one will think less of you for it.  Strong women forget that sometimes, and you are a very strong woman.  P.S. I have Shamrock on speed dial. :) ♥

Creepette

Well it finally happened.  When I went out with the girls on Friday it was all calm and tame.  No oddballs, weirdos, or creepers of any sort.  Sorry Shelly, you are not creeper material.  I even said as we left, nothing has happened tonight, I'm a little afraid of the parking lot!

Fast forward to Saturday afternoon.  I met "The Boys" down at Shultz' to watch the Badgers kick the crap out of the Gophers.  Even though I missed the first quarter, it was already a blow out.  After the game ended, and we watched the end of another history making game, which in true girly form I can not remember one detail of, except the blue field...... This isn't because I'm a girly girl, it's because I don't follow college football, and I'm not going to start caring about it now.  If I don't care about something, I can't retain the information, period.

Anyway!  So the boys all wander off, either home to the wife or to "hit the head" (man talk) and there I am, alone.  This is always how it starts.  So in walks my Creepette.  Now, walk is a relative term.  Stumble would be closer to what it was.  She sits down to my left at the end of the bar and says hello.  I'm polite, I say hello back.  Then this dude shows up and she tells him to go away.  They argue for a bit, which was very awkward since I was basically sitting in the middle of it.  WHERE are Darrin and Bryan??  So he finally gives up and sits by the end of the bar.  She says to me "I'm sorry, I'm being a bitch."  I said, "Hey, we all need a little space sometimes."  Which gained me a new best friend.

We talked about incoherent things for a few minutes and she left her stuff to go over to the juke box.  THEN the boys return.  I told them about it, and then said "Don't look now, she's in that guys lap, and that is NOT the one she came in with."  Sure enough the man she did arrive with was over in a flash.  No fight though, just a lot of talking.  So we continue our conversation at the bar, until about ten minutes later she returns.  To talk, to burst my personal bubble with hands on my arm and hugs, to at one point, honest to God, getting so close into my business that I thought she might try to kiss me.  I shot Darrin a look, and I get back a grin.  I'm a big girl, I can deal and deflect all of it, but you know I don't think they would have had the same reaction if it was some drunk guy.  At least I hope they wouldn't.

So I'm considering leaving because, I am hungry, my hamstring is killing me on that seat, and well yeah...... I'm not doing this the rest of the night.  Then she gets up and goes outside.  I'm not going to head out and be alone with her in the parking lot, so I go back to the conversation.  Darrin said something like "Wow, how do they find you?" and I responded that "I must have something written on my forehead that only they can see."  So we chatted a bit more, then when she came back to snuggle up, I said my good-byes.  I gave Darrin an extra squeeze when we hugged good bye and said "Enjoy my girlfriend."  He said he was moving down the bar. Chicken.

True to form, I text him about a half hour later to see how my girlfriend was doing, and to thank him for the invite out with the boys. Apparently a few minutes after I left two drunk people showed up and dragged her out of the bar.  *eye roll*

So I guess that is the closest thing to a lesbian experience that I've ever had.  hahahaha  yikes.  Ugh, I'm like a magnet of some sort.  Maybe someone has put a voodoo curse on me?  Hmmmmm........

Quotes

My Sister in law, Elise, asked me yesterday to send her my four favorite quotes.  As Christmas is just around the corner, I resist the urge to ask why.  So I took out the green notebook where I keep them, because although I know what they are I wanted to make sure I got them right.  I have had this notebook for years, probably close to twenty years now that I think of it.  It is filled with bits of wisdom that I come across from time to time.  Every now and then I will just sit and re-read them.

I thought I would share my four favorite with you. 


I'm not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my own ship.
~Louisa May Alcott

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches on the soul and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all.
~Emily Dickenson

When you get in a tight place, and everything goes against you, til it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then- for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
~Harriet Beecher Stowe

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
~Hellen Keller

There are many others that I like, but these are, and always have been my top four.  I'm sure that they are by women is no coincidence, although many of my favorites are also by men.  I am inspired in some way by each of these women.  So today I'll ask a question.  What is your favorite quote? 

Fall Back

Last weekend we set our clocks back an hour. I didn't have to do much because my phone, alarm clock, and computer all do that automatically.  Although, my phone did it automatically for some reason the weekend prior.  They got around to fixing it at about noon on Sunday.  When I woke up at seven and my phone said six it really confused me.  It didn't help that I had a little too much Jack the night before when I was out with the boys.  It went like this:

Hmmm, my alarm clock says seven, but my phone says six.  They are both supposed to be automatic changers, and that's not til next weekend.  Right?  *stumble out of bed to look at oven clock*  Yeah, it says seven.  *stumble to the bathroom, come back to the bedroom and stare at the alarm clock, get back into bed, look at the phone.*  Six o'clock.  What is going on? *stumble out to the calendar*  No, it isn't until next weekend.  Go back to bed crazy pants, it's the phone, not you.   Which I did, and then slept til ten.

I am a daylight savings time gal, I will run errands, hang out with friends, and just be a happier person in general, although heading to work in the pitch black isn't really something I am a fan of.  On the flip side of that, I definitely don't care for it being pitch black at five thirty at night.  This has been a really long week, with extra work hours for conferences.  That will be nice on the paycheck, but so not worth it.  Not that I mind chattin with the parents, but my time is, and always has been more precious to me than any amount of money.  At happy hour last night I was a zombie, and headed home at about eight.  I was dead asleep for the night by nine thirty.  Twice this week I have fallen asleep on the couch around seven.  I have even actually sat and watched several tv shows without jumping off the couch to do 16 other things.  It doesn't mean they were interesting, it means my energy level is way down. 

Well, at least I no longer work in a basement, so I can see the sunshine.  I do also get outside every day with the kiddos, which is important for all of us.  I just can't stop my inner clock from trying to hibernate.  Nap time anyone?

Used Toys

Do I really need to say more? 

Women Rock!

Saturday was spent in the company of some fine women from all over the northland, and of course my gals, Boomer and Sandy.  (They really like the alias thing.)  First we drove up to Spirit Mountain in Duluth to attend "Women Rock".  It's a fundraiser for breast cancer.  Several vendors were set up, lots of drawings and freebies.  We saw part of a marital arts demonstration.  There were some interesting things in the silent auction, and champagne for a dollar!  No booze for me, but I owed Boomer a dollar....

Boomer and I were also able to get a free chair massage, which was divine.  There was also a dude giving $15 massages on a table, which I'm sure were great, but I didn't really feel comfortable lying out there like that in front of the crowd.  I'm thinking that might just be my Christmas present to myself though.  I certainly could use one, in private that is.

The girls and I careened (and I do mean that, Boomer was driving) our way back over to Superior where there was a similar function going on at V.I.P.  although not a fund raiser.  We found our old Party Lite "dealer" Arlene, and Sandy got all set up for a party in a few weeks.  So if any of you need candles, I can hook you up!  I got to see how the Miche bags work, up close and personal.  I think it's a neat idea, but I just can't give up the "feed bag" that I carry around.  I love that purse.  Lets see... I won a pumice stone brush for your feet, and got to see some very, VERY scary belly dancers.  I mean, you go girl, but yikes!  Ah, I almost forgot the free pizza! 

It turns out that Superior was hosting an event this weekend, but I hadn't seen it advertised anywhere.  I think it was called "Girls Day Out."  You got a card and had to go to six area business' and have the card punched.  So we were out and about Superior then for the rest of the afternoon.  I honestly had only been into one of those businesses before (The Rocking Horse) so it really was a good promotional thing!  We also hit a few places not on the list, ending with an estate sale a few blocks from here.  That was gross.  Upscale house on Hammond, but the inside was totally original from the time it was built.  The upstairs smelled like pee, and the basement..... I don't know.  I had to hold my breath. 

All in all it was a good day.  I also had a unique opportunity to remind one woman that she does indeed rock!  I meant what I said.  You are a strong woman, you can do this.  It's the right thing to do........ and I always have your back, even if I'm in the car.  :) 

Mobile

So much for mobile posting!  I tried to send one this morning at five when I was WIDE awake from the time change.  All that appears to have come across is a bunch of gobbledeegook.  Where was I at 5am? Nowhere exciting I assure you.  Snuggled up in my big old bed, alone.  Now it is in those moments that I do wish for companionship.  Although when I think about the reality of that, it's probably just some big ol dummy snoring his head off while I try to find enough light to read a book.  :)

Kidnapped

I wasn't even going to go out tonight, but was easily persuaded to go to qwazadilla dinner at Lisa's house.  Kerri makes a mean margarita, and Lisa does a nice job with the Quesedillas.  Yes Nikki.  It's Quesedilla. :)  I'm going to tell that story one of these days!

After dinner it got down right boring, so we headed uptown.  I dropped my car at home and jumped into the back of Kerri's.  Off to V.I.P. we go.  There was a band playing........ Hell Puppies.  Oldies music, not bad if you're into that.  Kind of loud so you had to do the scream to talk thing.  Mid life man standing too close to me for comfort at the bar, but nothing happened to report. (thank God)  Christina showed up, so we visited for a bit.  Barry was late for work, so we missed him.  We wait for NO man.  Early night tonight, we're meeting back up in the morning for "Women Rock" up at Spirit Mountain.  Then V.I.P. has something going on around lunch time so we'll stop back in there.

After we left V.I.P. Kerri put an Air Supply cd on.  *sigh*  How many nights I bawled my teen aged eyes out to that stuff.  How many "drape and sway" dances did I snuggle in to whomever (actually it makes me think of Tony.....seventh grade....five million years ago)  while that music was playing.  "Turn it off!"  I yelled.  "Why are you singing if you hate it so much?" came the reply from the front.  "I hate you."

So instead of dropping me at home Kerri just drove by the apartment and around the "hood" with the windows down, blasting Air Supply, singing at the top of our lungs.  Thank God Kerri had to pee, or I'd still be driving around Superior singing "Sweet Dreams"!  As it was the concert continued after I got out of the car.  I stood on my steps, swaying and waving my middle finger in the air at Kerri and Lisa, as if it were in fact a lighter.........

Thankful

One of my facebook friends is posting something she is thankful for during every day of November, so I thought I would jump on that bandwagon.  A few of my friends have started doing it too, and it will be interesting to see what we all come up with.

I'm going to try really hard not to make any sarcastic thankful picks.  I will turn it into a positive statement if it kills me, and let me tell you, it might.

I really need to change my attitude, and hopefully this will help.  So here are the things I picked so far.

Day One:  I'm thankful that Sam's ashes are home, and for the part of her life that I was able to share.

Day Two: I'm thankful for good neighbors.   Yes, coming from me that might seem odd.  It isn't a sarcastic comment.  I do have a great neighbor, and have had some good ones too.  I have had enough bad ones to appreciate them when they aren't.  When I got home today there was a card in my mailbox, just addressed to "Jo" so I knew someone had put it there.  My first thought? "What fresh hell is this?"  What I found was a card from my neighbor and her kids.  Just a little note to say they are thinking of me, and that they are sorry for my loss, and will always remember "fluffy" Sam.  Very sweet, and very unexpected.

Ok, we're going to try mobile posting one more time!

One of the Guys

Last night I got to go out with the guys!  We headed over to Shultz' to watch the Badger game, and then enjoyed watching all of the Halloween revelers arrive in costume.  I even kept up pretty well with the drinking, but lets face it....... I'm not one of the guys. :)  At ten thirty I switched to pop, which was stupid.  When I got home I couldn't sleep, not from alcohol, but from too much caffeine.  Next time I'll go with water.  Maybe there will be a next time?  I behaved myself, and I don't think that they censored themselves too much.  They didn't need to at all for my benefit, I'm really hard to offend actually. 

A funny creeper thing happened, because it always does...... but this time it was a 30 something, 6'4 dressed in a baseball uniform, longer hair, sunglasses, SMOKIN HOT.  Funny how when someone like that decides to share half my bar chair and put his arm around me you don't hear the words "no touching".  *shrug*

So I'm watching the game, trying to talk over the crowd noise, and someone taps me on the shoulder.  I turn around and it's the hot guy.  He gives me a quarter.  I'm sort of intoxicated, so I'm confused (ok, I would have been confused anyway) say thanks? and he walks away.  This happens every time he comes up for a refill.  (I left the quarters for the lovely referee barmaids.......who were dressed more provocatively than the Superior Housewives at Aces, but WAITED ON US AND REMEMBERED WHAT WE WERE DRINKING EVEN THOUGH THERE WERE A HUNDRED PEOPLE PACKED IN THE SMALL BAR)  PS. You should go to Shultz', it's an awesome atmosphere.  Very friendly people.

Then Darrin and Brian left the bar to rummage for a pizza to cook (they are regulars enough to do that) and Mr. Baseball re-appears.  He just shifts me over in my chair, takes a seat and puts his arm around me.  I look up at him and say "Where's my quarter?"  He gets up, dumps all the change out of his wallet onto the bar, and snuggles back into my seat.  Puts his arm around me, gives me a squeeze, and then he's off into the night before the guys return.

I looked at Darrin and I said "I can't prove it, but this is what just happened."  Although there was a pile of change on the bar, and plenty of other witness' if I need them.

So I had fun being out with the guys.  Darrin and I always have a good time together, and I really enjoyed meeting his friend Brian, he's hilarious.  Then there's Mr. Baseball......  Come on.  You have to give me that one.  After all the weird creeper things that have happened to me in the last few months I was due.  Overdue. 

The cereal killer and the Bob Ross costumes really rocked!  There was also this hot hillbilly named Melvin....... who looked amazingly like my friend Melanie........ and I think I even had a Boomer Cummings sighting!  All in all, a great way to spend October 29th.  Thanks Darrin ♥ I owe you one.

Reminders

In five minutes yesterday I was reminded of a few cliche's that are absolutely true.


1. God will never give you more than you can handle.

2. You will find things out when you are meant to know them.

3. A lie of omission is still a lie.  (To me it's actually worse)

4. Love and hate are a double edged sword. 

A bigger lesson that I have learned along this journey called life, is that you need to forgive.  Being consumed by hatred for those people who have wronged you just isn't any way to function.  At least it isn't for me.  However, for now I can't do that.  I wrote The End.  on yesterday's post, and I had no idea how strongly I would feel that a few hours later. (Oct 29 just keeps on giving) Someday I might forgive it, but it isn't going to be today.  I am going to let myself feel all the anger I have built up.  I wont let myself strike back, although I do have some lovely ideas..........  

5. Whenever God closes a door, he opens a window.   (any time now would be good)

AND  my favorite........... straight from Scarlette O'Hara

6.  I can't think about that now.  If I do I'll go crazy.  I'll think about it tomorrow.  After all, tomorrow is another day.

Wallowing

That's what I'm doing this weekend.  Wallowing and having a pity party.  Just feeling sorry for myself in general, and actually that's o.k.  I knew this was going to be hard, I guess I just didn't know how hard.  I'm used to missing Sam, I'm used to her not being here all the time.  It's the forever part that I'm having a hard time with.  I said my good-byes the last time I had her here, just in case.  I sat by her side when she took her last breath.  I don't question the decision made. When Leon was wavering,  I had to remind him that he asked me to tell him when it was time, and it was, in fact, time.  There isn't anything I've left undone, so I have closure.

 I'm just heartbroken.

Moves Like Hannah

It's hard to believe that Hannah (Oh well)Noelle is eight years old today!  The time goes by so quickly.  You blink and they are walking, blink again and it's the terrible two's, turn around and they're starting school.  It seems to go even faster now that all the kids are in school full time.  Hannah is in second grade this year, and is "the smartest kid in my class."  It's possible.  She also thinks she is smarter than her fifteen year old sister.  It starts early.

For the first time I actually got to have the kids on one of their birthdays!  Hannah sent a message through her mother to me on facebook (she isn't allowed to have one yet) asking when they could stay over, and it lined up right for last night.  She chose Pizza Hut for dinner, and we actually went to the restaurant, which didn't turn out too badly, and brownie sundae's, by Auntie, for dessert.  "Can we have BOTH kinds of ice cream, PLEASE Auntie?"  Then we watched the movie "Hocus Pocus", which was a big hit for the little goovers.  Ash was out cold on the couch before eight thirty.  Hannah made it the longest and fell asleep around ten.

This morning she wanted hot chocolate, pancakes, and bacon.  We also watched Hocus Pocus again, which was mostly play time while it ran in the back ground.  Hannah and Caitlin also got to set up my fall village, and they had a good time playing with that.  We played some War, and Hannah taught me some new dance moves!  She is starting to become less shy, and more like the hurricane of her very young days.

Happy Birthday my baby!  I'm so glad that I got to spend some of your special day with you!  Love you with all of my heart!!!   ♫ I got the moves like Hannah, I got the moves like Hannah, I got the moooooooves like Hannah♫

Sweetie Girl

If you follow my blog, then you know that this gorgeous dog is Sam. Nothing I could write at the moment could do justice to what I'm feeling, but I need to say something.

The Brown Eyed Man and I had to put her to sleep today.  It was a hard thing to do, to say good-bye to such a sweet, loving, and giving girl, but it was time.  I was blessed to have had her in my life for the four years that I did, and blessed to be with her as she took her last breath.  I owed her that.  She is the thing that literally kept me sane after I lost both of my cats, my relationship, and the looming job loss last fall.  She was my peace, and my comfort, until I got strong enough to stand on my own again.  Always loving, and of course, bossing me around.  She was absolutely the best dog I have ever known.  Probably the best one I will ever know.

When Sam was with me, right from the beginning, we were always together.  We would spend a lot of time sitting on the front steps just watching the world go by.  I would talk, and she would listen.  Somehow just being with her could erase the pain.  She always knew when you needed her.  It was funny how sometimes he would come to pick her up and she would be glad to see him, but when it was time to go, she wouldn't.  She would come and sit by me and look at him as if to say "Not yet Papa, she needs me."  Then other times she couldn't get out the door fast enough, because she was his peace and comfort too.

I felt so sad watching him walk away this afternoon, without her.  Knowing that he had to go and face that empty house, alone.  I know what that's like, and it about did me in.  Of course Sam came to stay and made it better.

I will miss her so much, but I know it was the right thing to do, and the right time to do it.  She's in a much better place, running free with Hunter and Sadie, and guarding her water dish from Pepper.  Misty?  Well, even in heaven she probably still wont have anything to do with Sam. 

Thank you my Sweetie Girl, for everything you have done for me, and been to me.  I love you so much, and I will always cherish the years that we had together.  Thank you Leon, for letting me be a part of her life, sharing her with me, and allowing me to be there with her today.  You will never know how much it meant.

Good night puppy.   ♥ Mama

Real Housewives of Superior

For reasons I can not say I will be using our pseudonyms in this blog.  Brandy T is me.....I have nothing to hide.  Sandy Hughitt would always like me to use that name, but I wont, and Boomer Cummings...well, she just likes the name way too much.  I prefer Carlette which was her first choice. 

Anyway, our evening began at Grizzlies.  Now I said we would not go back for Happy Hour there again, because the prices are just way to high, but my sister game me a gift card for my birthday so there you go.  I loved my titanic raspberry tea, and the fish sandwich there is always good.  Way too expensive compared to all the other places, but good.  The waitress kept hurrying us to pay, or "can I get you anything else?" because there was a line to get in.  That was annoying.  When we happy hour sometimes we can spend hours sitting and talking at one place.  Grizzlies would not be that place though, because of the prices.

Then we moved on to Aces.  Now before I get into THAT, I have to make a comment.  Grizzlies and Aces are priced a bit higher, and never ever have I been accosted at either one of them.  It's a different clientele, that have obviously learned manners at some point along the way.  The end.

So, we arrived at Aces, and right away we see Boomer's male friend who works there.  He's on his way out for the night, because as a rule only women are allowed to work the Friday/Sat night shifts.  Yes, that's true.  After talking with him we settle ourselves at a high table kind of near the corner out of the way.  Lots of guys watching the Brewers play ball, and I (who do not have cable) was happy to finally be able to see a game.  We have had issues with service at Ace's in the past and that's why we rarely go there.  It took about ten minutes for our gal to come over and take the drink order.  We all had the signature martini which mimic a cosmopolitan, but badly in my opinion. 

I'm busy watching the game, while we wait a pretty long time for our three drinks.  Suddenly though, I start to notice something.  The "hostess" caught my eye, or rather her obnoxious jacket did, and when I really looked at her I couldn't believe it.  Long blond curly hair, tight black short dress, boobs spilling out,  and a leopard print jacket covering it.  I turned to Sandy Hughitt and said, "Ha! Real Housewives of Superior."  To which Sandy replied.  "Oh my God, she goes to High School with my daughter."  Upon further inspection, she is no more than eighteen.  Yes, we are now wondering if you are supposed to be working, even as a hostess, in a bar when you are under age.  So now my interest is piqued and I start really looking around.  They are everywhere!  Young, long blond hair (mostly dyed) and extremely tight black dresses.  Boobs as far as the eye can see. 

As I stated above, I didn't care for the martini.  Not much alcohol in them so Sandy and Boomer decide to have another.  We wait.  We wait some more.  Real Housewives everywhere but in our corner.  Finally Boomer writes an S.O.S. note on a napkin (Dear Mysterious Stranger) and tosses it at her friend Adam(?) who is sitting near us at the bar, he flags one of the R.H. bartenders to get the drinks.  There is definite confusion among the R.H.'s and finally after much shaking out of the blond manes, and hair flipping, a young R.H. in training is sent over our way.  (This is tremendously amusing, but equally irritating to me.)

Finally the girls get their drinks, but this time no straw, no cherry.  Yeah, and at least from me, no tip. 

Boomer was wondering if I could run a poll on my blog, and I did used to be able to, but I don't see that function at the moment.  The question is.......   Would a man (because this is obviously targeted at YOU) rather sit and look at boobs all night and have bad service?  Or would he be happy with regular everyday competent women and good service.  I do have to mention there was one girl with short, dark hair, in a black (revealing) top and pants.  I never saw her serve anyone.

When I got home I saw an employment add for experienced servers at Ace's, and I laughed my head off.  They forgot to mention the blond hair, big boob requirement....... hmmm....if I dyed my hair...... not a chance. :)

Girl Power

Well score one for the little guy....... I mean the Queen of the World!  I spoke to the power company today, and landlord should have received his letter today also.  Until he gets an electrician in here and fixes the electrical entanglement, HE will be billed for all the power in both my, and my neighbors apartment.  The next meter read is tomorrow, so  HAHAHAHAHA.  I mean, no....that's what I meant. 

The gentleman I rent from thinks I'm a helpless female, who really needs a man to look after her.  It isn't his fault, I've cultivated that persona especially for him.  It gets things done around here.  He isn't the type you can "fire and brimstone" at and see results.  This time, however, he has crossed the line.  Lets just say I'm prepared for whatever his next move may be, and if I don't like it he's going to find out that I'm not helpless, and that I only play the game if I'm pretty sure I can win.  I didn't get the nickname "Queenie" for nothin'.

I may have mentioned that Steve has moved into his mother's house, and he now lives in the worst area of town.  It wasn't always that way, but has gone downhill over the last ten years or so.  He also is battling the slumlords in his neighborhood, trying to get things cleaned up.  This city allows these people to do whatever they please, and two things are obvious.  If the rent is paid you can do whatever you want to the neighborhood, without consequence, and that as long as the property taxes get paid the city doesn't give a damn about codes, violations, or anything else.  Hmmmmm......... I wonder if there is some sort of group out there I could join.  If there isn't, there should be.  Hmmmmmm......

If you happen to read this, and you are a slumlord......... Shame on you.  Shame. On. You.

Apples!

Ahhhhhh fall!  Today Steve and I made the trek to Bayfield Wisconsin to enjoy the Apple Festival with about ten thousand of our closest friends. I'm not really that much for crowds, so we arrive in the morning and kind of grow with it.  Then somewhere around noon I will look around and say ENOUGH!  I made it until one o'clock today, but did have a comfort zone to return to.  Melanie and Les (Copper Moon Pottery) were at the fest with their pottery.  Glad to see them doing well, and glad to see they are now making candle holders!  I'm a candle freak, but this isn't about that.  I'll see them sometime this evening as they are spending the night on my couch/air mattress.  Nice to be able to have some good visiting time, it's kind of hard when they are working! (as it should be)

You will note that I went to the fest with my Xhub.  It's something we used to do every other year when we were together.  I haven't been back since we split, so I guess it's been five years.  It was the last thing we did as a married couple in fact.  Anyway......   I never know how spending time with Steve is going to go, and I got ticked off right at the start, so I though it was going to be a rough day.  Then sometimes it's just awkward, but not this time.  We had a great time talking, listening to music ♫ Sweet Caroline...... bah, bah, bah ♫, and enjoying the gorgeous day!  Donuts and pumpkin spice coffee for the ride, and just a good time.

I wasn't exaggerating on the number of people who attend this thing!  When we headed out there were still cars streaming into the place.  It hit 80 here today, so people were really out in force.  It probably was tough on all the hat/mitten/sweater vendors, who the heck thinks about that when it's 80?  I bought some lip balm, apples, and some cinnamon and sugar covered almonds.  I was so looking forward to having hot apple cider, but it was just too darn hot!  I'll make some apple crisp and applesauce this week when things cool down.

One interesting thing about being friends with your ex husband is that you get to hear the dating stories.  I'm far enough off of the relationship where these are more amusing than painful. I swore I would not blog about it, and I always keep my word.  Too bad, cause it's good.  This is the part I don't understand about men.  "It's never going to work in a million years, but I'm along for the ride for now."  Well why on earth don't you just end it and move on if you know that???  I would, and I do.  You are leading the other person to believe there could be a future.  MEN   Yes, I generalize, but as a rule they do this all the time.  It's so much easier (and kinder) to move on right away, before people become attached. 

It was fun to car trip with him like we used to.  It brought back some good memories, and further cemented this friendship that we are building, separate from who we were back in the day.  No matter what, Steve and I have always been friends.  I'm glad to be past the crap, and able to have that part of our relationship back. 

This isn't the most flattering pic of me, the wind was blowing like crazy....I don't part my bangs to the side.  He asked me not to blog his relationships, but he didn't say I couldn't post his mug. :) (I probably forgot to ask.)  So twenty years later, here we are.  Happily divorced.